Tag Archives: Love

Goodbye my darling …

Dear Peter Petrosky Bob,

You were the pet  I reluctantly agreed to. I thought getting you as a return gift was way too much responsibility. I looked at how to barter you away at the party itself. But the elf was having nothing of it. He wanted a fish if all his friends got to take home one.

At first I thought that fish were boring – I felt guilty, icky to change your water. But as time went by, you fascinated me.

I loved how your body changed from pure white to black, to the beautiful colour you were. You were my magical fish. My pride – no one else had a fish which changed colour. It amused me how when you saw the tall one you would get all excited knowing he would feed you. If fish ever did a happy dance this was it. 

You tolerated the elf tap tapping and all the excitement the elf showed dancing around you during your water change. 

I often said that you were the only one of my  boys who listened to me. Every time I spoke to you, you came to the top of your bowl to blow me kisses. Every time I sang “hello hello” you came up and told me you love me. 

Even today as you struggled at the bottom of the bowl – you came up to speak to me when you heard my voice – I will be forever touched that you tried so hard. I will miss your puckered lips, your sexy pout, your little black eyes. 

It was miserable to watch you suffer helplessly for the last few days and for that I am glad you are in a better place. 

But now as you lie still at the bottom of your bowl, I keep glancing at the bowl and not seeing you swim around breaks my heart.

Thank you Peter Petrosky Bob for the memories and for teaching my kid and us to love a little more. 

Forever my Petu Singh! Muah!

Cheat day -3/30

So I am totally cheating here – I can’t think of a single thing to blog about – zilch, nothing, nada – you get the drift. So I go into my drafts for inspiration and I find this from 2292 days ago. – more than 6 years ago!!!

The Nut tip toes into the bedroom at 2 am very quietly. The Tall one has an early morning flight and if woken up might just eat up the Nut’s pretty toes!

She draws the curtains, brushes her teeth, switches off the light almost tip toeing – scared that she might never use her toes again…and lies down in bed only to hear

in a very whiny tone – “Babyyy i am not asleep…what to do?”

The Nut patiently – “Oh ho baby…what happened – are u feeling hot”

The Tall One thinks and answers – “yaaaa that’s the problem”

The Nut reluctantly and patiently opens the window – deals with the curtains and hurricane breeze and lies down again

It starts pouring and the water comes into the room.

Babyyyy – can u shut the window – i am feeling cold now and my feet are getting wet (Really? Tall one…i am the one who sleeps near the window hunny…if ur feet are wet…mine have been washed off)

The Tall One trashes around in the bed in search of the perfect pose which will please the sleep god…knocking the nut the first time, pulling her hair the second time, kicking her leg the next time…and the Nut she holds her peace! (Bleddy morning flight pity)

The nut volunteers to sing “Rockabye baby” – the gesture is rudely brushed aside citing the Nut’s inability to sing.

I have no recollection of this night and I am curious as hell as to how this played out. And that’s why ladies and gentlemen you must never leave posts in drafts! Or at least complete it dammit 

And the above is the wisdom I leave you with tonight. 

Hmmmmph – day 2/30

My initial thought was to have a post with some deep thoughts 😀 in it. However, I have been annoyed and irritated for most of the evening. 

All I can think of is smart retorts to make the person see what an idiot they are behaving like. In my head – I have had at least a 100 conversations with the lady where ofcourse I am the cool and collected person and she comes off as being the illogical woman she is. Hmmmmph!

My irritation reflects in my cooking with my white sauce for the pasta being lumpy and my potatoes refusing to bake.

I want to be able to not let myself get rattled.

I want to be above all of this. 

I hate the amount of mindspace I am giving a person who is a nonentity in my life.

Being an adult sucks, my son would have resolved such an issue with a whine or a complaint to the parent of the offending party, a whack or a tantrum. And with that he would feel better.

But here as an adult, I got to suck it up. 

Or do I now?

The doorbell rings and the tall one walks in.

