Category Archives: Mumbai meri jaan

Memories of terror…

This was chosen as Blog Adda’s Spicy Satuday pick

Dear Politicians,

Your head honchos appealed for peace but my blood is boiling.

We are a nation on tenterhooks, choosing our words carefully. However, your flunkies like Uma Bharati and Ravi Shankar Prasad are shooting their mouth. A Barkha Dutt is attempting to silence you. Haven’t u done enough for the nation.

Dont u feel guilty of the blood you have shed in the name of God? Do u believe God wants a “house” to be made from blood stained mud. Dont u feel bad that the seeds of distrust u have sown in 1992, flamed further in 2003 continues to cause fear in our hearts 18 years later.

This city i live in – continues to be haunted. Yes the ghosts aren’t moving around in broad daylight. But dig deep and you will see it. I wasn’t here in Mumbai in 1992 – but i have heard stories from my friends. South Mumbai friends who had never witnessed anything like this before – Hindus and Muslims alike. They saw flames from their upmarket homes. They tell of people pulled out of their flats in areas like Cuffe Parade and murdered.

A close friend of mine – who dad’s is a muslim and mom’s a hindu once told me his experience. He is a privileged boy who lives in Peddar Road -yes his mom’s family had disowned her when she married a muslim. He the only son. A close-knit family – just the three of them. Then came the riots. Apparently his house was marked for “taking care of” coz his was the only flat in the name of a muslim.

They knew the hindu mob was coming. His dad asked his mom and him to go and hide with the neighbours. The neighbours were ok with taking in the kid and mom but not a pure muslim. His mom refused to go. The three of them decided to face the mob together.

Can u imagine the tension they went thru? The fear a 10-year-old felt – he could hear the mobs.. His father blaming himself for his religion, his mom praying for her husband and her son. Yes the mob was shooed away by the police. But the 10-year-old boy was scarred. No he didn’t become a terrorist…

But yes he is convinced that the he will marry only a hindu (and his dad insists too) – so that at least his kid will be 75% Hindu and hence safer. His dad didn’t want him to apply to IIM – Ahmedabad – any guesses why?? He talks endlessly of his dad and he are ganeshji devotees and never talks of the eid i know he celebrates.Every time friends taunted him of supporting Pakistan in a cricket match – it hurt…he had to be extremely vociferous about his support to India in a match…lest someone point a finger! He feels bitter…

In one of my “love your country” lectures…he actually asked me WHY SHOULD I? I know i can tell him about the other things that India has given him…but can i ever convince him enough to wipe out the memories of the fear he felt in 1992?

His memories may not ever be wiped out…but please help us not create any further non-erasable memories for our children.
Help us to continue to believe that God does exist!
And Help us believe that humans (you) have a conscience!

Regards
Just Another Nut

Disclaimer –
While i did mention only 2 leaders from the “Hindu party” there are muslim leaders making equally callous sentences. So in no way am i supporting either side. Please bury the pathars (stones) u want to throw at me -if i remember my science well- it will help prevent soil erosion.

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Happiness is

When the world (read work) acknowledges the importance of your existence and acknowledges the fact that you are one person with two hands for typing follow up mails, 1 chotu brain for processing, 1 mouth for calls.

When your laptop behaves like a 21st century processor instead of making you consider the abacus for vlookup’s instead of the mighty slow (calculating cells – 5%) excel.

When u have a greater workout and dont feel like killing the trainer or committing suicide by jumping out of the nearest window

When u realize you have forgotten your umbrella and the light rain feels great after a workout.

When u can’t get an auto and have the energy to work home in the rain with sensible rainproof shoes and a protected laptop. P.s. it helps if your house is close by

Getting thoroughly drenched by the rain that is not so light anymore and not having a single car splash water on you despite millions of puddles all around. This has to be a miracle!

No nagging mother/husband forcing you to change your wet clothes. Sitting in them and waiting for them to dry on their own.

A hot cup of soup

Being entertained despite the Tall One ditching the you for the evening to visit friends…He didn’t even get one call or sms asking about his existence. This is more like the cool old Nut Thank u fellow bloggers for the entertainment 0 said ABBA style “Thank u for the music”

Learning how to change the header in a blog…it is a big thing for non techies okkkkkk

Discovering a neighbour and making plans to meet in the future (see comments section)…also the thought of walking around a frequently frequented mall wondering which one is your friend blogger and asking random strangers “are u consultant nehuu from iim?”

And its then u know that it is the small things that make life good!

