Category Archives: Tell me why?

When i thought 10 was better than 9

So yesterday the clumsy oaf in me subconsciously wondered why do we need 10 fingers or 10 toes. In my quest to satisfy my curiosity, i bumped against a wooden standee and cut the fourth toe on my left leg. and Not in one but multiple directions. I have to tell u looking down at my foot and having flesh stare back at you may not be worth the curiosity

So the husband arrived with all the requisite drama around where, why, what??? and carted me off to the hospital and this is where the post goes into bullet points

The fun parts

1. Got the most brilliant wheel chair ride from the Emergency room to the X-ray room. Was so fun…am thinking of availing the ride when i go back to get the stitches checked
2. Anaesthesia makes the world go around and accounts for a chirpy nut
3. 8 stitches is apparently a big deal…Ahh u non war veterans…this is kid’s play for me and results in lots of sympathy
4.The Tall one’s unending service
5. And of course the Day off work…Ha! I can now devote myself to Cityville…
6. oooh and i have something to blog about

The Blah’s
1. The tall one has to travel tonight and i got go tomm to visit the doc…phew the logistics of being langda tyagi
2. Me pretty feet are now gonna be scared for life…Boooo Hoooo
3. Bathing is going to be a b****
4. I think i am forgetting something — Ahh the pain when the painkillers and anaesthesia wears off

The Why’s
1. Wonder why i got the TT shot on the posterior where as the Tall One got his in the arm…I thought bum shots were for kids…am i being told something?
2. Why can’t i wear shoes?
3. Why does this have to happen when i start enjoying the gym?
4. Why does Anaesthesia wear off?
5. Why is everyone scolding me? I can’t help it?

ok…so finally in conclusion…i would like to inform you that the Yay’s may be many…but i recommend sticking on too all of your ten toes and fingers

And yes i am medicated…

ooh and in other ways to torture myself this weekend…i watched yamla pagla deewana….Oh yes my dearies that’s what u call an “exciting weekend”…!!

And i leave u with these thoughts – be careful for what you wish for

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Hurricane baby turns 1

Dear Baby Hurricane,

I still remember the day ur dad announced to us – that they were going to have a baby. i remember feeling a little like – “why god why” -(Joey from friends style). Gone were the impromptu weekend plans, the late night tabboo and teen patti sessions, dinner parties, the going away on a holiday…Sigh! i remember not wanting one of us to grow up.

But i can proudly say we have done all of the above mentioned things even with u around…except the impromptu weekend plans…which we never made anyway…u know with ur dad around – impromptu plans are thrown out of the window.

And i think all this is a testimony to what a wonderful baby you are. You never once wimpered on the long drive to panchgani, you never once cried or slept thru our boistorous tabboo, jenga and teen patti sessions, you slept thru your first movie in the movie hall as a three month old, you let ur mommy and daddy go out for dinner, you endured the smoke and noise in goa…

And yesterday sigh u turned One!

I can’t believe it’s been a year – a year since an excited Tall one and an excited Mema (Me – In malayalam – mema means father/mother’s younger sister) came to meet you. Yesterday as your “Happy Burrday” cake was being cut, i felt my eyes go wet! i dont know why…they just did.

Of course the mood changed when i heard this really cute song and saw u dancing in that nut’s daddy’s handsalbeit with a frowny face.

I sometimes wonder why i we adore u…is it just coz u are such a munchkin or is it coz ur dad & mom are the bestest couple friends we have. or is because we have watched u grow in ur mommy’s tummy and then watched u grow from a ugly little bean like thing to the round little golgappa.

Maybe cause we watched u grow in fascination despite while these 2 beer guzzling, tabboo and teen patti playing adults grapplled with this whole parenting business. We watched ur mom play with you like u were a toy…right from annoying you with booties…yes we will spank her. We watched ur dad proudly talk about his “son”. We watched them evolve into “real” adults.

Somewhere in a small way, u changed us too..I can’t help but smile when u show me those six little teeth…including the four which bit me real hard. Thinking of you take ur first steps makes me feel proud.

Baby boy – u may not “technically” be family but u hold a special place in our hearts..and we both love it when u recognize us more than your grandparents (Ha!) and jump into our hands. Yes, we are pathetic like that and all.

