So i will be 11 weeks old today at 1710 hours and other than the fact that i have arrived you know nothing about me – the Elf – king of Elfdom (Kingdom – Elfdom u see!). The subjects of the Elfdom aim to please me, it’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it!
Anyway, about me
1. When i was born, the subjects were seen giggling away at this particular “old man disapproving look” i had pretty much mastered. Though the mother often shivered at the admonishment and wondered if the reason for the look was her parenting skills or the huge amounts of food which she seemed to keep gulping down. The parents think that the loss of that look is due to improved parenting skills – Bah! It’s just these cheeks i now have, the have taken away my mature (read old man) look and brought in a baby look!
2. Apparently they (the grandmothers) say i am a delight in the “feeding” department. The mother sometimes in moments of anguish is seen asking the father to sell the car and park a cow in the parking lot! Do you know i pay tax in order to get my food. The mother has started this tax system of showering me with kissies before she lets any morsel go down my throat and should i take a break in between, kissies are showered again. Mama – boys don’t like kissies ok??? What abt my macho image?
3. The mother was thrilled when I gave my first hi-fi at 7 weeks and now i am made to perform for all & sundry. I think I should start charging these subjects for all the performances that me as a king has to give. In addition i can also spread my hands out wide and show “How much does mamma, dadu, etc etc love me”.
4. So playtime with the mama is sitting on her legs and making her repeat “Owwww’s” , “umm’s” and “Aaaah” and for variety “go, ga,coo, ooh’s” after me. She sometimes has to sing and despite dadu muttering something about her being besura’s, i quite enjoy it. I bestow smiles on this disciple on mine and often her eyes mist up at my smiles (Women! i tell you).
The father on the other day is entertained by not allowing him to sit. We explore the house, while he sings, dances and talks to me. Sometimes i pretend to be asleep and of course the second, he sits down i open my eyes and the whole routine starts again. Great fun i say!
5. OOOh and my walks – i sit on my throne and one or both subjects take me around the complex. For sometime, i look at the wonders of the world and then fall plonk asleep. I have loads of little girls trying to get a piece of me – but the mother she wards them off with he is too small/asleep/ and blah blah. She says something about less immunity but i believe she is just jealous of other women in my life!
6. Did you know i know how to box?? Am just waiting for a steady head and the ability to walk before i take on the Olympics. I box and jab pretty hard. How do i knows it’s hard you ask? Well i often send random jabs my way (of course i howl, i am a baby after all) and once i even had a black eye from a box i administered me. It’s tough being a baby you know!
7. Some of you know my mommy as a drama queen. I can tell you i am her Son…i am well on my way to becoming a drama king. When i am in company, even if i have fed like 10 secs ago, i will pretend to be really hungry – starving types, root at the said person and make sad faces, making ppl tell my mommy “He is ‘really’ hungry”. I don’t know if i imagine that murderous look she gives me. And oh i do it to the dadu too. If mommy walks into the room, i pretend that dadu has been ignoring my pleas for milk and bringing on a full-scale yelling which has mommy look at dadu accusingly. Good fun i tell you! p.s. i can even sprout some tears now for full impact!
So in the last 11 weeks, i outgrew a set of nappies, plan to outgrow a couple of the jablas i wear. My mommy keeps muttering my baby growing up and of bringing sprouting tears. Uff she is quite a waterfall i tell you. I lost some hair and grew it back and now there is some moaning about how my curls don’t sit down when combed. I have graduated to little laughs and can hold a rattle. I definitely recognize the slaves in my elfdom. I have taken 2 flights and been an angel. I go to visit my dadi next week so another one of those aeroplane things.
Basically, the subjects in my elfdom pretty much adore their king. I keep them entertained and on their feet.
I am their joy and delight and they can’t raving and are pretty amazed at their ability of making such a cute baby!
You may have guessed, the mother grabbed the laptop for the last line…Baahh!!!! ok i gotta go and ensure that my subjects are toeing the elfdom’s lines! Being a baby is busy work!