Category Archives: Life on a sabbatical

Jai Nuttie Mata ki! 

Oh good! Now you can spend time with the elf.

What made you leave your job now? After he is 3 years old.

Don’t you feel it is so much better for the elf that you quit your job?

If you were the random aunty or those “holier than thou human beings” I would smile and say yes. While I seethe inside. Do people really think that a mother would do something which is not good for their kid as they are implying me going to work was. Do they really mean to imply that I was being selfish because I chose to work over staying at home. 

How do I explain to them that I am not a bad mother nor do I love my kid less  because I felt no guilt at going to work. Don’t get me wrong, I had my days of guilt, my days of wondering If it was all worth it – but on an average I was happy! 

I don’t believe in living in guilt. I have always maintained that the elf was my priority and the day I felt that the elf was suffering or I was suffering because I went to work I would give it up.

I don’t believe the elf is better off or worse off because I worked for the first three years of his life. Online you will find all the pros and cons to working mothers. So I am not going to elaborate. 

Coming back to me – No, I didn’t quit out of guilt. I didn’t have a eureka moment 3 years later that I horror or horrors sent my kid to a daycare. 

I quit for me.

I reached a point where the next steps in my career in the banking sector didn’t ignite a passion in me. I felt empty. I felt I needed to do more for my soul. 

Sure being at home would make things logistically much easier because the elf had started school but that wasn’t my primary reason. 

The main reason I quit was me.

In India, for a woman the word ‘me’ is taboo – you always quit because of marriage or kids or parents or because your husband changed locations. 

But imagine a mother saying she chose not to work to find herself . 

Quitting for yourself is tough to explain. It’s tough to tell people that today if I find something I am truly passionate about I would go back to working. Sure I will look for more flexibility because I wanted to spend more time with the elf but yes I want to go back into the workforce. 

I have realised I can’t explain myself.i explain myself to the ones that matter. I think they see my view point. But to the rest of the world I am ok being the “good mother”

Beta good thing you quit. See elf is more friendly now –

Yes Aunty – all for him!

Now everyone say Jai Nuttie Mata ki! 

(Loosely translated to All hail mother nuttie) 

Z is for Z z z z

I fear that after this blogathon I have nothing left to write about and my blog is going to zzzzzz again. 

Think about it logically – In the six odd years, this blog has been in existence I have written 102 posts until mar-16. And then I go ahead and write 26 posts in less than 26 days. Since I started the blogathon 6 days late I sometimes wrote 2 posts a day. Do you really really believe statistically I have anything more to say?

But I have to admit that the blogathon has revived my love for blogging. I realise how much I missed the blog world. And silly as it sounds I feel accomplished that I managed to finish the challenge. 

In my head, I do plan to be more regular but really what more do I have to say? I have spoken about books, elf, places, friends, and a whole lot of other crap. Also I don’t know what I mean by regular either – does it mean weekly, monthly, bi-monthly? I know I can’t do daily!!!

Anyhow that’s in the future. For now I am going to zzzzz on those questions. 

Thank you guys for reading and commenting. Of course the most encouragement come from those also doing the blogathon with me. Thank you, I did it because you did it.

This is my entry for z in the Atozchallenge for April. It’s been fun! 

H is for holidays

So on 28th of March my house was stuck by an earthquake and on 29th by a tornado and the subsequent jolts, quivers and speedy breezes have continued since. I am surprised that the walls in my house are brave enough to stand.

The floor has given up and understands that its existence is going to be dotted by 32 small hot wheels cars and innumerable others cars and vehicles of different shapes and sizes.

My feet understand that until June every time it takes a step, a Lego will attempt to pierce right through my foot.

My sofas have put on a brave face and steadied their springs to the incessant jumping!

The artifacts around the house quiver when ‘
the whoosh of a ball passes them.

My fridge groans in despair after it has been opened for the 10563th time in the day.

My lap and nose and various body parts wonder in silence where they will live to see my 35th year of existence

As I walk around my house, I feel their accusingly looks and if they could talk they would say

Why nuttie why?!!

Sure every school has holidays but haven’t you heard of summer camps. Every Meena, Teena and Ameena is sending their kids to advance the kids skills while the mothers maintain their sanity. What bravery medal were you aspiring for when you decide your kid should be free during summer holidays. You wanted him to be able to do as he pleases during his holidays just like you did as a kid. Unstructured play it seems. Pfft…imagination some more pfft,

I take a deep breath and tell them only 7 weeks more.

I hear the low hum of chanting/praying and beseeching to the Gods while I walk away!

this is part of the Atozchallenge – unofficially of course and this is my entry for h

E is for enough!

E is for enough wasting my time.

Social media is taking over my life and how.

Facebook was bad enough – snooping around people, reading random articles, checking out photos of people’s holidays and kids. But by and large Facebook is a happy place.

Whatsapp I see as a a necessary devil – I love that it keeps me in touch with so many old friends and new friends and hello how would I make all those plans 90% of which don’t materialise if not for Whatsapp.

And then suddenly into my life came Twitter – the worst of them all. I found myself arguing with random strangers. Most of them way too opinionated and just so unpleasant.

I was having an argument today with some members of male activists group who have managed to make me oh so feminists. And they are extremely rude and a lot of them are openly misogynist. It’s horrible ! Rebuttal after rebuttal.

