Tag Archives: Relationships

Randomness – Friendship etc etc

So the weekend that was deserves a mention – you decide whether it needs to be read or not. I just want to document this for me.

A very happy 3 days – a perfect end to the year and a perfect start to it too.

Friendly Friday – 30th Dec

We informed the evil boss that we were off from work at 2:30 and he just had to deal with it.

My BFF from my graduation P was in town – down from London. I don’t remember when i last met her – 2 years ago maybe. Both of us are “pathetic phone keeping in touchers” so we barely talk. But somehow when we meet, it’s like we are the same nut/p combination from college, no awkward silences, no u don’t call me, no why didn’t u meet me last time. I think this is just a lovely free free friendship we have!

Later that evening,we were to have a reunion of our MBA friends – i have to admit, i was not too keen calling them boring and all and i was mentioning that to a friend of mine who is also an MBA types and she mentioned how her batchmates were always trying to outdo one another with their job titles, square foot of flats etc.

And i realized nope these guys were not that like that.

i was just being stupid. Somewhere i have a lot of affection for most of my batchmates – i may not want to meet them on a daily basis but they were such an important part of my life for 2 years and will always have a piece of my heart

And boy am i glad i went – we had a blast. The guys got so “nicely high” (me i was the designate driver) -we talked of college crushes, pulled each others legs and it felt so good! I was made to tell the tale of a very non-existent “romantic” story of the Tall one and me!!

We meet again as a larger crowd sometime this month and i will look forward to it

And that was my Friday

SAturday – 31st Dec – While the world planned its party ways and clothes – we went to Khandala in our new car (oops did i just let that slip in) for lunch! Lunch done – we drove right back. Did i say “we”. Sorry the tall one drove back while i slept like there was no tomorrow.

We welcomed New years as grown ups do – ummm ok loosers do – watching Big Boss! A quick hug at 12 and our eyes were back on the TV.

But there was something nice to this – no drunkenness, no struggling for space, no searching for one another in a crowd. here we were just the 2 of us – pizza, garlic bread, and beer to add to the party!

Sunday – 1st Jan – Spoke to all and sundry in the family and then headed for some fantastic seafood! oooh, ooh and the highlight of my life i found a fish shop that delivers fresh fish home. Soo exciting!!! Sherlock Holmes and a hot coffee made my evening!

I can’t really remember what i did on Sunday evening but i am guessing the amnesia is because it must have been fairly dull!

When i read this post, i wonder what made this weekend feel so good – it was like most other weekends, yet it was not. 2012 you look promising don’t ya!

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Wisdom from the 20’s

Di’s‘s post on turning 29 inspired this. While it’s too late for me to make lists – considering i have just about 2 months before D-day! So i have made a list of my key learnings in the past decade!

I have learnt that

1. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Hate is just another form of love. Indifference helps you let go of pain and hurtful memories a lot faster

2. It’s ok to make mistakes at work. As a former boss once told me, making mistakes shows that you are actually attempting to work!!! yes he used the words attempting

3. However in the rest of your life’s decisions, there are no mistakes – there are no rights/wrongs. Every step you have taken is just a step into creating the person that you are today.

4. Ambitions change – As you grow up you realize you may never be the hot shoot career professional that you aspired to be – but it won’t matter.

5. It is possible to love without having any walls or inhibitions

6. You need girl friends – enough said!

7. You will make a lot of friends – the important ones will remain

8. Your body is growing old – take care of it

9. Spend time with your loved ones so that you have no regrets

10. A lot of your problems and issues are self created – don’t complicate other’s life and your own with your insecurities. i said a lot of your problems – not all

11. I used to think that to find bliss you needed some form of external stimuli – i have learnt that you can find bliss in solitude

12. Happiness or Sadness is what you choose to be!

20’s – i wonder if you still have some lessons for me before i sign off and join the very adult world of the “30’s”?

The candle burnt out long before…

The wind in your hair, life felt good, a new job awaited,
A young 21 year ready to take on the world.
A screeching halt, and the lights blacked out
Leaving us wondering —

Wondering why you didn’t use your common sense?
What force of nature would have caused things to be different?
Could we have done or said something to make it all different?
Why you?

In your last minutes, as you fell, did u think about your smiling mom,
Your little “character” of a brother, the practical father?

We are left wondering of a life that could have been,
and all are thoughts are peppered with if only’s and what if’s.

Last night The Tall One lost his first cousin in a car accident. A young 21 year who was to start working very soon.

His life cut short due to what can only be called a ‘stupid’ decision on his part. The kid would have never known that such stupidity can have such big repercussions. Youth makes u believe u are immortal.A rash decision leaving an indelible mark on the lives of his parents.

Kid – Find a place that gives u peace, find a way to comfort your parents, bring a smile back to your brother. We’ll miss u! We’ll think of the good times but we may never stop wondering why and what could have been. God bless!

Please pray for his parents and brother!

Judgement Day

I met SI last year in Kolkata – 13 years after we had passed out from school.Nothing seemed to have changed – she still stressed about exams (she was studying to be a doc), still laughed endlessly, still had that nervous undecided air about her, as ambitious as ever- proud to be a doctor. Her husband BI came along with her and they took me out for dinner. Over dinner, we told BI stories of our school days, we both teased SI about her nervousness before exams and her endless life of study.

