Tag Archives: Feelings

Welcome my dear friend,

Welcome my dear friend,

It’s been a little under a year since we last met. I just need to see you to feel refreshed – I know you have this influence on a lot of people. Your perfume always signals your arrival. Nothing smells better to me.

You and I we go back a long time, you were always there to accompany me on my first day of school. While in the Andamans, you were there to welcome me every afternoon of the nine months you visited us – right as we got off the school bus truck. We jumped into puddles as we made our way home. Well I jumped and you elegantly pit-patted your way into those puddles. In college we met at marine drive where you throughly drenched me

Yes my beloved monsoons welcome !!! With you off goes the heat and the sticky face and in comes the cool breeze and feel of everything being anew.

A lot has happened since we last met. I have a son now – who I hope will love you as much as I do and not view you with the indifference his dad has or the dislike that a lot of people especially Mumbaites have for you!

You remember, last year in Bhandardhara – where i threw off the umbrella at the dam and got throughly wet! The friends declared me insane and foresaw all kinds of illness. Of course I didn’t know it at that time, but that would have been around the time, the Elf was conceived, so you see you did make your mark on his life very early. The year before last, a walk after gym in the rain made my day.

It was short visit by you today but everything looks so clean – so washed. The elf was asleep and woke up to a very excited mother telling him about the rain. He didn’t quite get what the excitement was about but loved the little rhyme on the rain that i insisted on singing to him

“It’s raining, it’s pouring,
The little baby is snoring,
He got into bed and missed the rain
WOken up to find his mom insane.

This year he might be a little young to greet you as i love to but maybe next year, he will throw off his umbrella and get drenched and joy the excited screams of all the kids playing downstairs.

Au Revoir 2011!

It’s that time of the year when you evaluate how the year has been to you.

2011 has been uneventful, boring even – but I am grateful to how kind it has been to me. I look around and know I am blessed. Blessed that the year was what it was.

2012 promises to be exciting, it promises to test us more than we have ever been tested! This is one year I am making no resolutions, I am going to let life lead me where it wants. I enter the year with no preconceived notions, just a promise to try to do my best!

And I hope that the Good Man above continues to keep an eye on us!

So here’s wishing all of you a fantastic year ahead!!!

If you have made resolutions may you find the commitment to keep the ones that matter
If you have decisions to make, may you find the strength to deal with the consequences if any.
May you really “live” life to the fullest
We just need to keep the faith and remember that we will always find it within us to deal with everything …if we allow ourselves too.

See you in 2012!

Wisdom from the 20’s

Di’s‘s post on turning 29 inspired this. While it’s too late for me to make lists – considering i have just about 2 months before D-day! So i have made a list of my key learnings in the past decade!

I have learnt that

1. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Hate is just another form of love. Indifference helps you let go of pain and hurtful memories a lot faster

2. It’s ok to make mistakes at work. As a former boss once told me, making mistakes shows that you are actually attempting to work!!! yes he used the words attempting

3. However in the rest of your life’s decisions, there are no mistakes – there are no rights/wrongs. Every step you have taken is just a step into creating the person that you are today.

4. Ambitions change – As you grow up you realize you may never be the hot shoot career professional that you aspired to be – but it won’t matter.

5. It is possible to love without having any walls or inhibitions

6. You need girl friends – enough said!

7. You will make a lot of friends – the important ones will remain

8. Your body is growing old – take care of it

9. Spend time with your loved ones so that you have no regrets

10. A lot of your problems and issues are self created – don’t complicate other’s life and your own with your insecurities. i said a lot of your problems – not all

11. I used to think that to find bliss you needed some form of external stimuli – i have learnt that you can find bliss in solitude

12. Happiness or Sadness is what you choose to be!

20’s – i wonder if you still have some lessons for me before i sign off and join the very adult world of the “30’s”?

Letters to my future baby

Dear Future baby,

They say that parenting is all about tough decisions!

Should i be a strict or a lenient parent? Leave the kid free to be free as a bird or groom them into becoming the next Andre Agassi. Overly protect them from the world or let them face the big bad world? Most of the time it’s about walking a fine line between the various options that are thrown at you

When i look back, i wonder what your Ammamma-to-be’s style of parenting was. One of her closest friends thinks she was too strict when i was a child. As i grew up, while some parents would not let kids go off for out-of-town college festivals, she let me go. Strangely i never slotted her – i never thought of her as too strict or too much of a nag or too interfering or too lenient.

For me my mother meant means security.

Your ammamma-to-be always told me that “remember no matter what you do, i will be there.I may not approve but whenever you fall, i will be there to pull you out of the ditch”. And that for me is what my mother stands for – reassurance and my strength.

