Monthly Archives: January 2012

Modern India – really?

So there is this colleague of mine – let me just call her PR. PR is a doll! A beautiful, smart girl, well-educated – done her MBA from one of India’s top B schools. Her Dad works as one of the top officials in one of India’s most respected government organizations. He has worked his way up, to be one of the top officials. She speaks highly of her father who despite belonging to an SC caste never used the reservation or allowed his daughters to use it. They have had to work their way to whatever they have done in life

PR is dating this mallu Nair boy – a nice boy am sure -nothing great in the looks department,educated less than her, happens to work abroad. His dad used to work in the gulf and came back to settle in Kerala.

His parents are dead against their marriage – their first reason being that she was an SC!!!
They then think that her dad should give them dowry – coz their son isn’t easily available on “sale” or something to that effect.

When she told me about the dowry bit, i was disgusted and asked her if this guy was worth it. I mean even if your parents are demanding dowry – dont u as a man in love with this girl have the guts to tell them this is wrong! Why are you communicating it to her? Because apparently the boy thinks it’s ok!

What shocked me even more – while PR wasn’t thrilled, she was ok with a certain amount of dowry being given. because in her side, if she had an arranged marriage, dowry is a pre-requisite.

Is it me? Am i too naive or idealistic? Do i live in a palace of illusions?

-> I would have thought her dad would say – I will never give dowry for my daughters! They are educated and capable of earning for themselves and hopefully will do so in tandem with their partners. let the couple make a life for themselves.
-> I would have thought she would have told the guy and his family to buzz off
-> I would have at least expected a lot more outrage from PR – am i good enough for you only with a couple of lakhs accompanying me?
-> I would have thought that in this day and age – caste would not matter especially when the girl is educated and of a similar if not better background than yours

Is modern-day India just a facade?

Is our old thought process just buried below this farce of moderness we claim to have?

What does it feel to grow up knowing that you will be acceptable to a man/his family if u come accompanied with the acceptable amount of money ?

And caste – how can it still matter?

Are we just a handful of us – whose parents would never ever even think of paying dowry for us. My mom as a kid used to always joke that she would ask for dowry from anyone who wanted to marry me!

This saddens me – this India which breaks my notion of dowry, caste etc not being an urbane educated class issue.

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Randomness – Friendship etc etc

So the weekend that was deserves a mention – you decide whether it needs to be read or not. I just want to document this for me.

A very happy 3 days – a perfect end to the year and a perfect start to it too.

Friendly Friday – 30th Dec

We informed the evil boss that we were off from work at 2:30 and he just had to deal with it.

My BFF from my graduation P was in town – down from London. I don’t remember when i last met her – 2 years ago maybe. Both of us are “pathetic phone keeping in touchers” so we barely talk. But somehow when we meet, it’s like we are the same nut/p combination from college, no awkward silences, no u don’t call me, no why didn’t u meet me last time. I think this is just a lovely free free friendship we have!

Later that evening,we were to have a reunion of our MBA friends – i have to admit, i was not too keen calling them boring and all and i was mentioning that to a friend of mine who is also an MBA types and she mentioned how her batchmates were always trying to outdo one another with their job titles, square foot of flats etc.

And i realized nope these guys were not that like that.

i was just being stupid. Somewhere i have a lot of affection for most of my batchmates – i may not want to meet them on a daily basis but they were such an important part of my life for 2 years and will always have a piece of my heart

And boy am i glad i went – we had a blast. The guys got so “nicely high” (me i was the designate driver) -we talked of college crushes, pulled each others legs and it felt so good! I was made to tell the tale of a very non-existent “romantic” story of the Tall one and me!!

We meet again as a larger crowd sometime this month and i will look forward to it

And that was my Friday

SAturday – 31st Dec – While the world planned its party ways and clothes – we went to Khandala in our new car (oops did i just let that slip in) for lunch! Lunch done – we drove right back. Did i say “we”. Sorry the tall one drove back while i slept like there was no tomorrow.

We welcomed New years as grown ups do – ummm ok loosers do – watching Big Boss! A quick hug at 12 and our eyes were back on the TV.

But there was something nice to this – no drunkenness, no struggling for space, no searching for one another in a crowd. here we were just the 2 of us – pizza, garlic bread, and beer to add to the party!

Sunday – 1st Jan – Spoke to all and sundry in the family and then headed for some fantastic seafood! oooh, ooh and the highlight of my life i found a fish shop that delivers fresh fish home. Soo exciting!!! Sherlock Holmes and a hot coffee made my evening!

I can’t really remember what i did on Sunday evening but i am guessing the amnesia is because it must have been fairly dull!

When i read this post, i wonder what made this weekend feel so good – it was like most other weekends, yet it was not. 2012 you look promising don’t ya!