I remember thinking about how many more years she had to study and was quite impressed with how supportive BI was. I remember mentally congratulating the modern Indian man. I remember thinking how sweet of him to accompany her across the city post working hours to visit a friend. I remember

Around a month ago, it was BI’s birthday and i went to his wall on FB to wish him and noticed that the wall had been made private, most of the pics in his album were just him. SI wasn’t a mutual friends.And then the bells rang. Something was not right.

I had noticed that Si changed her name to her maiden name in FB. her profile pic changed to one of her alone, her facebook status updates were philosophical. I mailed her knowing something was amiss. She wrote back saying that BI used to physically abuse her and she had left him!

I was shocked.! I always thought of myself as a good judge of character. Was i so wrong? Are looks really so deceptive.

The good part is SI has a career, supportive parents and will come out of this. And i am glad for that.

This post would have ended here except last night.

Bi went on an overdrive (yes, i forgot to unfriend him on FB), his wall become public and he talked about how someone close to him, had betrayed him despite his support. How people use so ambitious that relationships mean nothing, How people fool people with their so called love and how their so called guardians support them. How people don’t have a heart and have trampled on his and how he needed strength to come out of this.

Another classmate was online then who also had BI as a friend. She messaged me about this verbal overdrive and said “while i dont want to belittle what SI went through but do we know the whole story”. and i have to be honest while i was reading his updates, i felt the same thing.

This coming from good friends of SI – while we did finally come to the conclusion that such public level sympathy mongering reeked of guilt. For a second there we did doubt our friend…

Isn’t it ironic that the one who talks aloud and plays the sympathy card is always considered as the ‘wronged’ one? Silence ain’t always considered golden?
Or is an ambitious woman always going to be viewed as the vamp?

Worse still is facebook too powerful an engine?

In the past the wronged one could whine to a select few. But now FB has allowed him to wash his dirty linen to all of his 300+ friends – most of them will be passing judgement on a woman they dont know – Passing judegement on my friend – the tiny parcel who was friendly to me when i was the new girl in school, the one who had her nose in her books except when she was laughing aimlessly at the silliest of jokes, the butt of many jokes most of which she didn’t get, the one who was so passionate about being a doctor. The simple good hearted girl who just wanted to be in the top 3 and then become a doctor

Yes people’s opinion dont matter…but it still does matter – doesn’t it?

SI – we are in your corner! God bless!

Ramblings from a rickety old cab

As i sat in the cab last night, i was over whelmed by the number of lights from all the high rise building. So many people – strangers to one another.and me a tiny speck – something that doesn’t matter!

Took me back to a time, when i was working in Mumbai – thrilled to be posted back to this city i loved and studied in for seven long years. The hours i spent at Barista, watching people while reading, the walks along bandstand, the millions of books i read, hours of talking to the tall one, cheeni and my mom on the phone, the weekend partying didn’t help. I realized i was lonely – lonely in this city which i thought was mine – no good friends, no family – no one to go home to. I was quite relieved when i was sent back to Bangalore.

Yesterday – as i sat and watched thousands of people make their way home, many of whom would go home to an empty house – I felt humbled i have you.

You waiting for me, worrying about me getting stuck in traffic, advising me on the best way to get to you – Someone in this horde of people in Mumbai – for whom i am the centre of the universe (even if i say so myself)

Thank you sweetheart…for everything i say and most of all for all the things i don’t say! I couldn’t have got luckier!!

here’s wishing you the most fantastic year ahead and many many years of being agonized by me!

Happy Birthday!!

p.s. am off home for a week…so ciao people – will see u on the otherside πŸ™‚

7 year itch

It was seven years ago – they were going to pass out in a month. The farewell dinners had begun, the next week would be placements. Post which they would all step out in the big bad corporate world, go their own ways.

She remembered that night so clearly. It was a pleasant night – he looked so yummy cute in his red fabindia kurta. The night was jovial – lots of dancing, singing and laughing. Her heart skipped many beats, when he belted out Duur.

She looked so cute as she and her girl pals croaked out purani jeans. She really was a terrible singer, but the excitement in her voice while she sportingly sang on tugged his heart-strings.

That night she waited for him online – she wondered if she should just log off and sleep. She was really tired. She gave herself another 5 mins, and another and another. Finally he came online and after around an hour of the topic he said

So what would you say if i asked you out

She said: I think i would not say No

and that was how it was – no flowers, no fireworks going off, no undying declarations of love –

7 years on – There still are no declarations of love, no flowers and the only fireworks that go off are during diwali.

But we have grown up together into real adults, become best friends, laughed, cried, fought mostly over the remote, holidayed, supported each other’s in illness, careers,treks and more. We are comfortable with each other enough to say, do, wear whatever we want and know that the other person still loves you.

i dont have words to describe what we have but there aint no 7 year itch here baby!

p.s. I have scheduled this post at the exact time The Tall One asked me out.
I started off trying to make this a romantic story but after close to two hours of trying, i decided to tell it as it is

Hand in hand for the next 77 years

Hand in hand for the next 77 years

*Photo is the property of nuttie natters*

Detached

I am an easy friend to have – i don’t have too many expectations.

You don’t need to remember my birthday, i don’t want gifts.
You don’t need to call me or sms me on a regular basis
You don’t need to like my facebook photos or click multiple snaps with me.
You don’t have to be there for me in my tough times or put up with my moods
You don’t need to hear my cribs or my long-winded stories

I enjoy the heart to heart conversations. I enjoy having a friend in you.

But don’t push me my friend – I wont fight, i wont cry, i wont have talks justifying the same.
Coz when i detach myself, i just pull away completely.

p.s. the cloud has passed and itz all good πŸ™‚