Tag Archives: Marriage

Cheat day -3/30

So I am totally cheating here – I can’t think of a single thing to blog about – zilch, nothing, nada – you get the drift. So I go into my drafts for inspiration and I find this from 2292 days ago. – more than 6 years ago!!!

The Nut tip toes into the bedroom at 2 am very quietly. The Tall one has an early morning flight and if woken up might just eat up the Nut’s pretty toes!

She draws the curtains, brushes her teeth, switches off the light almost tip toeing – scared that she might never use her toes again…and lies down in bed only to hear

in a very whiny tone – “Babyyy i am not asleep…what to do?”

The Nut patiently – “Oh ho baby…what happened – are u feeling hot”

The Tall One thinks and answers – “yaaaa that’s the problem”

The Nut reluctantly and patiently opens the window – deals with the curtains and hurricane breeze and lies down again

It starts pouring and the water comes into the room.

Babyyyy – can u shut the window – i am feeling cold now and my feet are getting wet (Really? Tall one…i am the one who sleeps near the window hunny…if ur feet are wet…mine have been washed off)

The Tall One trashes around in the bed in search of the perfect pose which will please the sleep god…knocking the nut the first time, pulling her hair the second time, kicking her leg the next time…and the Nut she holds her peace! (Bleddy morning flight pity)

The nut volunteers to sing “Rockabye baby” – the gesture is rudely brushed aside citing the Nut’s inability to sing.

I have no recollection of this night and I am curious as hell as to how this played out. And that’s why ladies and gentlemen you must never leave posts in drafts! Or at least complete it dammit 

And the above is the wisdom I leave you with tonight. 

Modern India – really?

So there is this colleague of mine – let me just call her PR. PR is a doll! A beautiful, smart girl, well-educated – done her MBA from one of India’s top B schools. Her Dad works as one of the top officials in one of India’s most respected government organizations. He has worked his way up, to be one of the top officials. She speaks highly of her father who despite belonging to an SC caste never used the reservation or allowed his daughters to use it. They have had to work their way to whatever they have done in life

PR is dating this mallu Nair boy – a nice boy am sure -nothing great in the looks department,educated less than her, happens to work abroad. His dad used to work in the gulf and came back to settle in Kerala.

His parents are dead against their marriage – their first reason being that she was an SC!!!
They then think that her dad should give them dowry – coz their son isn’t easily available on “sale” or something to that effect.

When she told me about the dowry bit, i was disgusted and asked her if this guy was worth it. I mean even if your parents are demanding dowry – dont u as a man in love with this girl have the guts to tell them this is wrong! Why are you communicating it to her? Because apparently the boy thinks it’s ok!

What shocked me even more – while PR wasn’t thrilled, she was ok with a certain amount of dowry being given. because in her side, if she had an arranged marriage, dowry is a pre-requisite.

Is it me? Am i too naive or idealistic? Do i live in a palace of illusions?

-> I would have thought her dad would say – I will never give dowry for my daughters! They are educated and capable of earning for themselves and hopefully will do so in tandem with their partners. let the couple make a life for themselves.
-> I would have thought she would have told the guy and his family to buzz off
-> I would have at least expected a lot more outrage from PR – am i good enough for you only with a couple of lakhs accompanying me?
-> I would have thought that in this day and age – caste would not matter especially when the girl is educated and of a similar if not better background than yours

Is modern-day India just a facade?

Is our old thought process just buried below this farce of moderness we claim to have?

What does it feel to grow up knowing that you will be acceptable to a man/his family if u come accompanied with the acceptable amount of money ?

And caste – how can it still matter?

Are we just a handful of us – whose parents would never ever even think of paying dowry for us. My mom as a kid used to always joke that she would ask for dowry from anyone who wanted to marry me!

This saddens me – this India which breaks my notion of dowry, caste etc not being an urbane educated class issue.

Bed time stories

So the husband is sleeping and feels cold at night.
Solution: Drag the cover off the nut!
so what if his cover is lying prettily folded at his feet

***************************************************
When we first got married the Tall one was averse to any form of human contact while sleeping. Not even the little finger of the Nut could enter his space, lest the sleep of the Giant be disturbed.The Nut on the other hand would have loved to snuggle up to the human being she married.

Being a sacrifising pativrata Nut agrees to this lack of contact

Come 2011 – the Tall one can’t sleep. He thinks snuggling up will help.
The Nut kicks him off – she can’t sleep if a little finger enters her space.
He has created a monster! Or have i created a monster.