Let go…

Do you ever wonder when you look at someone whether this will be the last time you will see them? Do you try and capture in your mind what their hands look like, their toes and what their hugs feel like? I worry that I will forget the scent of the person when they pass on.

You might catch glimpses of their features in photos but their smell will go away won’t it? Somewhere into the universe. Will you be sitting in your balcony one day and suddenly get their whiff and feel your heart so full from pain and joy? 

Would you beat yourself over all the things you haven’t done for the person? Would you regret the day who didn’t join them in their walk because you didn’t feel like?

Are you torn between being selfish and wanting them around for you but not wanting them to suffer and not wanting to watch them suffer?

I read a story about a set of twins during the holocaust maybe about 10 years old. They were sewn together by the evil doctor to resemble Siamese twins. They apparently were in a lot of pain and used to scream a lot – their mother overdosed them on morphine to kill them and relieve their pain. 

Do you wonder if put in a horrible situation of any kind you hang on to hope of things getting better or just want to escape the misery.I read stories of the survivors of the holocaust and how some of them went ahead and had a full life. Maybe some of them would feel that living through that torture was worth how their life turned out? 

But that’s the thing about life isn’t it? We can’t sit and brood – because then it is a downward spiral. The world will just look darker and darker. 

We need to believe in hope, be resilient about today and revel in the beautiful memories of the past. 

The past, the present and the future are yours to make your life beautiful. 

Let go of the negativity and regrets.. Just let go because it is your life to make beautiful …

I apologise for the morbid thoughts and all the mumbo jumbo that I have written but my mind is just full of this and I was hoping writing would clear my mind. 

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7 thoughts on “Let go…

  1. Truly Happy

    I do Nuttie, I do all those things you mentioned in your opening para. I fear for my loved ones. I cant help it.

    I hope writing has helped you clear your thoughts.

    Smile and Stay positive!

    Reply
      1. Truly Happy

        Not yet. I can’t understand where to start the packing from. Not much time left now. Mid July is when we plan to relocate nd it’s coming round faster than I think.

        Reply
        1. Nuttie Natters Post author

          I just did a major relocation all by myself. It was horrible. But honestly the best place is to start is to get rid of “junk” and I started with my kids toys. I spent a whole Sunday and was almost in tears

          Reply
  2. Through The Looking Glass

    Every time the phone rings at an hour that’s unusual for it to ring with a call from home, a fresh spasm of anxiety courses through my veins. Only to be quelled by the perfectly normal and matter of fact voice I hear when I say hello……

    Reply
  3. Bikramjit

    and I hope writing it all has cleared it all … But I am sure we all have these thoughts .. As time goes Things start to clear up for sure …

    and Where are you LONG TIME 🙂

    Reply

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