We dont need no education!

As the gods said – “we dont need no education…i am a believer in god…and i dont need no education and that’s why i haven’t learnt one thing since i passed out from B-school 6 years ago…I wonder if i actually learnt there too.

I was am one of those “smart ones”…i didn’t do medicine, CA, engineering (one more year then doing commerce/arts)…coz of the number of years/time involved in studying…i went straight from college to B-school and signed a declaration of ‘The nut does not study no more” at the ripe old age of 22.

and suddenly comes the atheist Celestial Rays who insists that we need to learn more…

So while i tremble that the gods might strike me down…

Disclaimer Real education God…Saraswati maa…pls dont make my already deteriorating brain vanish from this earth…i need it to remember my way back home from this hell called work…which btw happened because of education which happened cause i prayed to u..just saying that’s all

Anyway so while i tremble that i might be upsetting too many gods with my motor mouth..this is what i would like to learn

1. Be a connoisseur of food…i regularly watch masterchef australia, hell’s kitchen and all the food shows and i would love to dole out those beauties. I would also love to be able to taste a cheese and identify it and know the names of all those herbs and generally have the Tall one wondering what he did right to have such a well satisfied tummy

2. I would love to conquer my fear of heights. I love to trek/hike but i am scared to because while i can find my way up the hill…it’s coming down the hill which becomes an issue and i stand on top of a hill until someone offers to ring a helicopter to air lift me.

3. Learn to put on make up – yes comfy i am cheating…isn’t cheating a part of education? no?? But yes it would be nice to know before hand that my eyeliner will follow the shape of my eyes and not resemble the Himalayas with sudden peaks, that my kajal will not make me look like i am regularly beaten up and given a black eye…and yes it would be nice to know what make up involves beyond lipsticks, eyeliner and kajal

4. Be an expert at some kind of sport – i have “played” a lot of sports…but my general laziness and inherent desire not to excel…has ensured i never became an expert…

5. Yoga….i am a new convert …i never believed in yoga and thought people just exaggerated it’s benefits…but i have been doing some amount of yoga in the last six months and i have to say…it feels good. At my abysmal levels of around 45 mins of yoga a week…i have felt a reduction in my sinus attacks, my lower back which used to feel stiff has now stopped declaring its existence.

6. Party organizer…I would love to throw interesting thematic parties and be the bestest hostest in this part of the Suez and that too…u know the ones with the right napkins and food and decor to suit the mood types.

Wow 3 out of the 6 are related to fitness…Yay me,but i guess it point 1 is what will eventually do me in

Sob…

Thanks CR…this was fun…i might actually decide to let my brain stop gathering moss

And you have not been tagged – do feel free to take it up

The one where u get to know a bit too much about me

So Nu tagged me and the whole world on this one and before i become delinquent on this like i have in the past (Chinkurli – u didn’t read this ok!)

As of now i have decided to be verbose about the tag and not answer in 1 word but seeing how long it…it might be quite a battle between whether my work bores me more or the tag irritates me more.

Ten how’s:

How did you get one of your scars? From an accident! A real one! As a kid i thought i should fight a mini van and proove my mettle – Not a good idea u see because scar became..and wonders the mini van escaped without a scratch! Thats when i learnt that size does matter!

How did you celebrate your last birthday? In Goa yipppeeee. I had a brilliant day just lying on the beach…the only flip side was the Tall one thought i meant it when i said – “my only gift is u get leave to goa”…the man didn’t even give me a chocolate….hmmmph…i can assure u he wont make the mistake again

How are you feeling at this moment? i am feeling like i am pulling my teeth – trying to find something witty to say for everything is not easy

How did your night go last night? Ahem i am very embarrased to say i spent the night watching “red swastik” on cable until 2! Ahem u can see old age is deteriorating my intellectual levels…i chose this over pretty james bond – pls dont stop reading my blog

How did you do in high school? well …i know u will all agree i was the model angelic child…and if u dont agree u r just jealous

How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? There is this concept called a shop, and there is this concept called selling clothes and then there is this concept called trying out…u get the drift

How often do you see your best friend(s)? As of now my bff cheeni is in mumbai …we meet often enough……and tomorrow we go on a girls night out in khandala…yay…hopefully she will give me fodder for another cheeni post

How much money did you spend last month? ummm…i can’t count more than 10 and i did spend more than 10

How old do you want to be when you get married? what i get to do it again…dances around in glee..

How old will you be at your next birthday? Not applicable i will still be young!

Nine what’s:

1. Your mothers name? haink??? really?? her name is mama –

2. What did you do last weekend? so much fun – i watched inception, went to the comedy store in mumbai (which is fantastic btw) and i found a waterfall 10 mins away from my house – in the middle of mumbai

3. What is the most important part of your life? wont tell – u will copy

4. What would you rather be doing? i would rather be a person whose job is to be on permanent holiday

5. What did you last cry over? ummm..when i said bye to the grannies while leaving b’lore
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? a hug or food whichever comes first and please no lectures on emotional eating…
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? to be a little silly in the head and believe i am the best thing that happened to him – sorry Tall one your secret is out
8. What are you worried about? if u regularly read my blog u would know – my superb boss going on sabatical and leaving me with the evil boss
9. What did you have for breakfast? this tag is making me loose my memory..