May the world let u remain the happy little baby…may ur cute little frown remain and if u are really really lucky…may u stop looking like ur father and look a little bit more like ur beautiful mom.

God bless mah little hurricane,

Lots of love
Mema
(p.s. when u grow up u will realize i am better than the TAll one and jump more into my hands…hmmmph why him more than me – of course we keep score)

–X—X—-X—X—X—X—X—X

Now i know u guys well and No this is not an indicator that i am ready for a baby…my next post shall proove that..!!!!

Staying Alive

Prices of dals are soaring, fruits and vegetables follow suit, property is unaffordable – the value of everything seems to be heading north! Yet, there is one thing which i feel is loosing value – Life! And i am not talking about finer things like spirituality, living comfortably or work life balance – i am just talking about “Staying Alive”.

A couple of months ago, an acquaintance R was driving on the Munirka flyover in Delhi. A car behind him wanted to go ahead and R being a fairly aggressive driver himself (i am guessing) didn’t let the car overtake him. Post the flyover, when he did – the occupants of the other car got out of the car, stopped R and beat him up with an iron rod! Thankfully someone saw him and took him to a nearby hospital. The doctor pretty much said that if they had arrived later, he would have died or at least lost use of his leg. The poor man is now recovering from multiple surgeries and pretty much learning to walk again.

And for what?..Just coz a jackass thought his time was as precious as a person’s ability to walk or live!

Look at nooriya haveliwala and more recently Sushil Kotari. No – they didn’t intend to kill…but they did choose to be irresponsible. I do feel bad for them cause a lapse of judgement has caused them many years of dealing with the judicial system and a lifetime of guilt for snuffing out the life of a person. I dont even want to start thinking of the family they have cheated a loved one of. The pain and the “Why us” …

Most of us view the drinking and driving campaign as how to escape being caught. It’s thursday – they only check on weekends,they dont check on this road and promptly a person maybe “just a couple of pegs” gets behind the wheel. I hope the couple of pegs are worth the lifetime of guilt you might have to live with.

This careless attitude towards life scares me. There are times when i am driving and a two wheeler is acting all “Oh look at me” on and generally being a nuisance on the road and i think – he deserves to be knocked down…Does he now really?? Just for being an idiot should he be paralysed for life or worse?

I wonder if video games and all these X boxes games which are constantly about knocking things down or killing things are responsible for road rage and this urge to knock people down.

You hear of people being killed for some jewellery, inter-caste marriages or some other equally inane reason…Dont we get it …the person will die …his family will never see him again. And if u are someone who can’t think beyond your own nose…Think of yourself – there is a probability of being caught…and if u aren’t the fear of being caught will remain with u and if nothing else there will be some nights when u can’t sleep cause you have killed a human…a person for whom there is someone somewhere else who is unable to sleep coz they miss them.

A leopard never changes his spots!

The front page of today’s mumbai mirror talks about Dimpy Ganguly walking out of their house after a “night of domestic violence”…It’s sad that poor girl looks a shadow of her childlike self as seen in the show.

I am sure Rahul Mahajan’s PR is working overtime right now to prove that Dimpy did this for publicity and never really wanted to marry Rahul…Now while the couple along with the newspapers and columnists debate who is right and who is wrong, we will all be subject to another Shoeb, Ayesha, Sania scenario. Yikess!!!

But to get back to the point on domestic violence – as per a NHFS india report 33% of the women in India in the age group of 15-49 have faced some form of domestic violence. Another survey done in the US suggests that 42.8% of the women surveyed have faced some form of abuse or the other.

What’s scary is there is very high probability that at least one of the women around you is a victim of domestic violence. She is probably walking around with a smile on her face -but in her heart, she lives her life walking on egg shells, never knowing what is going to “inspire” the next slap.

Now i am no expert on domestic violence, i have seen it at close quarters but that doesn’t mean i understand what a victim goes thru…these are just my thoughts on the same.

There are some women for whom the decision seems seemingly tough – the ones who are economically dependent, have no parental support and are uneducated.

But one wonders why a women who is educated, self-sufficient and confident stays on…it seems easy enough to open the door and walk out …doesn’t it?