I have carried those words with me always. I may not share everything with her – but i know that when push comes to shove ‘mommy will make it ok’. I am approaching 30 and your ammamma-to-be was here for a couple of weeks, i felt like i had a wonderful warm cozy blanket thrown over my life!

And that is what i want to pass onto you – Remember that no matter what your Dad and i will be there. Whenever you need us!

So baby-to-be, My only hope is that we can one day make you feel as secure about yourself, your decisions and your life as my mother made me feel!

Lots of love
The nut!

Disclaimer – I don’t guarantee we will make all the right decisions – but maybe by the time you come around, they will introduce a responsibility giving, parenting skill giving, wise making pill which we can pop

On an aside note
When i hear about kids committing suicide, i wonder if they didn’t know that their parents were the people who they could fall back on.

An open letter to the terrorists….

Terrorists,

So you struck again – this time the National Capital. Yesterday, i spent a lot of time thinking about you thanks to all the 9/11 documentaries on TV. I still remember the fear i felt during 9/11. The fear abated as i thought of it as America’s problem. Then the fear during the mumbai train bomb blasts and the fear during 26/11. 26/11 changed things – once the fear went off, it was overcome with anger – a lot of anger at you, the establishment, the general apathy of our government and at us the common citizens.

A lot of us had a lot of hope – hope that things would change post 26/11. Somehow we would be more secure but u managed to prove that we were wrong – nothing changes. Status quo.

Now i don’t feel angry when i hear about a bomb blast. I don’t feel scared. I have accepted it as one of the ways that humans die – much like heartaches. I just pray that no one i know is part of it and move on with life. We are at work the next day, we don’t continuously watch the news, we know the pattern – intelligence failure, Chidhambaram will condemn the attacks, Manmohan Singh will condemn the attack and promise to take stern action against anyone who threatens India’s security, Opposition will use this as a weapon against the ruling party, Some politician will put his foot in his mouth and we the common citizen will call people we know to check if all is well. And then a couple of heated conversations and we are done!

Ok So my point is this – killing innocents Indians is not really helping you either. You See the government doesn’t care about me. My death will not matter. It will not get u back Kashmir nor will it cause Kasab or Afzal guru to be released from jail. Surely you are smart enough to realize that.We are too weak and unimportant to move our government to do anything for us and the government realizes that and makes some noises and we all move on.

I oscillated for a long time wondering if i should write the next para, I feel guilty writing this but then again i need to safeguard myself. You don’t need to kill to get what you want.Kidnap a politician and it works wonders – remember Mufti Sayeed’s daughter?

So use your resources intelligently and stop this nonsense. Our lives are not as important.The only thing you might achieve is reducing our population growth rate.

Regards
A Nut

The Nutty World

So what has been happening with me?

Well we are back from a 5 day trip to Langakwi and while i may not declare this to be among my best holidays – a holiday is a holiday is a holiday and i shall not complain…Other than the fact that i found Malaysian’s very unfriendly, quite unlike their Thai counterparts.

Anyway, that apart…let me think what have i been up to?

Well i have a million half written posts in my head -and none documented. I dont feel like writing, i feel like somethings are to mundane to say, i dont feel like having an opinion or being funny or even writing a book review

Speaking about books – have u read the secret of the Nagas – so recommended. I love Amish’s imagination. i know people who dont like the fact that mythology has been twisted so much but hey it’s his interpretation – take it for what it is.

In other news – i am still existing at work. I feel disconnected from facebook and other social media. I keep in touch with few people and i keep in touch with them a lot!

Ummm…on an irrelevant note, my house – ufff it’s a mess. i have decided i will do one task a day and put this home of ours into order.

I want my life to be a holiday. I want to win a million dollars and never have to work again. I want to find a “higher” meaning to my life. I want to look beautiful, i want to be efficient. I feel i am not living my life fully and just about existing.

OK all that said, do i promise to blog more? I don’t know.

Detached

I am an easy friend to have – i don’t have too many expectations.

You don’t need to remember my birthday, i don’t want gifts.
You don’t need to call me or sms me on a regular basis
You don’t need to like my facebook photos or click multiple snaps with me.
You don’t have to be there for me in my tough times or put up with my moods
You don’t need to hear my cribs or my long-winded stories

I enjoy the heart to heart conversations. I enjoy having a friend in you.

But don’t push me my friend – I wont fight, i wont cry, i wont have talks justifying the same.
Coz when i detach myself, i just pull away completely.

p.s. the cloud has passed and itz all good πŸ™‚