And then there are F*^&ed up days like yesterday when work is a bitch, people think u are actually 2 different people and have all the “bandwidth” to work on everything. When your workout session inspires thoughts of suicide/murder, when ur legs refuse to budge after the session, when u dont have time to open internet explorer forget reading/commenting on a single blog. POsting what’ that

And then u realize that it is still Freaking Monday! Baahh

The universe has a way of evening it out

My take on everything

There is a total dearth of exciting things happening around me – a surprisingly cooperative Tall one, a seemingly sane Cheeni, the same work cribs, no wordless pics, no political or social affairs i feel strongly about- Damn i have nothing to blog about!

So in an attempt to prevent my blog was disappearing off the face of this earth – i have decided to review all the things i did/saw this weekend.

To start off with

Indian Ocean concert – They played at hard rock on friday evening. While some head banged, sang along, woo hoo ed and clicked snaps… there was one girl (u who dont agree and say woman – click on the cross on the top right) who didn’t get it…yes they have a couple of memorable songs – Kandisa and Ruk Jao Bande which she did sing along to…(i say the melody she creates) but most of the time she was engrossed in how the teeny-boppers of the world acted oh so cool with their oversized bags, low jeans, strappy dresses. A little bit of “Excuse me”, instead of rudely pushing someone might not drastically affect your cool quotient..me thinks.To add to all her agonies, her pwetty-pwetty red high heeled shoes were just the wrong accessory for a concert which required her to stand from 9 to 1…Sob…my feet still hurt and no i will not buy an Indian ocean CD! and yes i will lecture teeny boppers on manners…and the embarrassed Tall one and Cheeni can continue to pretend not to know me…

Onto the movie reviews

Aisha – Please dont ostracize me but i enjoyed it. I love a chick flick and i quite enjoyed it. The story line seems to be pretty much copied inspired from Clueless. i dont get why no reviewer sees this similarity and continues to say it’s based on Emma. Hello -makeover of new girl in town, hooking her up with guy interested in you while she is actually likes someone else, she then falling for the guy u like but dont know that u like…Hello Hello?? Clueless!! While i dont think there is much to rave about the acting…what acting…they needed to be pretty much be themselves..i have to add Abhay Deol is drool worthy and does quite a good job of playing the meanie boy..Sonam well she looks like she needs some food! (I dont like thin people! – grapes are not green and all)

Once upon a time in Mumbai – i read reviews comparing it to Satya. No Way Ho-Se/Jo-se?? ( i have always wanted to say this…just dont know how to spell it). Maybe it’s coz i saw the late night show and couldn’t appreciate the “art”.OUTIM is nice (for lack of a better word)…and while it is set in the 1970/80’s – something about the mannerisms of the cast – i can’t pin point just doesnt seem to reflect that period. P.s. Kangana was too thin for an actress of that time…just saying that’s all!

Comedy Store in Mumbai – Now this i totally recommend. In my books, it’s the latest hip thing to do.The comedy store at lower parel has stand up comedy acts (pretty much on the lines of those seen in Seinfield) and is definitely worth a visit if not for anything but at least for novelty value. Sit in the front row at your own risk!

Oh and finally a restaurant review – Kangna in Westin (goregaon E) – I will say this for all the restaurants (Kangna/Seasonal taste) in Westin, if not for the view and the ambience they would be empty. The food is average and non memorable. The view overlooking arrey colony is a delight during the day time – lush green and in the night the highway is a pretty picture…lights and all!

and before u think i get more than 48 hours for a weekend…i visited the comedy store the week before last

and none of the comedians were too thin! I like that place

Oh and just to add mention i bought 5 pairs of shoes at the lifestyle sale – and that too for just 2,500 – Sighhh…i love sales!

We the people

Today is supposed to be a historical day for the Indian Judicial history – Kasab’s sentencing – the fastest sentencing in the Indian Judicial system.

Yet i feel unconcerned! I look around me – my office has multiple’s TV on with news channels which proclaim “Kasab guilty on all 86 charges” – people around me continue with their work. No whoops of cheer, no debates on should he be given life imprisonment or death sentence – Nothing.

Yes, the papers are full of victims who want justice – the little 11 year old who was shot wants Kasab to be given death, Tukaram Omble’s daughter wants him publically hung, One of the wife’s of the cops who died feels that this is going to be a prolonged case like that of Afzal Guru- yes they still feel the pinch coz they were the real victims.

