Tag Archives: Opinions

Modern India – really?

So there is this colleague of mine – let me just call her PR. PR is a doll! A beautiful, smart girl, well-educated – done her MBA from one of India’s top B schools. Her Dad works as one of the top officials in one of India’s most respected government organizations. He has worked his way up, to be one of the top officials. She speaks highly of her father who despite belonging to an SC caste never used the reservation or allowed his daughters to use it. They have had to work their way to whatever they have done in life

PR is dating this mallu Nair boy – a nice boy am sure -nothing great in the looks department,educated less than her, happens to work abroad. His dad used to work in the gulf and came back to settle in Kerala.

His parents are dead against their marriage – their first reason being that she was an SC!!!
They then think that her dad should give them dowry – coz their son isn’t easily available on “sale” or something to that effect.

When she told me about the dowry bit, i was disgusted and asked her if this guy was worth it. I mean even if your parents are demanding dowry – dont u as a man in love with this girl have the guts to tell them this is wrong! Why are you communicating it to her? Because apparently the boy thinks it’s ok!

What shocked me even more – while PR wasn’t thrilled, she was ok with a certain amount of dowry being given. because in her side, if she had an arranged marriage, dowry is a pre-requisite.

Is it me? Am i too naive or idealistic? Do i live in a palace of illusions?

-> I would have thought her dad would say – I will never give dowry for my daughters! They are educated and capable of earning for themselves and hopefully will do so in tandem with their partners. let the couple make a life for themselves.
-> I would have thought she would have told the guy and his family to buzz off
-> I would have at least expected a lot more outrage from PR – am i good enough for you only with a couple of lakhs accompanying me?
-> I would have thought that in this day and age – caste would not matter especially when the girl is educated and of a similar if not better background than yours

Is modern-day India just a facade?

Is our old thought process just buried below this farce of moderness we claim to have?

What does it feel to grow up knowing that you will be acceptable to a man/his family if u come accompanied with the acceptable amount of money ?

And caste – how can it still matter?

Are we just a handful of us – whose parents would never ever even think of paying dowry for us. My mom as a kid used to always joke that she would ask for dowry from anyone who wanted to marry me!

This saddens me – this India which breaks my notion of dowry, caste etc not being an urbane educated class issue.

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2011

What – Monday’s still exist in 2011???
What – My boss is still my boss in 2011???
What – I am not yet a size zero???
What – i still have a running stuffy nose and this horrible cough?

Hmmmmph so what was the cheer about…

But there is something about a new year…which makes everyone feel good.
It feels like your past failures are wiped out.
You archive our old messy mails into a folder called 2010 and begin afresh.
It’s the times the gyms are at their fullest, health sites are blistering with people dying to start the healthy life.
It’s the time when the smokers downstairs your office are at the lowest.

Yes in time, our intentions and resolutions will get wiped out.
We fail in most, succeed in some – and in someway makes ourselves a better person than we were in 2010. So here’s wishing you all a Happy New year and hoping that next year this time you know that there are some things u did better in 2011.
I leave you with words from the master…

CnH

The master himself

Where is the heart?

When i heard about the Pune blasts i was in the middle of a holiday and my response was “Oh Ok..’. I didn’t seem interested coz ten lives didn’t seem like a big deal! Once i was back in Mumbai and back to the grind which includes reading papers…only then did i realize that 10 people – most of them were between the age of 18-25 years.were working in private companies, were teenagers in “good” colleges. I read what their friends had to say about their deaths. I have to admit i shed tears when i went thru the Facebook profile of the best friends of one of the girls who died…i can’t bear to imagine what that girl is going thru or the parents of the siblings who passed away.

So how did something i didn’t bother to find out more about earlier actually start seeming so unfair, so sad…i realized it was because it hit home. I could have been one of them – not agewise but yes i could have been sitting at the popular hangout or it could have been some one dear to me. 26/11 hit home coz it could have been me at one of those restaurants or The “Tall One” whose office is very close to Oberoi could have been stranded in his office like his boss whose wife was frantic with worry when he did decide to come home early in the morning because no one knew how many terrorists were still lurking around.

How come the malegaon blasts didn’t affect me – 40 people died – 4 times more than that in the Pune blasts. how come the recent maoist attack in midnapur not affect me? And it’s not just me…the media covered in detail the lives of the teenagers who had passed away. A side note seemed to mention the auto rickshaw person who also lost his life.

Does death only seem unfair, sad, scary when it could have been u? Are the lives of people who are not like u…not important?

Hello blogword!

Hello world – I am a “lurker”. I have lurked around blogs for maybe 5 years now. I am silent, I never comment but I do shed a tear – sometimes a happy tear at a “Happy Birthday Baby – u are 1 now” and sometimes a sad tear at a personal loss, sometimes I feel that its my life being played out on another blog, at times i am envious of experiences, at times I am relieved that it isn’t my story to tell.

I think that having a blog makes one “feel” life more. The “pressure” of blogging makes u aware of the “touch ur heart moments/feelings” and writing it down is akin to an external memory device. Blogging helps you to acknowledge your priorities, fears and aspirations. And I think most of all i want to blog because i am envious of the non judgemental friends/comments it offers you.

But I am scared too – of acknowledging all that I think I should, I am scared that my writing may be too boring, am wary that I might use incorrect grammar, am scared that I may not be honest and committed to my blog.

But in direct translation from Hindi – “what goes of my father” to try it out. So here is the story of the Nut – happily married to the Tall One, current status of no kids, ,hot-shot career woman (Ha!), living in Mumbai, wondering what is going to happen of this blog.

And why dropzofjupiter – well i like the song…i think it has character, though to be honest i dont really get the meaning of the song…and ummmm all the other names are taken….sniff sniff…and i know very soon i am going to think up a name i like more and have to live with this name….sniff…but that’s just how it is with the Nut!