Category Archives: finding myself

Jan 7th Update -If I dont come back today, I never will…

The title should be a giveaway. Nope I haven’t been very well on my resolution per day – it is a lot harder than i expected. I expected things to be a lot easier but a few busy days like the last few days and I fall off the wagon. I haven’t even made any new resolutions!!!

It is taking me a lot of subduing my ego, to come back here and accept I am not doing as well as i thought i would

But I need to back me and accept these are temporary glitches and start afresh tomorrow – why tomorrow. Mainly because, today is going to be a crazy day and I am not yet in a place where I can power through a tough day.

Update for Jan 7th on  2017 resolutions

Resolution Jan 1st: Veg juice for breakfast – Done – Streak – 7 days

Resolution 2 Jan 2nd : Spend 15 mins a day (on weekdays) cleaning up – This resolution is kicking my backside. You would think getting 15 mins a day will be easy but nope not if you are me.

Resolution 3 Jan 3rd : Make my bed – Done – Streak 5 day.

Tomorrow i should be back with a new resolution and getting back on track 🙂

Adios!

Jan 2nd -Small Steps

This one resolution a day, I realise makes your life a lot more easy. You put less stress on yourself – Usually by Jan 2nd I am trying to balance all the resolutions I have made and I am overwhelmed at the sheer enormity of it all.

To know more about what i am talking about – Click here

One of my main dreams in life is to be organized – you know the type of person who knows where everything is. The one who is not struggling to find things or clean up the house everytime guests arrive. I feel this whole exercise of finding stuff, shoving the stuff back because you are in a hurry, really bites into my time leaving me feeling I dont have time to do the things I really want to do.

So my small change for today is to spend 15 mins a day on weekdays tiding/cleaning some part of my house. A friend who in the past was my despair companion in messy cupboards recommended I read up Marie Kondo’s book. Now i havent read the book – i found an article which found key takeaways from her book and I tried to adopt the same.

She recommends that rather than clean rooms, clean a category of things like books or clothes. So today – stupid as it sounds, I took on my handbags – I gave away 2 handbags which didnt give me “joy”which is one of her key mantras i think. The remaining handbags I used plastic packets and organized them into “dressing up handbags”, “work handbags”, “holiday handbags”,”Small handbags” and “oversized handbags”. This way its easy for me to find the right handbag without wasting too much time. Now if you think i have a closet full of handbags . you are wrong. You may think I am a handbag afficiando and you are wrong again. I am just a person with way too much stuff. Sigh!!!

Getting back to cleaning, post that I cleaned out the handbags and i was amazed at the things i found from medicines, to sanitizers, to money to earrings to lipsticks – Phew! the list is endless but what amazed me most is the amount of paper. It amazes me the amount of paper I find lying around my house – from receipts, cc slips, airline tags, to envelopes, to bills – Phew the list is endless.

Sure I took more than 15 mins today, but i am sure with time it will take me a lot less time to keep my things tidy.

But in the meantime, my bags are clean, organized and while I am a couple of bags lesser I feel a whole lot lighter.

Update for Jan 2nd on  2017 resolutions

Weight : Lose 10 Kilos by Mar 31st – No loss yet

Book – Read 25 Books by 2017 – Not begun anything yet

Resolution Jan1st: Veg juice for breakfast – Done – Streak  2 days

Resolution Jan 2nd : Spend 15 mins a day (on weekdays) cleaning up – Done Streak 1 day

Jan 1st – A resolution a day keeps Nuttie in sane or insane?

Like millions world over, this is part of a resolution. Like many world over, I want to be thinner, fitter, calmer, more at peace, more successful by the end of 2017. and like many world over, I have tried before and failed. This year I want to do small things – little steps to make me a better me.

One of my life’s mantras is – I want to be a better person today than I was yesterday.

Feeding off that – I plan to make a small change in me everyday through 2017- mostly directed towards me being fitter and more organized. I am sure along the way, I will realise some changes are not worth the effort (meaning Mujse nahi hoga) or don’t really matter and I will drop it. But I am sure you get the general gist of what I plan to do.

The deal is this – I have read that if you do something for 21 days continuously it becomes a habit. If I am able to make something a habit, I get to reward myself and no i dont know what my list of rewards are as yet.

Starting today- since I am a tad bit sleepy and a little hungover – I am starting small.

Day 1 resolution – a glass of veg juice everyday for breakfast.

In 2015 – I went to a dietitian for the first time and while I lost some weight with her, I promptly put it all back. But that my friends is another story, So this wonderful lady  introduced me to veg juice. Never in my wildest dreams, would I have ever thought I would enjoy this. But I have to agree I love it and it feels good and all that stops me from having it everyday is laziness.

So a veg juice a day – keeps nuttie insane (Yup I just love the tag line)

2017 resolution tracker

Jan 1st Resolution – Veg juice for breakfast – 1 day streak

Other Goals

Weight : Lose 10 Kilos by Mar 31st

Book – Read 25 Books by 2017

Adios and see you tomm.

Forever etched in my heart – Day 1/30

When I started blogging, I did it because I wanted to record my life. For sometime I did it pretty religiously too. But somewhere down the line I realised that while I can crib about my life, make fun of myself and the ones I love, write a couple of senti letters – I find it difficult to write about the little moments that fill my heart.