So anyway just before my flight took off for Delhi – I posted another rebuttal to them. As the flight landed, I found myself getting anxious wondering how many of these MCP’s would have pounced on me in the last 3 hours. I switched on my phone and on a whim deleted the Twitter app.

Enough!!

Enough of listening to ppl ranting about everything, mocking people, abusing people, – what an unhappy sad sad place Twitter is with all its mini celebrities and their mega egos.

I can safely say that Twitter brings out the worst in us as human beings.

And for me as for now – enough is enough
My world is largely beautiful, I don’t need your negativity. So goodbye and adios !

I had a happier post planned but I am too tired and not in a mood for it.

This is part of the April AtoZchallenge

C is for Cinderella and chatter boxes

Ever imagine what it is like to be Cinderella – you know just when the prince comes to kiss you, the clock strikes 12.

Well every evening I feel like Cinderella except there is no prince or kiss, and there is no clock either. Just the complaining voice of a 4 year old.

So I have these bunch of friends whose kids are 3-4 years elder than mine, so their kids play independently and They get to hang around and play. I also have friends who my kid plays with and with either set of friends just when the conversation gets interesting my kid wants to go to the loo or change his place of playing or go home and so on .

And much like Cinderella I sadly have to leave. No kiss nothing.

But then again I am a genius and a chatterbox. And I have been dying to have a nice heart to heart conversation with someone whose age is not in single digits . So 2 of us took our kids to funky monkey – where the kids played for 1.5 hours without interruptions. After that we gave them lunch but we weren’t done yet and the kids seemed to have evolved some game outside the play area . So we let them be – ignored them, ignored the looks we may or may not have got from other folks around and talked for another 1.5 hours .

With the travel time; we had actually managed close to 4.5 hours of talk time with barely any interruptions from our kids!!!

Talk about bliss!

This is part of the April Atozchallenge

B is for Book Clubs

Soon after I started my sabbatical ( yes yes that again), I very enthusiastically joined “meetup” and signed up for multiple clubs for people with similar interests. Right from entrepreneurial groups (yes yes one of my many plans which i am to work on) to trekking clubs to spiritual clubs. Most of them my enthusiasm for joining has gone and now i spend a lot of my time wondering what was i thinking when i joined them and wondering how to stop them from clogging my inbox.

In the midst of all that signing up, i apparently signed up for a couple of book clubs and as luck would have it, one of them was happening very soon – a ladies book club. Very tentatively, i went to meet these women. Not knowing, what kind of women I would be meeting – would they be far too intellectual for my tastes, what books would they read.

It was the first meeting of that book club –  4 of us who met then – Wow, i was like a founding member and all. Today we are a group of 13 woman – we feel its a great size. I have read books that I would never picked up on my own and enjoyed them, also read books and hated them, recommended and discussed my favorites. It has exposed me to so many authors I hadn’t heard of . The books are great, the discussions are lively,fun and intelligent.

You know as a stay at home person, I have met a lot of amazing women beating the stereo type of stay at home women that you usually hear about. But eventually we all have one thing in common – we are all mothers and our worlds are kind of similar.

So for me meeting these women from my book club was amazing – coz we are all so different from a young girl just out of her MBA institute to a yoga guru with elderly daughters, from single women to married women – from analyists to people studying for a PHD in english literature.

Its fascinating to see how books resonate differently with different people basis where they are in their lives. It’s interesting to talk about various aspects of our lives and I have loved to get to know them. The length of our discussions have gone up from an hour to 2 hours.

And As we come close to completing a year of being a “book club” , I want to thank these lovely ladies for that one awesome Sunday afternoon every month.

While I have always loved to read, I truly understand now how the love for books can bond you with complete strangers

They don’t know about this blog but maybe someday they will.

This is a part of the April #AtoZchallenge

A is for April and A brand new start

 

Phew back after so many months and i have to thank the AtoZchallenge for bringing me back here.

I am pretty sure you are all fed up of hearing that I am on a sabbatical, the point is the sabbatical happened, its been a year and I haven’t really  hit upon a great next step. Most of my ideas are still just ideas. But I do know that the thought of going back just doesn’t excite me. But i WAS scared – scared to move out of my comfort zone, scared that i would amount to nothing and do nothing productive with my life.

And I say Was because this is what happened…

Like in all good stories, when they are retold, the epiphany about what I needed to do next had a rather poetic setting – Goa! We were in Goa to celebrate my 30 something birthday and i got a tarot card reading done. I have to admit, i went rather skeptically to her. She didn’t ask me anything about myself but looking at my cards she said – that things were moving fast around me and I had  done something that had brought up a huge change in my life. She said that i COULD be on the path to something great but i am resisting it for comfort and that it was weighing me down. And fortunately/unfortunately it was my choice to whether i would chose to walk down the amazing path ahead you which would bring me a lot of personal peace.

As a step towards that, I put in my papers a couple of days at the organisation I worked for. I have resisted offers of part and flexitime working. This April, it would have been 10 years of working in the same organisation

10 years has seen me grow up from a young kid fumbling around to someone who was confident about my work coincidentally starting and ending my career with the same boss and the same team (with many changes in between), 10 years wherein a young girl wanting to the conquer the world has become a mother with dreams pretty different from the ones i started off with. I have a lot to thank the organisation for  – but it is time for me to move on – Move on and see what lies ahead. Scary unknown and exciting.

For a conformist – like me this is a big deal!

Like they say the beginning of the amazing race (another A) – the world is waiting for me.