Anyone who knew me while I was pregnant knows how much I wanted a baby girl, how sure I was that the elf would be a girl. Obsessed almost…
Till today I crib about not having a girl…
A lot of it is of course the drama queen in me and the opportunity to blame the tall one for wrong sex baby.
I have to admit a lot of me wanting a girl has to do with me wanting to play dress up. But then you hear the girls are more sensitive and more attached to parents and you want that too.
Last night as I scrubbed the kitchen clean – using the time to just think. My me time. I send Tall one and the elf outside to eat watermelon. A little voice comes behind me – what you doing mama, why you doing and starts his endless questions, I find ways to send him out telling him play with your blocks colours etc etc. But he keeps going out taking a bite of watermelon and comes back and hangs out with me.
Go out elf
No mama I will stand here while you clean. Coz I like you no ! Everyday I be with you.
Reminds me of years ago when I hang out with my mom in the kitchen, talking away. Just like that I have a little helper – always watching me cook, clean, always wanting to know what I am doing!
He even watches me dress and comments on my clothes. The criticism is always private, the praise public. Mama you look so nice Dadu looks fat.
I don’t know what the future holds, will he still be mama’s little helper? Most likely not. I have no expectations of him wanting to look after us or hang out with us.
But for now (while he also makes me want to tear out my hair) I love how important he makes me feel. I am not entirely sure I deserve such love but I am grateful for it.
I am tempted to say it aloud – it doesn’t matter if the child is a boy or a girl, its something just the way they are built and what they learn that makes me them who they are.
this is my 100th post (yes yes finally I know) but I can’t think of a better person or topic to dedicate it to. This is a tribute to all boy children coz they deserve it too