Tag Archives: Dreams

Q is for Que Sera Sera

So since things have been quiet since Thursday, you must have thought that nuttie quit the blogathon.

I have no qualms in admitting that I am in quite a quandary about what to post about Q. She has already questioned the need for Q’s existence and she has well questioned

I could maybe talk about the elf who is a quintessential toddler but has his quirks and sometimes amazes us with his quips. Maybe i could give some wise quotes on the question before every mother – quality over quantity of time spent with the kid ?

Maybe I can give you a quiz but if we differ on the answers it could end in a quibble or a quarrel. Or i could give you a questionnaire and get to know you better, quantitatively at least.

Or i could narrate incidents where over eating of almonds and moong dal halwa made me queasy and since then i have quelled the need to ever taste it again. Maybe i should tell you about the querulous lady who quarreled with me after she jumped the queue.

Or maybe i can write about the quagmire my mind is in this whole quest to discover myself and happiness.

But ultimately i always tell myself Que sera sera – whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see.

This is part of the AtoZ challenge for April and this is my entry for Q.

 

 

 

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Au Revoir 2011!

It’s that time of the year when you evaluate how the year has been to you.

2011 has been uneventful, boring even – but I am grateful to how kind it has been to me. I look around and know I am blessed. Blessed that the year was what it was.

2012 promises to be exciting, it promises to test us more than we have ever been tested! This is one year I am making no resolutions, I am going to let life lead me where it wants. I enter the year with no preconceived notions, just a promise to try to do my best!

And I hope that the Good Man above continues to keep an eye on us!

So here’s wishing all of you a fantastic year ahead!!!

If you have made resolutions may you find the commitment to keep the ones that matter
If you have decisions to make, may you find the strength to deal with the consequences if any.
May you really “live” life to the fullest
We just need to keep the faith and remember that we will always find it within us to deal with everything …if we allow ourselves too.

See you in 2012!

Wisdom from the 20’s

Di’s‘s post on turning 29 inspired this. While it’s too late for me to make lists – considering i have just about 2 months before D-day! So i have made a list of my key learnings in the past decade!

I have learnt that

1. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. Hate is just another form of love. Indifference helps you let go of pain and hurtful memories a lot faster

2. It’s ok to make mistakes at work. As a former boss once told me, making mistakes shows that you are actually attempting to work!!! yes he used the words attempting

3. However in the rest of your life’s decisions, there are no mistakes – there are no rights/wrongs. Every step you have taken is just a step into creating the person that you are today.

4. Ambitions change – As you grow up you realize you may never be the hot shoot career professional that you aspired to be – but it won’t matter.

5. It is possible to love without having any walls or inhibitions

6. You need girl friends – enough said!

7. You will make a lot of friends – the important ones will remain

8. Your body is growing old – take care of it

9. Spend time with your loved ones so that you have no regrets

10. A lot of your problems and issues are self created – don’t complicate other’s life and your own with your insecurities. i said a lot of your problems – not all

11. I used to think that to find bliss you needed some form of external stimuli – i have learnt that you can find bliss in solitude

12. Happiness or Sadness is what you choose to be!

20’s – i wonder if you still have some lessons for me before i sign off and join the very adult world of the “30’s”?

The Nutty World

So what has been happening with me?

Well we are back from a 5 day trip to Langakwi and while i may not declare this to be among my best holidays – a holiday is a holiday is a holiday and i shall not complain…Other than the fact that i found Malaysian’s very unfriendly, quite unlike their Thai counterparts.

Anyway, that apart…let me think what have i been up to?

Well i have a million half written posts in my head -and none documented. I dont feel like writing, i feel like somethings are to mundane to say, i dont feel like having an opinion or being funny or even writing a book review

Speaking about books – have u read the secret of the Nagas – so recommended. I love Amish’s imagination. i know people who dont like the fact that mythology has been twisted so much but hey it’s his interpretation – take it for what it is.

In other news – i am still existing at work. I feel disconnected from facebook and other social media. I keep in touch with few people and i keep in touch with them a lot!

Ummm…on an irrelevant note, my house – ufff it’s a mess. i have decided i will do one task a day and put this home of ours into order.

I want my life to be a holiday. I want to win a million dollars and never have to work again. I want to find a “higher” meaning to my life. I want to look beautiful, i want to be efficient. I feel i am not living my life fully and just about existing.

OK all that said, do i promise to blog more? I don’t know.

Winds of Change

I feel the winds of change,
I hope i am not wrong,
There is an optimism in the air,
or am i just hoping against hope?

