Tag Archives: Friendship

Forever etched in my heart – Day 1/30

When I started blogging, I did it because I wanted to record my life. For sometime I did it pretty religiously too. But somewhere down the line I realised that while I can crib about my life, make fun of myself and the ones I love, write a couple of senti letters – I find it difficult to write about the little moments that fill my heart.

The first time I stopped blogging was when the elf was born – I never found the words rather I didn’t want to find the words to express what I feel for him. It was a private moment to be savoured by me and that was recorded in my heart forever.

When Swathi forced, I mean suggested that we do a blogathon, my first thought was to write about the amazing Diwali I had – the warmth of friends and family, the pang of missing some family, the traditions I was passing on to my son, the joy of cooking favourite foods of family and friends, the fun of dressing up and all the gratefulness I feel for everything. 

But like always I don’t find the words to do it justice.

Just a heart which feels all warm and loved. For everything I dislike about organised religion, I love how it still binds us irrespective of our beliefs. So I am grateful for that and glad we persist in some traditions.h

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G is for girlfriends and G is for Gi !

I have been secretly very pleased that today was the G day because i was meeting my bachpan ka dost “Gi” today. Gi is a silent reader of my blog so everyone wave to her now.

For the record Gi is inspiring – life gave her lemons, and at the moment she is making lemonade, sure she complains about the occasional lemon but on the whole, she is a very cheerful lemonade maker and I know for a fact (and I know she doesn’t believe it) that her lemonade is eventually going to be Michelin star worthy.

Gi I am documenting this here so that I can tell you told you so someday.

But the story of her lemons and lemonade is hers to tell, let me tell you about us.

Us would totally be incomplete without the addition of 5 other lead characters from school – we call ourselves Chaddi buddies which when very very loosely translated into English is “Girlfriends” which again is what G is for.

During our school days, we were never a mob of 7 friends who walked around together like you see in the movies. Though now that I think about it that would have been totally cool. We would have looked the part in our cringeworthy clothes of the 1990’s. The ones we will never ever put up on Facebook!

I have to admit though that even in bunches of 2-3 we were quite scary. Against the quiet conservative landscape of Port Blair, we were the girls laughing away while we troubled others.

But no we were not a mob, we each had individual relationships with each other, at various points of time – the degree of “closeness varied’ but when we came together in 2012 to create Chaddi buddies on whatsapp – we all just fit. We were just right!

We started off exactly where we left off some 15 odd years ago. Recounting old jokes and incidents, discussing old crushes, gossiping about our classmates – but we started building on our friendship – husbands and kids were introduced, recipes and ambitions were discussed, advice and threats were pelted out.

I know for a fact one of the main reason I didn’t suffer from Post partum depression was these ladies – there was always someone to talk to, or laugh with, always demanding a baby pic (thanks to which I have pics of almost every day of the elfs first year – at that time I have to admit I was pained but now i am grateful for the memories)

Our relationship with each other is easy – there are no demands and no expectations. These ladies are my backbone; their babies are mine, their lives are part of my story, we have each others back, we might chat a little less now but we still chat everyday. Everyday since 1st Jun 2012.

We know we are friends for a lifetime .

Mini reunions have happened and all we now wait for is that big bad big reunion.

Someday we will be a mob of 7 women walking around – you and you and you be scared!

The blog is part of the April A toZ challenge

Randomness – Friendship etc etc

So the weekend that was deserves a mention – you decide whether it needs to be read or not. I just want to document this for me.

A very happy 3 days – a perfect end to the year and a perfect start to it too.

Friendly Friday – 30th Dec

We informed the evil boss that we were off from work at 2:30 and he just had to deal with it.

My BFF from my graduation P was in town – down from London. I don’t remember when i last met her – 2 years ago maybe. Both of us are “pathetic phone keeping in touchers” so we barely talk. But somehow when we meet, it’s like we are the same nut/p combination from college, no awkward silences, no u don’t call me, no why didn’t u meet me last time. I think this is just a lovely free free friendship we have!

Later that evening,we were to have a reunion of our MBA friends – i have to admit, i was not too keen calling them boring and all and i was mentioning that to a friend of mine who is also an MBA types and she mentioned how her batchmates were always trying to outdo one another with their job titles, square foot of flats etc.

And i realized nope these guys were not that like that.

i was just being stupid. Somewhere i have a lot of affection for most of my batchmates – i may not want to meet them on a daily basis but they were such an important part of my life for 2 years and will always have a piece of my heart

And boy am i glad i went – we had a blast. The guys got so “nicely high” (me i was the designate driver) -we talked of college crushes, pulled each others legs and it felt so good! I was made to tell the tale of a very non-existent “romantic” story of the Tall one and me!!

We meet again as a larger crowd sometime this month and i will look forward to it

And that was my Friday

SAturday – 31st Dec – While the world planned its party ways and clothes – we went to Khandala in our new car (oops did i just let that slip in) for lunch! Lunch done – we drove right back. Did i say “we”. Sorry the tall one drove back while i slept like there was no tomorrow.

We welcomed New years as grown ups do – ummm ok loosers do – watching Big Boss! A quick hug at 12 and our eyes were back on the TV.

But there was something nice to this – no drunkenness, no struggling for space, no searching for one another in a crowd. here we were just the 2 of us – pizza, garlic bread, and beer to add to the party!

Sunday – 1st Jan – Spoke to all and sundry in the family and then headed for some fantastic seafood! oooh, ooh and the highlight of my life i found a fish shop that delivers fresh fish home. Soo exciting!!! Sherlock Holmes and a hot coffee made my evening!

I can’t really remember what i did on Sunday evening but i am guessing the amnesia is because it must have been fairly dull!

