Tag Archives: Questions

Do you hate work? Day 7

So when people say they hate work – what do you mean?

Do you mean you hate just the actual work or hate the environment or hate your boss or hate moments of your work.

For me I exaggerate when I say I hate work. I don’t – I remember going back to work after maternity leave and loving the fact that I could blissfully have a cup of coffee. (No baby crying pooping peeing or the bell ringing just when I settle down with my coffee.)

I love the social aspect of work – adult conversations , meeting people with similar thought processes, making friends with people who are different and a whole lot of people to just gossip about.

On some days I even enjoy my work. On some days I am even passionate about it.

And then there are days when all you want to do is escape from the routine of it all.

I oscillate between whether this is what I am meant to do or whether I have another calling in life? A bigger purpose maybe. Or maybe I am meant to be an just another corporate soul.

So do you hate your job? Or just feel dissonance coz you think you should be doing something else.

P.s

This is probably muddled, I am a little light headed after an awesome night out with my colleagues and for the moment I am just grateful for them and all the laughs we share.

Advertisements

The candle burnt out long before…

The wind in your hair, life felt good, a new job awaited,
A young 21 year ready to take on the world.
A screeching halt, and the lights blacked out
Leaving us wondering —

Wondering why you didn’t use your common sense?
What force of nature would have caused things to be different?
Could we have done or said something to make it all different?
Why you?

In your last minutes, as you fell, did u think about your smiling mom,
Your little “character” of a brother, the practical father?

We are left wondering of a life that could have been,
and all are thoughts are peppered with if only’s and what if’s.

Last night The Tall One lost his first cousin in a car accident. A young 21 year who was to start working very soon.

His life cut short due to what can only be called a ‘stupid’ decision on his part. The kid would have never known that such stupidity can have such big repercussions. Youth makes u believe u are immortal.A rash decision leaving an indelible mark on the lives of his parents.

Kid – Find a place that gives u peace, find a way to comfort your parents, bring a smile back to your brother. We’ll miss u! We’ll think of the good times but we may never stop wondering why and what could have been. God bless!

Please pray for his parents and brother!

Judgement Day

I met SI last year in Kolkata – 13 years after we had passed out from school.Nothing seemed to have changed – she still stressed about exams (she was studying to be a doc), still laughed endlessly, still had that nervous undecided air about her, as ambitious as ever- proud to be a doctor. Her husband BI came along with her and they took me out for dinner. Over dinner, we told BI stories of our school days, we both teased SI about her nervousness before exams and her endless life of study.

I remember thinking about how many more years she had to study and was quite impressed with how supportive BI was. I remember mentally congratulating the modern Indian man. I remember thinking how sweet of him to accompany her across the city post working hours to visit a friend. I remember

Around a month ago, it was BI’s birthday and i went to his wall on FB to wish him and noticed that the wall had been made private, most of the pics in his album were just him. SI wasn’t a mutual friends.And then the bells rang. Something was not right.

I had noticed that Si changed her name to her maiden name in FB. her profile pic changed to one of her alone, her facebook status updates were philosophical. I mailed her knowing something was amiss. She wrote back saying that BI used to physically abuse her and she had left him!

I was shocked.! I always thought of myself as a good judge of character. Was i so wrong? Are looks really so deceptive.

The good part is SI has a career, supportive parents and will come out of this. And i am glad for that.

This post would have ended here except last night.

Bi went on an overdrive (yes, i forgot to unfriend him on FB), his wall become public and he talked about how someone close to him, had betrayed him despite his support. How people use so ambitious that relationships mean nothing, How people fool people with their so called love and how their so called guardians support them. How people don’t have a heart and have trampled on his and how he needed strength to come out of this.

Another classmate was online then who also had BI as a friend. She messaged me about this verbal overdrive and said “while i dont want to belittle what SI went through but do we know the whole story”. and i have to be honest while i was reading his updates, i felt the same thing.

This coming from good friends of SI – while we did finally come to the conclusion that such public level sympathy mongering reeked of guilt. For a second there we did doubt our friend…

Isn’t it ironic that the one who talks aloud and plays the sympathy card is always considered as the ‘wronged’ one? Silence ain’t always considered golden?
Or is an ambitious woman always going to be viewed as the vamp?

Worse still is facebook too powerful an engine?