We, the non victims – We have moved on…

This from the city which rose with fury post 26/11. We couldn’t believe how people could just walk into our beloved city, walk into our hotels, stations, houses, roads and hospitals and just fire. We felt scared – we felt violated. Yes, We wanted Kasab hung, shot dead publically, we wanted a more responsible government, we wanted a change in politicians, we wanted war with pakistan, we wanted some return on the huge taxes we paid, we didn’t want to be taken for granted. For the first time citizens united to show our fury – on blogs, facebook, candle light marches – we promised to make our government more accountable!

The aftermath – Mumbai had a low voter turnout during the elections post 26/11, we still have a porous border, we know where security is lax and don’t demand that more security precautions be taken. We still have policemen without adequate arms…there is no perceivable difference in our security! The politicians who predicted this was just a flash in the pan were right…they just needed to say the right things for the next few months and then go back to life as usual!

(No i am not being holier than thou – i am ashamed to admit i am guilty of many of the above mentioned lapses!)

So what killed the fury, our promises, our demands —?

Was it the decision to have such a democratic trial for the murderer which made him seem more human- reports of his demands for biryani, his smiles, his daily life, his illness…(I dont want to rant at the media – but some monsters need to continue to be seen as monsters)

Is it in our basic nature as Indians to accept everything as fate – karma, destiny et all? Or do we need a deadly reminder to get up once again?

Is time really a healer? Do we need such healing which makes us so immune to our country and our city? I wish that if and when Kasab is sentenced to death – there is no appeal at the supreme court, my office starts clapping, there is celebration on the street, Facebook updates declare victory on terrorism (small steps ppl!) and people once again wake up and say – “Jagao Re”…

Is this too much to ask for? Isn’t Kasab’s sentencing more momentous that Mumbai Indians entering the finals?

Of Checklists…

Now i am all about the education. Given below is a checklist of all actionables in the situation given below

Situation: Tickets to the Delhi-Mumbai IPL match being given to an elite few in office

Start praying that “office-ji” thinks i am worthy of the same: Check
Refresh mail every 3 mins to see if i have chosen few: Check
Get jealous each time u hear people mention they have been given tickets: Check
Think in mind “time to quit” (Hello! i celebrate my fourth year of being in this org in April and no ticket for me???): Check
Do a jig when boss informs you that u are among the chosen few:Check
Delete resignation letter which has been written in head:Check
Taunt the Tall One and all friends interested in IPL about match: Check

on a side note to be effective- taunt every 5 mins or whenever bored whichever is faster

Update Facebook status on mobile with Tra-la-la-la to ignite curiosity: Check
Follow office ticket distribution lady until she gives u ticket: Check

To ensure you are always remembered for future tickets – give a speech on how excited u are, how much this means to u and how you watched another match…the lady might be looking bored but trust me thats just an act and of course she is going to remember u

On the day of the match
Spend a lot of time deciding what to wear – Well i might be spotted on TV by Vidhu Vinod Chopra who might cast me in his next movie: Check
Reach office and realize Flourescent green T-shirts are being provided. Sigh, remove hep match clothes, try on multiple sizes until u find one where the T-shirt is not too short, too long, too tight or too loose: Check
Don’t eat lunch as you are too excited: Check
Regret decision as it takes you two hours to reach the venue (Just in time for a 4:30 match): Check

At the stadium
Wear T-shirts inside out as Mumbai Indians sponsors considered our flourescent T-shirts as “AMBUSH MARKETING”….Come on i didn’t even learn about this marketing at B-school ( Could i have slept thru the lecture?) : Check.
Get hold of a whistle and keep blowing it (the beginning of a match can be boring): Check
To make things really exciting have a whistle blowing session with colleagues. We are wearing our T-shirts inside afterall.
Dear Vidhu Vinod Chopra – the girl in flourescent green inside out T-shirt with red clips incessantly blowing her whistle debuted as cinderella’s step sister in the fourth standard….just saying

During the match
Recite Sachin Sachin, Scream, Dance, Laugh, Drink, pass envious glances to the cheerleaders legs, attempt a few mexican waves and of course TAUNT DELHI_ITES on their FLOP SHOW!
Ha! Ha! What a match DD supporters hide ur face!

After the match

Stop Blowing the whistle – Realize that the match is over and people on marine drive are planning to throw u into the sea if u don’t stop…

Dear Tall one- 3 hours of whistle blowing makes it a habit…can’t u understand that??? Let me blow my whistle at home Pleaseeee!

Panchgani, Parenting and Posing!

One of the things i love about Mumbai is the number of weekend getaways that are just a couple of hours away – while most of them don’t boast of too many things to do – it is always fun to get away from the mad mad city and chill out with good friends or maybe just your spouse.