Until it happens to u…

None of us can claim to understand it…

She sometimes stays because of obvious reasons – social stigma, your children, parental pressure. It seems so unfair that these factors weigh more than her self-confidence, her dignity and more importantly her safety.

But at times, I think that at the core of it is the abuser. Once the anger has lived its life, the a** is likely to promise profusely, showering gifts (for additional impact might shed tears )that they dont know what came over them, this wont happen again and that they are trying real hard. TRYING??? How difficult is it to keep ur hand down u moron…tie up your hands with a rope to help u remember.

This is likely to make a lot of victims believe it’s not all bad, they look at the positive aspects in the guy and decide a drastic step is not required and they stay on…until the next time when the cycle of violence is repeated.

And that’s why it’s heartening when a 22 year old Dimpy walks out on an abusive marriage in 4 months and decides enough is enough. in the report do see she mentions that he is a nice guy

A marriage which everyone and their aunt had predicted was just for publicity. A marriage ear-marked to fail, which probably gave her many worldly pleasures including a super luxurious honeymoon, a union which took her away from being a wannabe model and made her a social butterfly. Walking out is going to yield her a lot of “Told u so’s” and “She’s doing it for publicity” but at least she can walk without fear.

As Tagore said – where the mind is without fear and the head is held high…

Walk away girl,don’t look back…coz a leopard never changes his spots and yes one slap is all it takes!

So what do u think…why do educated, self-sufficient women stay on in abusive relationships?

p.s. yes i know the whole Tagore poem and know only these 2 lines hold true.

p.s. edited to add as per the latest report…dimpy has gone back to the idiot at the insistence of her father…sigh

Dear Me – that’s a lot of rants!

i apologize but i am cranky under the work pressure and all other pressure around me. i promise to try to be more cheerful after a restful weekend and many ZZZZZ’s

Dear MIL – Your son turned 32 – u feel that is too old to be childless. Is it now really? Does his wife’s age/ambition not matter?

Dear BIL – Yes, u conceived within 9 months of marriage, yes it worked out well for u, Some people might want to chart their own path and not copy yours!

Dear Grandmother in LAw- i would love for my kids to know the wonderful person u and my grandparents are – but is that the reason i should have a kid?

Dear Cheeni – So u are ready for kids – yes we have done things together in the past and i would love for our kids to be friends like us – is that all that matters for me to have kids (p.s. stop with the baby rearing topics already…phew…)

Dear neighbours and world in general – Yes yes 3 years of marriage and no offspring…you are so right i am not doing my womanly duties …so what goes of your father??

I am really feeling the pressure now…in fact to such an extent that i am getting pissed off.

My primary reason for not having a kid right away is my health. I have put on truckloads many kilos because of since marriage and i would like to knock off some of the kilos and get fitter before i have a kid. I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy and not have to worry about my knees giving way or the baby getting less nutrition because my body is being greedy. yes plump ppl have had healthy kids…but i choose not to (at the moment at least) and that’s my decision.

I can understand people like my MIL and the Tall One’ grand mom not getting this logic..but my own best friend cheeni…I am so cheesed off with her. We were – Rather she was talking about having babies and she was persuading me – i am not joking- to have a kid. i told her very seriously about weight etc and she tried to convince me saying that “how can u be sure u will drop the weight”…”i know of XYZ to had kids despite being plump” and “Medically not good to have late kids”…

Excuse me lady – what do u mean are u sure u will loose weight?? Don’t i owe it to myself to at least try? U are my friend…isn’t my health important to anyone but my mom and husband? My mom is a doctor – u really think she would advice me to do something (loose weight before baby) which is inconsequential? If u want to have a baby babe…i will be thrilled for u…it might spur me into action – yes we are best friends but u can’t persuade/advice me on this one…I have a husband who has a say and i have a doctor who is my mother who will be advice me medically – i dont need a banker to be giving me google information!

My other reason is my work – i am reaching a level where in sometime (dont ask how many months…i cant measure) even if i take the 6 mths maternity break or longer – i wont loose too much seniority…Dont i owe it to my education and myself to be comfortably placed at my work place before i have a baby?

