Category Archives: Cribby Nut

Hmmmmph – day 2/30

My initial thought was to have a post with some deep thoughts 😀 in it. However, I have been annoyed and irritated for most of the evening. 

All I can think of is smart retorts to make the person see what an idiot they are behaving like. In my head – I have had at least a 100 conversations with the lady where ofcourse I am the cool and collected person and she comes off as being the illogical woman she is. Hmmmmph!

My irritation reflects in my cooking with my white sauce for the pasta being lumpy and my potatoes refusing to bake.

I want to be able to not let myself get rattled.

I want to be above all of this. 

I hate the amount of mindspace I am giving a person who is a nonentity in my life.

Being an adult sucks, my son would have resolved such an issue with a whine or a complaint to the parent of the offending party, a whack or a tantrum. And with that he would feel better.

But here as an adult, I got to suck it up. 

Or do I now?

The doorbell rings and the tall one walks in.

Within 10 mins I have told him everything. I have whined cribbed and presented my case. The man listens patiently and says a couple of sentences. And i mean a couple of sentences

In a bit – the angry cloud rises from my head, I can laugh at him pulling his moms leg, even my potato bake seems like it might be edible.

Everything in the world seems a little better and big boss comes on. Time to watch other people have problems now 

Jai Nuttie Mata ki! 

Oh good! Now you can spend time with the elf.

What made you leave your job now? After he is 3 years old.

Don’t you feel it is so much better for the elf that you quit your job?

If you were the random aunty or those “holier than thou human beings” I would smile and say yes. While I seethe inside. Do people really think that a mother would do something which is not good for their kid as they are implying me going to work was. Do they really mean to imply that I was being selfish because I chose to work over staying at home. 

How do I explain to them that I am not a bad mother nor do I love my kid less  because I felt no guilt at going to work. Don’t get me wrong, I had my days of guilt, my days of wondering If it was all worth it – but on an average I was happy! 

I don’t believe in living in guilt. I have always maintained that the elf was my priority and the day I felt that the elf was suffering or I was suffering because I went to work I would give it up.

I don’t believe the elf is better off or worse off because I worked for the first three years of his life. Online you will find all the pros and cons to working mothers. So I am not going to elaborate. 

Coming back to me – No, I didn’t quit out of guilt. I didn’t have a eureka moment 3 years later that I horror or horrors sent my kid to a daycare. 

I quit for me.

I reached a point where the next steps in my career in the banking sector didn’t ignite a passion in me. I felt empty. I felt I needed to do more for my soul. 

Sure being at home would make things logistically much easier because the elf had started school but that wasn’t my primary reason. 

The main reason I quit was me.

In India, for a woman the word ‘me’ is taboo – you always quit because of marriage or kids or parents or because your husband changed locations. 

But imagine a mother saying she chose not to work to find herself . 

Quitting for yourself is tough to explain. It’s tough to tell people that today if I find something I am truly passionate about I would go back to working. Sure I will look for more flexibility because I wanted to spend more time with the elf but yes I want to go back into the workforce. 

I have realised I can’t explain myself.i explain myself to the ones that matter. I think they see my view point. But to the rest of the world I am ok being the “good mother”

Beta good thing you quit. See elf is more friendly now –

Yes Aunty – all for him!

Now everyone say Jai Nuttie Mata ki! 

(Loosely translated to All hail mother nuttie) 

U is for Ullu

I am an Ullu  – for my non Hindi readers Ullu is an owl! 

Say hello Finland, Russia and Mauritius and oh you from Australia too. I see you !! 

Of all the talents the Ullu has – the one I wanted the most is the ability to swivel my neck 360 degrees. Just imagine what fun I would have if I was standing in a bus and someone got too close, I could just turn 180 degrees and stare at them right back! How freaky and how cool would I be.

Anyway, instead of that my only ullu-ness ability is being a nocturnal animal. It’s ridiculous !  

I really really want to sleep early. Yo know be those ideal early to bed and early to rise types – the ones who have a high pony tail at 6 am and are all ready to run. Instead I go to sleep when most of these enthu cutlets are waking up.

Don’t think I am not aware of the conspiracy theory. The world is keeping me up to ensure the safety of the world. You know make sure it is spinning on its axis the right way or make sure the ghosts are staying in their own universe. And as a responsible citizen I stay up. So as the world sleeps I do night chowkidari (night watchman). 

The husband will not let me read before I sleep because apparently the light affects his precious sleep. The elf makes the afternoon conducive to mama taking a short 15 min nap so that she won’t sleep early again. This is the time when he raids the fridge for chocolates or pours out all our lotions into the sink.

And you tv programming people, I spend the whole day wondering what to watch on tv – how the hell do I find stuff after 11 so exciting. Why are you doing this to me.

And mr jobs – smart phone huh? I am on to your sneakiness. And yours to fb, Twitter and Whatsapp creators. And all you iPhone game creators.

Aaand ooooh my friends who so cunningly have placed themselves all over the globe so there is a constant chatter on Whatsapp whatever be the time.

The Atozchallenge creators – hmmmmph! And to all of you who influenced me to start this – hmmmmph and hmmmmph. Wait till May when I will sleep early once this is done. Someone else can look after the world between 11 to 330 then. 

This is my entry for U in the April  Atoz challenge and i am officially losing it.