So the last weekend – four of us couples decided to go to Panchgani. Our friends R & A are 5 months old parents with the most adorable baby – Baby R…and it was very interesting to watch them do this whole parenting thing. They are the first of our friends (who we generally hang out with) to do this baby business and it is funny to see the beer loving, fun-loving, and “us” kind of people do this whole responsibility thing. A who i knew as a lazy lump, who spoke eloquently and decisively on all financial matters coochie coo a little baby!!! R who was always ready to kick butt in Teen pati/Taboo – give up on a game to catch up on some much-needed sleep or be with baby R!!!!…umm funny

But i must say i am so proud of the way R is handling things. She has a maid who come along on the trip (another first for us!) and i am so proud of the fact that R is such a hands on mom. The maid is literally a carrier of baby bags, the person who holds the dhakkan of the bottle while the milk is prepared, the person who wants dal chawal while we eat strawberries and fantastic pizzas…and yes the person who was with the baby for the half hour R decided to play with us while the baby slept. I love the fact that she is not dependent on the maid and she is the baby’s mommy full-time. Of course things will change when she gets back to work but i am confident she will work it out.

However i see the stress in R – the generally calm R gets irritated fairly quickly and has been taking it out on A – A has received quite a few earfuls in public view (Shudder shudder wonder what happens behind closed doors?) and i am so proud of A for the fact that he never once reacted or said anything back. In fact he goes out of the way to be nice to R, help her, offer to buy her flowers to get back into good books. (p.s. big step for the kanjus boy). Love i tell u is not easy…

It is scary though coz i know i have the potential to react the way R does to situations (Maybe not in public view but react still). I dont want to be ‘tana maroing’ the Tall one and he being nice. I want us both to not feel the stress but enjoy the baby, enjoy parenthood…But then again i dont have one of those small things…so i guess idealism is easy!

Btw for the record i think R & A are doing a fab job and baby R is such a coochie moochie soochie coo that i might just eat him up before he gets more adorable. It is so touching the way a baby laughs when u just look at them or say anything from “coochie coo” to “Kya ho raha hai” to the baby – how can u ignore such a doll..we spent most of the trip talking nonsense to baby R just to see his toothless smile. And what a baby sirji! he cried for 5 mins in the 2 day trip, never does susu on u, happily comes to all (including me!!!), smells divine, and has toes that will comfortably fit into my mouth to be chewed off.

So other than judging parenting skills – we did the usual – boat ride at night, teen patti where yours truly well and truly lost, slept in, visited table top, saw the pandavas foot marks (For the record – they had really tiny feet), ate, drank, debated endless “plans for the day” which we never did anyway, went in search of the last strawberries of the season and took countless posing snaps! Oh yeah – we walked past Arbaaz Khan, some of us posed with Vinod Khanna and we made search parties who would spot Salman Khan. The tall one spotted his arm getting into the car and i saw his car drive off! Yes we shared our residence with the movie crew of Salman’s new movie with Shatrugan Sinha’s daughter. (p.s. no we aint rolling in money, salman had heard that i would be there and downgraded himself to stay near me)

All in all – a good relaxing fun trip!

btw a tip to all who visit Panchgani – Buy the strawberry jam from hotel ravine…it is divine with real strawberry pieces! and while u are at it get me one too. And do visit Panchgani soon coz My stock is depleting at a very fast rate

Of broken daredevils and broken hearts

It’s been 2 hours since Mumbai Indians thrashed, decimated, annihilated delhi daredevils and i just can’t stop grinning!!!

And of course I SHALL rub it into every single “taunt maroing” Delhi daredevil supporters!..so ppl have deleted me from Facebook profiles, switched off their phones, disconnected their door bells, and are scheming at how to pretend that i am invisible in office tomm!

but my chotu sa amount of blog readers – I shall not taunt you (can’t risk the number of reader’s falling to single digits).

So here goes all my support for Mumbai – the place I love and don’t love, the place I have spent the max years of my life(around 10 years), the place i met the Tall one and some of the bestest friends ever and

Bangalore – my home,where my grannies and mommy live, the place I have spent all my summer holidays and of course because of a certain Mr Rahul Dravid – the man I was in love with for so many years, who broke my heart when he married Mrs Dravid (fell in love with the tall one on a rebound I think), the man I almost married (that’s a story for another time) and my almost jeeja ji Mr Kumble – who broke my friend’s heart a few years before mine was broken into a million million pieces!
Sigghhhhh…heartbreaks are hard to overcome many years later also! (now u know why i dont show the Tall one my blog – he may not want to know he was a rebound case)

Anyway getting back to the IPL – So tell me who do u support and why?