Eight you’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? COME ON – are v in pre-kg

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? Sigh
3. Have you ever been out of the country? What is ur problem dude???
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? short and sweet – this tag
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? of couse…but i use medicream while cleared away the stab marks
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach? this is india – we DO NOT publically discuss sex
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? Yes!!! yess!!! good fun – try it out
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? of course

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw? the tall one
2. Who was the last person you texted? the mother
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? the Tall one, cheeni and her husband
4. Who was the last person to call you? my mom

as u can see i am bored…now it’s onto one word answers
5. Who did you last hug? my tallu baba
6. Who is the last person who texted you? Friend…awesome joke that was Nu – same as u…what jobless friends we have
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? in the words of revs- shy is coming

Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live? 15 kilos away
2. Where did you last go? Chennai – beautiful weather there btw
3. Where did you last hang out? “Cafe goa” – fantastic place in Bandra – Mumbai seafood lovers are u listening
4. Where do you go to school? Like a million places and i am 2 bored to list them,…p.s. get a life
5. Where is your favorite place to be? my imagination
6. Where did you sleep last night? Apparently i slept on a bed but the tall one took up so much place it felt like i was hanging in the air!

Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you? come on…
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? can i be a thin fit me…is that someone else
3. Do you know the muffin man? there is a muffin man…where where
4. Does the future scare you? The person who made this tag has lost it…p.s. if u made it and are reading…i didn’t mean just acting cool n all
5. Do your parents know about your blog? nope

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? because of this and this
2. Why did you get into Blogging? to help me understand me…now i know it’s a lot more
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? coz they didn’t give me the name u have
4. Why are you doing this survey? i am asking myself the same question

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be? extremely high rate of metabolism
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? of course
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? Tall One…he will bring everything else

Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? Ummm..there is a reason they are ex…
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Of course – without a thought

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now? well it’s friday hunny…i am thrilled one more working life week is over

And while Nu tagged 95% of my friends – i will do so too…so take it up comfy, di, swaram, piyu, celestial rays, revs, Smartie bride, Z, ajay, t, SnS, chinkurli, meira, maverick, Whiney mom/blue mist (where r u btw), Nehuuuuuuuu (dont throw ur laptop at me), my new friends varsha and Telegu mom, pins and ummm if anyone else does come here and wants to do an extremely long tag…be my guest

Man…i feel like a woman

So piyu and pinooo have tagged me on this one…and before i am the last one in the blog world to do it, i shall take it up. This one is for the man in me…that which makes me the woman i am!

I think i started off life as a girly girl…i loved frilly pink frocks, apparently i sat like a lady and no i didn’t roll in the mud or play with “those boys”. i didn;t like boys, they scared me – i played girly games, i read Nancy Drew’s and never the Hardy Boys…

But as luck would have it the coy, delicate, soft spoken, mummyji’s dream bahu potential girl into …ummm ME!

So me Y chromosomes make me do/feel the below:

1. I don’t think i got a “New life” when i got married. I love being married and love having the Tall One around – but no i didn’t change my entire set of clothes post marriage, the Tall One is sent many a time to work without breakfast, i dont sacrifice television, i dont manage his clothes or cupboard nor do i act like a wingless angel in my sasural…in fact my ma in law gives me morning coffee at my sasural and made my first sweet for me…i just came and shook the spoon around for 20 secs…

2. I dont like shopping …there i said it, u can shoot me…dont find it theraupatic…i love shoes and bags..and have my bouts of splurging but shopping doesn’t thrill my existence at all

3. i dont follow the CTM routine every night…What u dont know the cleansing toning and moisturizing ur face…i wash my face and sleep…i forget to wear sun screen on most days and have lipstick/gloss on for precisely 5 mins in the dya…my eyeliner is usually smudged …i have century old lipstick and dont know the difference between foundation and rouge and …u get the drift!

4. I CAN PIG OUT At buffet…i can beat most men hands down by the amount i can put away and i am not Shy about enjoying my food

5. I have arts&crafts deficiency – i cant sing, draw, paint, stitch, knit or doing anything remotely creative with my hands…Hell i can’t even remove a stain from a white shirt or clean a spilt glass of milk without creating more of a mess (Thankfully the Tall One is fultu equipped in the cleaning department !)

6. Ummmm another shoot me…babies…i like them and can play with them for sometime -meaning 15 mins on an average …depending on mine and the baby’s mood…but no i can’t carry a baby around on my hip (All u mother’s out there…kudos coz babies are heavy!!!).

7. I am strong…i was the only girl in my school who could hit the volley ball over the net in a serve..i can beat up rowdy men and have fairly competitive kushti bouts with the Tall One (he is a big made 6″2 giant – mind u)

8. i spill/drop while eating 😦 and its the bane of my existence…high dependency on the spouse to aid in the cleaning process

9. i know loads of cricketing statistics – highest score, that match in 1997,average wickets taken …i am quite a pro…and now i have hopped onto the football bandwagon…4 years from now by the next world cup…i know i will be just as adept!

10. Now apparently this qualifies too…i have a messy cupboard…

And yeah …Man, i feel like a woman! Shania Twain Zindabad

And Oh before u people think i have enrolled for the witness protection plan again let me tell u that i am off on chutti to Bengaluru to spend time with my family. Am unlikely to have too much access to the net but will be back with more to write about (hopefully)

Oh and i tag ….ummm…well the whole world and their blogging sister has been tagged…so to u who read this and feel like taking it up.