Category Archives: Blah

Hmmmmph – day 2/30

My initial thought was to have a post with some deep thoughts 😀 in it. However, I have been annoyed and irritated for most of the evening. 

All I can think of is smart retorts to make the person see what an idiot they are behaving like. In my head – I have had at least a 100 conversations with the lady where ofcourse I am the cool and collected person and she comes off as being the illogical woman she is. Hmmmmph!

My irritation reflects in my cooking with my white sauce for the pasta being lumpy and my potatoes refusing to bake.

I want to be able to not let myself get rattled.

I want to be above all of this. 

I hate the amount of mindspace I am giving a person who is a nonentity in my life.

Being an adult sucks, my son would have resolved such an issue with a whine or a complaint to the parent of the offending party, a whack or a tantrum. And with that he would feel better.

But here as an adult, I got to suck it up. 

Or do I now?

The doorbell rings and the tall one walks in.

Within 10 mins I have told him everything. I have whined cribbed and presented my case. The man listens patiently and says a couple of sentences. And i mean a couple of sentences

In a bit – the angry cloud rises from my head, I can laugh at him pulling his moms leg, even my potato bake seems like it might be edible.

Everything in the world seems a little better and big boss comes on. Time to watch other people have problems now 

Let go…

Do you ever wonder when you look at someone whether this will be the last time you will see them? Do you try and capture in your mind what their hands look like, their toes and what their hugs feel like? I worry that I will forget the scent of the person when they pass on.

You might catch glimpses of their features in photos but their smell will go away won’t it? Somewhere into the universe. Will you be sitting in your balcony one day and suddenly get their whiff and feel your heart so full from pain and joy? 

Would you beat yourself over all the things you haven’t done for the person? Would you regret the day who didn’t join them in their walk because you didn’t feel like?

Are you torn between being selfish and wanting them around for you but not wanting them to suffer and not wanting to watch them suffer?

I read a story about a set of twins during the holocaust maybe about 10 years old. They were sewn together by the evil doctor to resemble Siamese twins. They apparently were in a lot of pain and used to scream a lot – their mother overdosed them on morphine to kill them and relieve their pain. 

Do you wonder if put in a horrible situation of any kind you hang on to hope of things getting better or just want to escape the misery.I read stories of the survivors of the holocaust and how some of them went ahead and had a full life. Maybe some of them would feel that living through that torture was worth how their life turned out? 

But that’s the thing about life isn’t it? We can’t sit and brood – because then it is a downward spiral. The world will just look darker and darker. 

We need to believe in hope, be resilient about today and revel in the beautiful memories of the past. 

The past, the present and the future are yours to make your life beautiful. 

Let go of the negativity and regrets.. Just let go because it is your life to make beautiful …

I apologise for the morbid thoughts and all the mumbo jumbo that I have written but my mind is just full of this and I was hoping writing would clear my mind. 

U is for Ullu

I am an Ullu  – for my non Hindi readers Ullu is an owl! 

Say hello Finland, Russia and Mauritius and oh you from Australia too. I see you !! 

Of all the talents the Ullu has – the one I wanted the most is the ability to swivel my neck 360 degrees. Just imagine what fun I would have if I was standing in a bus and someone got too close, I could just turn 180 degrees and stare at them right back! How freaky and how cool would I be.

Anyway, instead of that my only ullu-ness ability is being a nocturnal animal. It’s ridiculous !  

I really really want to sleep early. Yo know be those ideal early to bed and early to rise types – the ones who have a high pony tail at 6 am and are all ready to run. Instead I go to sleep when most of these enthu cutlets are waking up.

Don’t think I am not aware of the conspiracy theory. The world is keeping me up to ensure the safety of the world. You know make sure it is spinning on its axis the right way or make sure the ghosts are staying in their own universe. And as a responsible citizen I stay up. So as the world sleeps I do night chowkidari (night watchman). 

The husband will not let me read before I sleep because apparently the light affects his precious sleep. The elf makes the afternoon conducive to mama taking a short 15 min nap so that she won’t sleep early again. This is the time when he raids the fridge for chocolates or pours out all our lotions into the sink.

And you tv programming people, I spend the whole day wondering what to watch on tv – how the hell do I find stuff after 11 so exciting. Why are you doing this to me.

And mr jobs – smart phone huh? I am on to your sneakiness. And yours to fb, Twitter and Whatsapp creators. And all you iPhone game creators.

Aaand ooooh my friends who so cunningly have placed themselves all over the globe so there is a constant chatter on Whatsapp whatever be the time.

The Atozchallenge creators – hmmmmph! And to all of you who influenced me to start this – hmmmmph and hmmmmph. Wait till May when I will sleep early once this is done. Someone else can look after the world between 11 to 330 then. 

This is my entry for U in the April  Atoz challenge and i am officially losing it.