When i read this post, i wonder what made this weekend feel so good – it was like most other weekends, yet it was not. 2012 you look promising don’t ya!

Judgement Day

I met SI last year in Kolkata – 13 years after we had passed out from school.Nothing seemed to have changed – she still stressed about exams (she was studying to be a doc), still laughed endlessly, still had that nervous undecided air about her, as ambitious as ever- proud to be a doctor. Her husband BI came along with her and they took me out for dinner. Over dinner, we told BI stories of our school days, we both teased SI about her nervousness before exams and her endless life of study.

I remember thinking about how many more years she had to study and was quite impressed with how supportive BI was. I remember mentally congratulating the modern Indian man. I remember thinking how sweet of him to accompany her across the city post working hours to visit a friend. I remember

Around a month ago, it was BI’s birthday and i went to his wall on FB to wish him and noticed that the wall had been made private, most of the pics in his album were just him. SI wasn’t a mutual friends.And then the bells rang. Something was not right.

I had noticed that Si changed her name to her maiden name in FB. her profile pic changed to one of her alone, her facebook status updates were philosophical. I mailed her knowing something was amiss. She wrote back saying that BI used to physically abuse her and she had left him!

I was shocked.! I always thought of myself as a good judge of character. Was i so wrong? Are looks really so deceptive.

The good part is SI has a career, supportive parents and will come out of this. And i am glad for that.

This post would have ended here except last night.

Bi went on an overdrive (yes, i forgot to unfriend him on FB), his wall become public and he talked about how someone close to him, had betrayed him despite his support. How people use so ambitious that relationships mean nothing, How people fool people with their so called love and how their so called guardians support them. How people don’t have a heart and have trampled on his and how he needed strength to come out of this.

Another classmate was online then who also had BI as a friend. She messaged me about this verbal overdrive and said “while i dont want to belittle what SI went through but do we know the whole story”. and i have to be honest while i was reading his updates, i felt the same thing.

This coming from good friends of SI – while we did finally come to the conclusion that such public level sympathy mongering reeked of guilt. For a second there we did doubt our friend…

Isn’t it ironic that the one who talks aloud and plays the sympathy card is always considered as the ‘wronged’ one? Silence ain’t always considered golden?
Or is an ambitious woman always going to be viewed as the vamp?

Worse still is facebook too powerful an engine?

In the past the wronged one could whine to a select few. But now FB has allowed him to wash his dirty linen to all of his 300+ friends – most of them will be passing judgement on a woman they dont know – Passing judegement on my friend – the tiny parcel who was friendly to me when i was the new girl in school, the one who had her nose in her books except when she was laughing aimlessly at the silliest of jokes, the butt of many jokes most of which she didn’t get, the one who was so passionate about being a doctor. The simple good hearted girl who just wanted to be in the top 3 and then become a doctor

Yes people’s opinion dont matter…but it still does matter – doesn’t it?

SI – we are in your corner! God bless!

Ramblings from a rickety old cab

As i sat in the cab last night, i was over whelmed by the number of lights from all the high rise building. So many people – strangers to one another.and me a tiny speck – something that doesn’t matter!

Took me back to a time, when i was working in Mumbai – thrilled to be posted back to this city i loved and studied in for seven long years. The hours i spent at Barista, watching people while reading, the walks along bandstand, the millions of books i read, hours of talking to the tall one, cheeni and my mom on the phone, the weekend partying didn’t help. I realized i was lonely – lonely in this city which i thought was mine – no good friends, no family – no one to go home to. I was quite relieved when i was sent back to Bangalore.

Yesterday – as i sat and watched thousands of people make their way home, many of whom would go home to an empty house – I felt humbled i have you.

You waiting for me, worrying about me getting stuck in traffic, advising me on the best way to get to you – Someone in this horde of people in Mumbai – for whom i am the centre of the universe (even if i say so myself)

Thank you sweetheart…for everything i say and most of all for all the things i don’t say! I couldn’t have got luckier!!

here’s wishing you the most fantastic year ahead and many many years of being agonized by me!

Happy Birthday!!

p.s. am off home for a week…so ciao people – will see u on the otherside πŸ™‚

Growing up

You know you are growing up or rather growing old:

1) When u recognize the books a girl appearing for her 11th standard exams is cramming for and with a start realize you studied from that book 13 years ago!

2) You see your first offer letter and realize that it is 7 years old

3)You realize that there are sooo many people younger to you in office.

4) You realize your MBA batchmates are attending “sport’s day” in their kids school

5) You are no longer asked why/when you aint having a baby because people assume there are some “issues”

6) Your paunch is assumed to be a “baby bump” – maybe that’s when you know you are growing fat

7) When a fellow “Why should i have a baby before 30” club member deserts the group. You know who you are!!! u deserter…..hmmmph. Same for you Oh office colleague

8 ) Your conversations with your buddies are no longer around “partying” and clothes and u begin to “mention” things u cooked,

9) When you enter the most happening disc in town and the average age goes up

You know somethings never change when:

When Friday evening approaches and u feel the same ok similar excitement as the last day before the holidays

Thursday evening seems like the night before your last exam when u just can’t get down to studying.

Have a great weekend people!

Detached

I am an easy friend to have – i don’t have too many expectations.

You don’t need to remember my birthday, i don’t want gifts.
You don’t need to call me or sms me on a regular basis
You don’t need to like my facebook photos or click multiple snaps with me.
You don’t have to be there for me in my tough times or put up with my moods
You don’t need to hear my cribs or my long-winded stories

I enjoy the heart to heart conversations. I enjoy having a friend in you.

But don’t push me my friend – I wont fight, i wont cry, i wont have talks justifying the same.
Coz when i detach myself, i just pull away completely.

p.s. the cloud has passed and itz all good πŸ™‚