The first time I stopped blogging was when the elf was born – I never found the words rather I didn’t want to find the words to express what I feel for him. It was a private moment to be savoured by me and that was recorded in my heart forever.

When Swathi forced, I mean suggested that we do a blogathon, my first thought was to write about the amazing Diwali I had – the warmth of friends and family, the pang of missing some family, the traditions I was passing on to my son, the joy of cooking favourite foods of family and friends, the fun of dressing up and all the gratefulness I feel for everything. 

But like always I don’t find the words to do it justice.

Just a heart which feels all warm and loved. For everything I dislike about organised religion, I love how it still binds us irrespective of our beliefs. So I am grateful for that and glad we persist in some traditions.h

Jai Nuttie Mata ki! 

Oh good! Now you can spend time with the elf.

What made you leave your job now? After he is 3 years old.

Don’t you feel it is so much better for the elf that you quit your job?

If you were the random aunty or those “holier than thou human beings” I would smile and say yes. While I seethe inside. Do people really think that a mother would do something which is not good for their kid as they are implying me going to work was. Do they really mean to imply that I was being selfish because I chose to work over staying at home. 

How do I explain to them that I am not a bad mother nor do I love my kid less  because I felt no guilt at going to work. Don’t get me wrong, I had my days of guilt, my days of wondering If it was all worth it – but on an average I was happy! 

I don’t believe in living in guilt. I have always maintained that the elf was my priority and the day I felt that the elf was suffering or I was suffering because I went to work I would give it up.

I don’t believe the elf is better off or worse off because I worked for the first three years of his life. Online you will find all the pros and cons to working mothers. So I am not going to elaborate. 

Coming back to me – No, I didn’t quit out of guilt. I didn’t have a eureka moment 3 years later that I horror or horrors sent my kid to a daycare. 

I quit for me.

I reached a point where the next steps in my career in the banking sector didn’t ignite a passion in me. I felt empty. I felt I needed to do more for my soul. 

Sure being at home would make things logistically much easier because the elf had started school but that wasn’t my primary reason. 

The main reason I quit was me.

In India, for a woman the word ‘me’ is taboo – you always quit because of marriage or kids or parents or because your husband changed locations. 

But imagine a mother saying she chose not to work to find herself . 

Quitting for yourself is tough to explain. It’s tough to tell people that today if I find something I am truly passionate about I would go back to working. Sure I will look for more flexibility because I wanted to spend more time with the elf but yes I want to go back into the workforce. 

I have realised I can’t explain myself.i explain myself to the ones that matter. I think they see my view point. But to the rest of the world I am ok being the “good mother”

Beta good thing you quit. See elf is more friendly now –

Yes Aunty – all for him!

Now everyone say Jai Nuttie Mata ki! 

(Loosely translated to All hail mother nuttie) 

Z is for Z z z z

I fear that after this blogathon I have nothing left to write about and my blog is going to zzzzzz again. 

Think about it logically – In the six odd years, this blog has been in existence I have written 102 posts until mar-16. And then I go ahead and write 26 posts in less than 26 days. Since I started the blogathon 6 days late I sometimes wrote 2 posts a day. Do you really really believe statistically I have anything more to say?

But I have to admit that the blogathon has revived my love for blogging. I realise how much I missed the blog world. And silly as it sounds I feel accomplished that I managed to finish the challenge. 

In my head, I do plan to be more regular but really what more do I have to say? I have spoken about books, elf, places, friends, and a whole lot of other crap. Also I don’t know what I mean by regular either – does it mean weekly, monthly, bi-monthly? I know I can’t do daily!!!

Anyhow that’s in the future. For now I am going to zzzzz on those questions. 

Thank you guys for reading and commenting. Of course the most encouragement come from those also doing the blogathon with me. Thank you, I did it because you did it.

This is my entry for z in the Atozchallenge for April. It’s been fun! 

Y is for yesterday

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I climbed a wall and cried at the top of it because I was too scared to jump off.

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I cried because I was to leave a girls school and join a co-ed Coz I didn’t like boys.

Didn’t I just realise yesterday that boys make amazing friends too. 

And has it really been almost 20 years since I passed out of school and since I saw Port Blair !

Wasn’t I Just the nervous island return girl joining a college in Mumbai.

Has it really been 14 years since I first went to B school and met the Tall one and a lot of friends I have made for a lifetime?

Good lord , I started working 12 years ago.

Hello, wasn’t it just yesterday that the Tall one and I lived the dink life – back to back movies, late nights and not a care in the world

And the elf he was definitely born yesterday. Why does he keep claiming to be 4!
AAaah I guess this is being middle aged? I feel so old and yet I feel young. I don’t think I am old enough to be called middle aged. I am a bit apprehensive too. What’s next ? Will I have as many great memories of the rest of my life or will I bemoan yesterday. Will there be no excitement? Will I become a better version of me or will I just stagnate and remain who I am now. 

But like I said in the Q is for post – que Sara Sara – what will be, will be. But I owe it to me to live it up, don’t I?

This is my entry for Y as part of the April atoz challenge