Within 10 mins I have told him everything. I have whined cribbed and presented my case. The man listens patiently and says a couple of sentences. And i mean a couple of sentences

In a bit – the angry cloud rises from my head, I can laugh at him pulling his moms leg, even my potato bake seems like it might be edible.

Everything in the world seems a little better and big boss comes on. Time to watch other people have problems now 

Forever etched in my heart – Day 1/30

When I started blogging, I did it because I wanted to record my life. For sometime I did it pretty religiously too. But somewhere down the line I realised that while I can crib about my life, make fun of myself and the ones I love, write a couple of senti letters – I find it difficult to write about the little moments that fill my heart.

The first time I stopped blogging was when the elf was born – I never found the words rather I didn’t want to find the words to express what I feel for him. It was a private moment to be savoured by me and that was recorded in my heart forever.

When Swathi forced, I mean suggested that we do a blogathon, my first thought was to write about the amazing Diwali I had – the warmth of friends and family, the pang of missing some family, the traditions I was passing on to my son, the joy of cooking favourite foods of family and friends, the fun of dressing up and all the gratefulness I feel for everything. 

But like always I don’t find the words to do it justice.

Just a heart which feels all warm and loved. For everything I dislike about organised religion, I love how it still binds us irrespective of our beliefs. So I am grateful for that and glad we persist in some traditions.h

The Elfdom at 11 weeks

Hi Y’all,

So i will be 11 weeks old today at 1710 hours and other than the fact that i have arrived you know nothing about me – the Elf – king of Elfdom (Kingdom – Elfdom u see!). The subjects of the Elfdom aim to please me, it’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it!

Anyway, about me

1. When i was born, the subjects were seen giggling away at this particular “old man disapproving look” i had pretty much mastered. Though the mother often shivered at the admonishment and wondered if the reason for the look was her parenting skills or the huge amounts of food which she seemed to keep gulping down. The parents think that the loss of that look is due to improved parenting skills – Bah! It’s just these cheeks i now have, the have taken away my mature (read old man) look and brought in a baby look!

2. Apparently they (the grandmothers) say i am a delight in the “feeding” department. The mother sometimes in moments of anguish is seen asking the father to sell the car and park a cow in the parking lot! Do you know i pay tax in order to get my food. The mother has started this tax system of showering me with kissies before she lets any morsel go down my throat and should i take a break in between, kissies are showered again. Mama – boys don’t like kissies ok??? What abt my macho image?

3. The mother was thrilled when I gave my first hi-fi at 7 weeks and now i am made to perform for all & sundry. I think I should start charging these subjects for all the performances that me as a king has to give. In addition i can also spread my hands out wide and show “How much does mamma, dadu, etc etc love me”.

4. So playtime with the mama is sitting on her legs and making her repeat “Owwww’s” , “umm’s” and “Aaaah” and for variety “go, ga,coo, ooh’s” after me. She sometimes has to sing and despite dadu muttering something about her being besura’s, i quite enjoy it. I bestow smiles on this disciple on mine and often her eyes mist up at my smiles (Women! i tell you).

The father on the other day is entertained by not allowing him to sit. We explore the house, while he sings, dances and talks to me. Sometimes i pretend to be asleep and of course the second, he sits down i open my eyes and the whole routine starts again. Great fun i say!

5. OOOh and my walks – i sit on my throne and one or both subjects take me around the complex. For sometime, i look at the wonders of the world and then fall plonk asleep. I have loads of little girls trying to get a piece of me – but the mother she wards them off with he is too small/asleep/ and blah blah. She says something about less immunity but i believe she is just jealous of other women in my life!

6. Did you know i know how to box?? Am just waiting for a steady head and the ability to walk before i take on the Olympics. I box and jab pretty hard. How do i knows it’s hard you ask? Well i often send random jabs my way (of course i howl, i am a baby after all) and once i even had a black eye from a box i administered me. It’s tough being a baby you know!