My brain tells me not so soon,
My heart is not so sure,
My heart would like to believe
Or is just the rest of my being?

Are those signs
or is it my imagination?

Is it an escape,
or is the real thing
Escape from all that is mundane
But then again how do u define the real thing?

Can important decisions be spontaneous
Or has the thought always being there
Can your convictions change so soon
With no drastic happenings?

Why can’t i wait to know
I need a crystal ball
Uff i hate the wait

Come on winds of change,
A gust of wind or a light cool breeze,
Make me feel optimistic
Refresh me
Make me a new person
And Come On Now!

I read this – and it is unlikely to make sense but then again my blog my freedom

and to give u something other than my ridiculous garrulous post to comment on – let me add i complete exactly one year of blogging today.

Yay…i didn’t expect to survive!

Comfortably Numb

Inspired by this blog of Tanishka’s-whose blog I have just started reading and totally loving it. I am still trying not to judge her for loving Karan Singh Grover but ummm whatever.

So my dream job as a child – I think when I was perhaps somewhere between 8-12 years old – was to own a store. A store where everything was sold right from screws and nails to Barbie dolls to furniture. The idea was everything under the sun.

My Store was called ummm – “Sweet heart Store”…why u ask? Was I one of those kids who grew up too fast and wanted a sweetheart? Nope! The answer lies in my artistic skills…I could pretty much only draw hearts and hence the logo of my store pretty much determined its name. The colours of the hearts were purple and pink- coming to think of it – I should charge coffee day royalty for stealing my colours. I used to write letters to suppliers when my stock ran out complete with the “Sweet heart logo”. I would write thank you letters to customers who appreciated my service.

Sweet heart store was a part of my company called the “Red eye” corporation – which also was in the business of printing birthday cards, writing stories and so on. The red eye corporation had a logo – a sad looking flying bird with a red eye…once again my creativity was limited by my lack of artist skills. Remnants of the red eye corporation can be found with the grannies and the mother in the form of birthday cards, anniversary cards and the like.

I think around the the same time want to be a “vamp” in movies duh – primarily driven by the astounding success of me as Cinderella’s step sister. My grandparents had come to watch the play at school and were shocked that the soft spoken shy I (yes I was that way) could act so brilliantly. I must say I loved the adoration of the fans (the grandmother who recites the story to this day) and the filmfares I won..yes they were in my head but so what I won them didn’t I?

There was also this phase when I wanted to be an archaeologist – you know highest marks in history and all – until I realized that archaeology involved digging and mud and dust – all of which were really not my forte.

And then came along NDTV/Star news and I was all about war journalism – until I realized that there was a fairly high degree of danger to self – So jaan pyari decided that she would be a war journalist who would visit after a war and let people know about the after effects of a war.

But somewhere life took over – and the entrepreneur turned actress turned archaeologist turned journalist became a banker!

Why u ask? Because I think that sometimes life’s realities kill dreams. Ask me today do u want to be an entrepreneur and I will say No – cause I like my Saturday, Sunday’s off and I like my annual getaways and holidays and the like. And I am not willing to sacrifice even one year of the same. Archaeology and Journalism – at the time I decided to do commerce where not considered the most ‘reliable” source of income and hence discarded by the much too practical me.

Have I made the right choice? I don’t know?
Is it too late? – I think so…
Is this what I am meant to do? – Hell No- my life must be more than about being a banker?
Do I love my job?- No, but I don’t hate it on most days.
Is that a good sign? – I don’t know
Would I have loved doing the other things? – Who knows?
Will I crib about dreams left behind – of course
Will I regret it on my death bed – I will blog about that …umm from heaven I guess Smart alecs- I am going to heaven – I have halo and all

Will I make a change – No I won’t, I am much too complacent…
You see I have become comfortably numb

2011

What – Monday’s still exist in 2011???
What – My boss is still my boss in 2011???
What – I am not yet a size zero???
What – i still have a running stuffy nose and this horrible cough?

Hmmmmph so what was the cheer about…

But there is something about a new year…which makes everyone feel good.
It feels like your past failures are wiped out.
You archive our old messy mails into a folder called 2010 and begin afresh.
It’s the times the gyms are at their fullest, health sites are blistering with people dying to start the healthy life.
It’s the time when the smokers downstairs your office are at the lowest.

Yes in time, our intentions and resolutions will get wiped out.
We fail in most, succeed in some – and in someway makes ourselves a better person than we were in 2010. So here’s wishing you all a Happy New year and hoping that next year this time you know that there are some things u did better in 2011.
I leave you with words from the master…

CnH

The master himself