In the past the wronged one could whine to a select few. But now FB has allowed him to wash his dirty linen to all of his 300+ friends – most of them will be passing judgement on a woman they dont know – Passing judegement on my friend – the tiny parcel who was friendly to me when i was the new girl in school, the one who had her nose in her books except when she was laughing aimlessly at the silliest of jokes, the butt of many jokes most of which she didn’t get, the one who was so passionate about being a doctor. The simple good hearted girl who just wanted to be in the top 3 and then become a doctor

Yes people’s opinion dont matter…but it still does matter – doesn’t it?

SI – we are in your corner! God bless!

Winds of Change

I feel the winds of change,
I hope i am not wrong,
There is an optimism in the air,
or am i just hoping against hope?

My brain tells me not so soon,
My heart is not so sure,
My heart would like to believe
Or is just the rest of my being?

Are those signs
or is it my imagination?

Is it an escape,
or is the real thing
Escape from all that is mundane
But then again how do u define the real thing?

Can important decisions be spontaneous
Or has the thought always being there
Can your convictions change so soon
With no drastic happenings?

Why can’t i wait to know
I need a crystal ball
Uff i hate the wait

Come on winds of change,
A gust of wind or a light cool breeze,
Make me feel optimistic
Refresh me
Make me a new person
And Come On Now!

I read this – and it is unlikely to make sense but then again my blog my freedom

and to give u something other than my ridiculous garrulous post to comment on – let me add i complete exactly one year of blogging today.

Yay…i didn’t expect to survive!

Staying Alive

Prices of dals are soaring, fruits and vegetables follow suit, property is unaffordable – the value of everything seems to be heading north! Yet, there is one thing which i feel is loosing value – Life! And i am not talking about finer things like spirituality, living comfortably or work life balance – i am just talking about “Staying Alive”.

A couple of months ago, an acquaintance R was driving on the Munirka flyover in Delhi. A car behind him wanted to go ahead and R being a fairly aggressive driver himself (i am guessing) didn’t let the car overtake him. Post the flyover, when he did – the occupants of the other car got out of the car, stopped R and beat him up with an iron rod! Thankfully someone saw him and took him to a nearby hospital. The doctor pretty much said that if they had arrived later, he would have died or at least lost use of his leg. The poor man is now recovering from multiple surgeries and pretty much learning to walk again.

And for what?..Just coz a jackass thought his time was as precious as a person’s ability to walk or live!

Look at nooriya haveliwala and more recently Sushil Kotari. No – they didn’t intend to kill…but they did choose to be irresponsible. I do feel bad for them cause a lapse of judgement has caused them many years of dealing with the judicial system and a lifetime of guilt for snuffing out the life of a person. I dont even want to start thinking of the family they have cheated a loved one of. The pain and the “Why us” …

Most of us view the drinking and driving campaign as how to escape being caught. It’s thursday – they only check on weekends,they dont check on this road and promptly a person maybe “just a couple of pegs” gets behind the wheel. I hope the couple of pegs are worth the lifetime of guilt you might have to live with.

This careless attitude towards life scares me. There are times when i am driving and a two wheeler is acting all “Oh look at me” on and generally being a nuisance on the road and i think – he deserves to be knocked down…Does he now really?? Just for being an idiot should he be paralysed for life or worse?

I wonder if video games and all these X boxes games which are constantly about knocking things down or killing things are responsible for road rage and this urge to knock people down.

You hear of people being killed for some jewellery, inter-caste marriages or some other equally inane reason…Dont we get it …the person will die …his family will never see him again. And if u are someone who can’t think beyond your own nose…Think of yourself – there is a probability of being caught…and if u aren’t the fear of being caught will remain with u and if nothing else there will be some nights when u can’t sleep cause you have killed a human…a person for whom there is someone somewhere else who is unable to sleep coz they miss them.

A leopard never changes his spots!

The front page of today’s mumbai mirror talks about Dimpy Ganguly walking out of their house after a “night of domestic violence”…It’s sad that poor girl looks a shadow of her childlike self as seen in the show.

I am sure Rahul Mahajan’s PR is working overtime right now to prove that Dimpy did this for publicity and never really wanted to marry Rahul…Now while the couple along with the newspapers and columnists debate who is right and who is wrong, we will all be subject to another Shoeb, Ayesha, Sania scenario. Yikess!!!

But to get back to the point on domestic violence – as per a NHFS india report 33% of the women in India in the age group of 15-49 have faced some form of domestic violence. Another survey done in the US suggests that 42.8% of the women surveyed have faced some form of abuse or the other.

What’s scary is there is very high probability that at least one of the women around you is a victim of domestic violence. She is probably walking around with a smile on her face -but in her heart, she lives her life walking on egg shells, never knowing what is going to “inspire” the next slap.