I know i am approaching the big 3O (in like 2 years) and that’s like “THE END” of the DINK business..Yes i am aware…i will most probably adhere to the set timeline…but shouldn;t my baby making decision be basis what the tall one and i want physically and mentally?

Dear Tall One – Thank u for being the bestest on this one (at least!) Muaahhh what would i do without u!

We the people

Today is supposed to be a historical day for the Indian Judicial history – Kasab’s sentencing – the fastest sentencing in the Indian Judicial system.

Yet i feel unconcerned! I look around me – my office has multiple’s TV on with news channels which proclaim “Kasab guilty on all 86 charges” – people around me continue with their work. No whoops of cheer, no debates on should he be given life imprisonment or death sentence – Nothing.

Yes, the papers are full of victims who want justice – the little 11 year old who was shot wants Kasab to be given death, Tukaram Omble’s daughter wants him publically hung, One of the wife’s of the cops who died feels that this is going to be a prolonged case like that of Afzal Guru- yes they still feel the pinch coz they were the real victims.

We, the non victims – We have moved on…

This from the city which rose with fury post 26/11. We couldn’t believe how people could just walk into our beloved city, walk into our hotels, stations, houses, roads and hospitals and just fire. We felt scared – we felt violated. Yes, We wanted Kasab hung, shot dead publically, we wanted a more responsible government, we wanted a change in politicians, we wanted war with pakistan, we wanted some return on the huge taxes we paid, we didn’t want to be taken for granted. For the first time citizens united to show our fury – on blogs, facebook, candle light marches – we promised to make our government more accountable!

The aftermath – Mumbai had a low voter turnout during the elections post 26/11, we still have a porous border, we know where security is lax and don’t demand that more security precautions be taken. We still have policemen without adequate arms…there is no perceivable difference in our security! The politicians who predicted this was just a flash in the pan were right…they just needed to say the right things for the next few months and then go back to life as usual!

(No i am not being holier than thou – i am ashamed to admit i am guilty of many of the above mentioned lapses!)

So what killed the fury, our promises, our demands —?

Was it the decision to have such a democratic trial for the murderer which made him seem more human- reports of his demands for biryani, his smiles, his daily life, his illness…(I dont want to rant at the media – but some monsters need to continue to be seen as monsters)

Is it in our basic nature as Indians to accept everything as fate – karma, destiny et all? Or do we need a deadly reminder to get up once again?

Is time really a healer? Do we need such healing which makes us so immune to our country and our city? I wish that if and when Kasab is sentenced to death – there is no appeal at the supreme court, my office starts clapping, there is celebration on the street, Facebook updates declare victory on terrorism (small steps ppl!) and people once again wake up and say – “Jagao Re”…

Is this too much to ask for? Isn’t Kasab’s sentencing more momentous that Mumbai Indians entering the finals?

Early Morning Flight = slight dementia

1.Ever wondered why kolkatans get excited when u tell them u are visiting their city and give u a long list of to dos and to meets. If someone told me they were visiting B’lore I would say “Oh”
2.Ever wondered why on early morning flights the men’s security check line is serpentinish (if there is a word like that) and the women’s well…really short?
3.Ever wondered why the employees at the check in counter continue to talk to each other while the line of customers waiting to be checked in keeps growing
4.Ever wondered why people usurp your window seat without even requesting you for it (Dear Mr Sitting next to me man – sure u have ur elderly mother with u – but decency involves asking me whether it’s ok for her to sit there instead of looking blankly at me while I look confused at my already occupied seat. P.s. I REALLY LIKE MY WINDOW SEAT…hmmph what a way to start a day, a 2.5 hr flight and a work trip)
5.Ever wondered how people can sleep on a flight without having the window to lean their head against (Whine Whine I want my window seat)
6.Ever wondered why people refuse food on an airline – I for one am hungry the minute I enter a flight and am a sucker for airline food!
7.Ever wondered why people feel that the handrest on a plane belongs to them (Helloooo – I gave ur mom my seat remember)
8 Ever wondered how airhostess are so impeccably dressed all the time – no hair out of place, no lipstick smudge, hell not
even a pimple or a blemish
9.Ever wondered why people stand up to alight the flight before even the door opens
10. Ever wondered why any of this is my problem – other than my window seat of course *#*%&*$&($&%($&