7. Some of you know my mommy as a drama queen. I can tell you i am her Son…i am well on my way to becoming a drama king. When i am in company, even if i have fed like 10 secs ago, i will pretend to be really hungry – starving types, root at the said person and make sad faces, making ppl tell my mommy “He is ‘really’ hungry”. I don’t know if i imagine that murderous look she gives me. And oh i do it to the dadu too. If mommy walks into the room, i pretend that dadu has been ignoring my pleas for milk and bringing on a full-scale yelling which has mommy look at dadu accusingly. Good fun i tell you! p.s. i can even sprout some tears now for full impact!

So in the last 11 weeks, i outgrew a set of nappies, plan to outgrow a couple of the jablas i wear. My mommy keeps muttering my baby growing up and of bringing sprouting tears. Uff she is quite a waterfall i tell you. I lost some hair and grew it back and now there is some moaning about how my curls don’t sit down when combed. I have graduated to little laughs and can hold a rattle. I definitely recognize the slaves in my elfdom. I have taken 2 flights and been an angel. I go to visit my dadi next week so another one of those aeroplane things.

Basically, the subjects in my elfdom pretty much adore their king. I keep them entertained and on their feet.

I am their joy and delight and they can’t raving and are pretty amazed at their ability of making such a cute baby!

You may have guessed, the mother grabbed the laptop for the last line…Baahh!!!! ok i gotta go and ensure that my subjects are toeing the elfdom’s lines! Being a baby is busy work!

Tada!

Dear little one

Dear baby,

For the past month, we have been in Bangalore and now it’s time to go back.

You have been fawned over and adored by your ammamma and great grand parents. Ammamma’s special baths, muthashi’s one sided conversations, muthasha’s whistles are all part of your waking hours. You may not know this but while you sleep I often see then sitting by you and watching you sleep. You are one lucky baby! *thoo thoo *

You reciprocate and make their day with your coos and your smiles! You are their joy and delight !

And now I am taking you away! I know you may not realise what is happening but somewhere in that little baby heart there will be a space which misses his ammabmma’s cuddles, his mutuashi’s pettings and his muthasha’s adoring eyes.

And I am sorry baby for taking you away from this cacoon of love. We adults do these mean things like leave loved ones. I hope little one that while you hold a special place for them in your heart, your dad and I are able to create a similar environment where you feel loved, cherished and special as you deserve .

With guilt in my heart,
Lots of love
Mama

Letters to my future baby

Dear Future baby,

They say that parenting is all about tough decisions!

Should i be a strict or a lenient parent? Leave the kid free to be free as a bird or groom them into becoming the next Andre Agassi. Overly protect them from the world or let them face the big bad world? Most of the time it’s about walking a fine line between the various options that are thrown at you

When i look back, i wonder what your Ammamma-to-be’s style of parenting was. One of her closest friends thinks she was too strict when i was a child. As i grew up, while some parents would not let kids go off for out-of-town college festivals, she let me go. Strangely i never slotted her – i never thought of her as too strict or too much of a nag or too interfering or too lenient.

For me my mother meant means security.

Your ammamma-to-be always told me that “remember no matter what you do, i will be there.I may not approve but whenever you fall, i will be there to pull you out of the ditch”. And that for me is what my mother stands for – reassurance and my strength.

I have carried those words with me always. I may not share everything with her – but i know that when push comes to shove ‘mommy will make it ok’. I am approaching 30 and your ammamma-to-be was here for a couple of weeks, i felt like i had a wonderful warm cozy blanket thrown over my life!

And that is what i want to pass onto you – Remember that no matter what your Dad and i will be there. Whenever you need us!

So baby-to-be, My only hope is that we can one day make you feel as secure about yourself, your decisions and your life as my mother made me feel!

Lots of love
The nut!

Disclaimer – I don’t guarantee we will make all the right decisions – but maybe by the time you come around, they will introduce a responsibility giving, parenting skill giving, wise making pill which we can pop

On an aside note
When i hear about kids committing suicide, i wonder if they didn’t know that their parents were the people who they could fall back on.