Now i am no expert on domestic violence, i have seen it at close quarters but that doesn’t mean i understand what a victim goes thru…these are just my thoughts on the same.

There are some women for whom the decision seems seemingly tough – the ones who are economically dependent, have no parental support and are uneducated.

But one wonders why a women who is educated, self-sufficient and confident stays on…it seems easy enough to open the door and walk out …doesn’t it?

Until it happens to u…

None of us can claim to understand it…

She sometimes stays because of obvious reasons – social stigma, your children, parental pressure. It seems so unfair that these factors weigh more than her self-confidence, her dignity and more importantly her safety.

But at times, I think that at the core of it is the abuser. Once the anger has lived its life, the a** is likely to promise profusely, showering gifts (for additional impact might shed tears )that they dont know what came over them, this wont happen again and that they are trying real hard. TRYING??? How difficult is it to keep ur hand down u moron…tie up your hands with a rope to help u remember.

This is likely to make a lot of victims believe it’s not all bad, they look at the positive aspects in the guy and decide a drastic step is not required and they stay on…until the next time when the cycle of violence is repeated.

And that’s why it’s heartening when a 22 year old Dimpy walks out on an abusive marriage in 4 months and decides enough is enough. in the report do see she mentions that he is a nice guy

A marriage which everyone and their aunt had predicted was just for publicity. A marriage ear-marked to fail, which probably gave her many worldly pleasures including a super luxurious honeymoon, a union which took her away from being a wannabe model and made her a social butterfly. Walking out is going to yield her a lot of “Told u so’s” and “She’s doing it for publicity” but at least she can walk without fear.

As Tagore said – where the mind is without fear and the head is held high…

Walk away girl,don’t look back…coz a leopard never changes his spots and yes one slap is all it takes!

So what do u think…why do educated, self-sufficient women stay on in abusive relationships?

p.s. yes i know the whole Tagore poem and know only these 2 lines hold true.

p.s. edited to add as per the latest report…dimpy has gone back to the idiot at the insistence of her father…sigh

We the people

Today is supposed to be a historical day for the Indian Judicial history – Kasab’s sentencing – the fastest sentencing in the Indian Judicial system.

Yet i feel unconcerned! I look around me – my office has multiple’s TV on with news channels which proclaim “Kasab guilty on all 86 charges” – people around me continue with their work. No whoops of cheer, no debates on should he be given life imprisonment or death sentence – Nothing.

Yes, the papers are full of victims who want justice – the little 11 year old who was shot wants Kasab to be given death, Tukaram Omble’s daughter wants him publically hung, One of the wife’s of the cops who died feels that this is going to be a prolonged case like that of Afzal Guru- yes they still feel the pinch coz they were the real victims.

We, the non victims – We have moved on…

This from the city which rose with fury post 26/11. We couldn’t believe how people could just walk into our beloved city, walk into our hotels, stations, houses, roads and hospitals and just fire. We felt scared – we felt violated. Yes, We wanted Kasab hung, shot dead publically, we wanted a more responsible government, we wanted a change in politicians, we wanted war with pakistan, we wanted some return on the huge taxes we paid, we didn’t want to be taken for granted. For the first time citizens united to show our fury – on blogs, facebook, candle light marches – we promised to make our government more accountable!

The aftermath – Mumbai had a low voter turnout during the elections post 26/11, we still have a porous border, we know where security is lax and don’t demand that more security precautions be taken. We still have policemen without adequate arms…there is no perceivable difference in our security! The politicians who predicted this was just a flash in the pan were right…they just needed to say the right things for the next few months and then go back to life as usual!

(No i am not being holier than thou – i am ashamed to admit i am guilty of many of the above mentioned lapses!)

So what killed the fury, our promises, our demands —?

Was it the decision to have such a democratic trial for the murderer which made him seem more human- reports of his demands for biryani, his smiles, his daily life, his illness…(I dont want to rant at the media – but some monsters need to continue to be seen as monsters)

Is it in our basic nature as Indians to accept everything as fate – karma, destiny et all? Or do we need a deadly reminder to get up once again?

Is time really a healer? Do we need such healing which makes us so immune to our country and our city? I wish that if and when Kasab is sentenced to death – there is no appeal at the supreme court, my office starts clapping, there is celebration on the street, Facebook updates declare victory on terrorism (small steps ppl!) and people once again wake up and say – “Jagao Re”…

Is this too much to ask for? Isn’t Kasab’s sentencing more momentous that Mumbai Indians entering the finals?