Cheat day -3/30

So I am totally cheating here – I can’t think of a single thing to blog about – zilch, nothing, nada – you get the drift. So I go into my drafts for inspiration and I find this from 2292 days ago. – more than 6 years ago!!!

The Nut tip toes into the bedroom at 2 am very quietly. The Tall one has an early morning flight and if woken up might just eat up the Nut’s pretty toes!

She draws the curtains, brushes her teeth, switches off the light almost tip toeing – scared that she might never use her toes again…and lies down in bed only to hear

in a very whiny tone – “Babyyy i am not asleep…what to do?”

The Nut patiently – “Oh ho baby…what happened – are u feeling hot”

The Tall One thinks and answers – “yaaaa that’s the problem”

The Nut reluctantly and patiently opens the window – deals with the curtains and hurricane breeze and lies down again

It starts pouring and the water comes into the room.

Babyyyy – can u shut the window – i am feeling cold now and my feet are getting wet (Really? Tall one…i am the one who sleeps near the window hunny…if ur feet are wet…mine have been washed off)

The Tall One trashes around in the bed in search of the perfect pose which will please the sleep god…knocking the nut the first time, pulling her hair the second time, kicking her leg the next time…and the Nut she holds her peace! (Bleddy morning flight pity)

The nut volunteers to sing “Rockabye baby” – the gesture is rudely brushed aside citing the Nut’s inability to sing.

I have no recollection of this night and I am curious as hell as to how this played out. And that’s why ladies and gentlemen you must never leave posts in drafts! Or at least complete it dammit 

And the above is the wisdom I leave you with tonight. 

Let go…

Do you ever wonder when you look at someone whether this will be the last time you will see them? Do you try and capture in your mind what their hands look like, their toes and what their hugs feel like? I worry that I will forget the scent of the person when they pass on.

You might catch glimpses of their features in photos but their smell will go away won’t it? Somewhere into the universe. Will you be sitting in your balcony one day and suddenly get their whiff and feel your heart so full from pain and joy? 

Would you beat yourself over all the things you haven’t done for the person? Would you regret the day who didn’t join them in their walk because you didn’t feel like?

Are you torn between being selfish and wanting them around for you but not wanting them to suffer and not wanting to watch them suffer?

I read a story about a set of twins during the holocaust maybe about 10 years old. They were sewn together by the evil doctor to resemble Siamese twins. They apparently were in a lot of pain and used to scream a lot – their mother overdosed them on morphine to kill them and relieve their pain. 

Do you wonder if put in a horrible situation of any kind you hang on to hope of things getting better or just want to escape the misery.I read stories of the survivors of the holocaust and how some of them went ahead and had a full life. Maybe some of them would feel that living through that torture was worth how their life turned out? 

But that’s the thing about life isn’t it? We can’t sit and brood – because then it is a downward spiral. The world will just look darker and darker. 

We need to believe in hope, be resilient about today and revel in the beautiful memories of the past. 

The past, the present and the future are yours to make your life beautiful. 

Let go of the negativity and regrets.. Just let go because it is your life to make beautiful …

I apologise for the morbid thoughts and all the mumbo jumbo that I have written but my mind is just full of this and I was hoping writing would clear my mind. 

X is for….X

By far the toughest alphabet to write something on. I thought I should write a poem as below:

Xhale! 

All the unhappiness Xtract!

To have a happy Xistence,

Where everything Xcites!

But as you can see – this was not going anywhere. 

Then I thought I should write about xenophobia – but my thoughts are as below:

Don’t be xenophobic. End of story 

I thought about writing about how we are all searching about the X in our life – like the unknown thing in our life for same their life partner, for some their happiness, some their retirement. And I realised I was talking crap.

Coz of course people will always have something unknown in life. If nothing, people don’t know the date they pass on. 

I thought I would write about Xmas and how much Ilove the festival. But this hot summer does not let me feel remotely Christmassy .

Oooh X men perhaps – but considering I had to google about what X men was about – I left it at that.

How a about a philosophical discussion about X-ray and what’s really inside us. Ummm yup there is no philosophy there.

And then I decide to leave X as just that a mystery .

So you scratch your head about what I should have written about. I am off to sleep.

Tada!

Oh wait…

Xoxo

I also considered writing something life changing about people who write xoxo being too afraid to show their love and how anguished their souls were. But I am kind, so I didn’t.

This is my pathetic attempt for X in the Atoz challenge for April