The Deadly Duo

I was scared…very scared…it’s that time of the year when u go to visit the in-laws…the in-laws to be precise refer to my MIL and my grand mother in law.

They have been torturing me demanding this since 4 months of marriage (I AM NOT EXAGGERATING) – yes however dramatic i make it sound…u all know I am talking about a baby!

Initially i did try to give the gyaan on career and being ready and all that, but those pretty much went this way

The dutiful bahu aka me: Want to do blah blah in career and blah blah
The baby wanters: Woh sab toh theek hai but bachche sabse zaroori hai (That;s all cool but kids are most important)

The dutiful bahu: You need to mentally ready, financially blah blah
The baby wanters: Hamare jaane ke pehle Tall one ke bache ke saath khelna hai (Before we go to say hello to the good lord, we want to play with the Tall one’s kids)

So ultimately i decide to do what i do best: SMILE and act deaf dumb and blind!

Usually the Tall one is spared this discussion or disappears from it. Apparently Tall one ko toh bachche bahut pasand hai (Tall one really likes kids)…so it must be all my fault…coz i think that they think in my free time i go around spanking kids!!! Hmmmph

So anyway to get back to the main story…i was really worked up before going to Delhi…coz nowadays the pressure is immense…worrying almost…so i went to get advice to shake the baby wanters off

So i consult my very intelligent friend A who tells me of her even more intelligent friend hence forth referred to as EMI. even more intelligent

Now EMI’s MIL asked her about kids…pat comes her reply “Try toh kar rahe hai but G (EMI’s Husband) ko tests ki zaroorat hai…(we are trying but G needs some tests).

apparently EMI’s MIL has been silenced since.

Armed with this knowledge i went to Tall One and said that this time if he escapes when the topic starts this would be my answer…he of course didn’t cooperate with my idea..and being the eternal optimist he said he would handle it with some elaborate discourse on the future of his career.

So anyway armed with our superior weapons – The first being a consultant’s 4 year horizon plan on our future and the second an atom bomb to my husband’s ego, we bravely left for Delhi.

Ummm…well it was an anti climax…we hardly got any baby questions other than the fact that when Tall one was being congratulated for his promotion…i was told that my next promotion was to be of a “different” kind.

to tell u the truth i was getting freaked out that noone was asking…maybe they had some grander scheme in mind like voodoo or something to ensure the baby reaches my tummy when i eat an apple or something

Anyway…Singing La La La…The tall one and the nut are leaving for Mumbai when…

MIL : Next time this year i want an addition to the family
TALL ONE AND THE NUT : DEAF DUMB BLIND
MIL : Yes Yes next year THIS time
TALL ONE AND THE NUT : DEAF DUMB BLIND

GMIL: Mera Jaane ke pehle (BEfore i go)
Tall One: Kahan Jane ke pehle? Bangalore? (Before u go where? Bangalore)

MIL : NO NEXT YEAR THIS TIME! AN Addition

MIL : NUT, are u listening
Nut: No Mummy
MIL: Tall One,Are u listening
Tall One: NO

Ha! We are a team after all!!! Hi-Fi!

p.s. do u think a puppy qualifies as an addition? Do u think my MIL would have found me cute if i mentioned a puppy!!!

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52 thoughts on “The Deadly Duo

      1. piyu

        Haha.. this is too much :D. My parents/in-laws are way more subtle.. and even while being subtle they are actually kind of afraid to bring up the topic.. muahahhahahaha

        Thank god this happens only on annual visits.. if you lived with them, ab tak cricket team bana li hoti πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

        Reply
  1. celestialrays

    Rofl rofl rofl! I laughed my a$$ over how you have written it πŸ˜€

    *to tell u the truth i was getting freaked out that noone was asking…maybe they had some grander scheme in mind like voodoo or something to ensure the baby reaches my tummy when i eat an apple or something*

    my tummy aches you funny girl πŸ˜€

    I thought I am still harassed about marriage, when my SIL-to-be declared that she will name my children in a rather authoritative tone and made me choke on air πŸ™„

    You never know what can hit you from where πŸ˜›
    Seniors like you making notes for us like this is much appreciated Nut πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Nuttie Natters Post author

      πŸ˜€

      Arrey u Tam Brah’s pray to soo many gods – was really scared some mantra or something is worked out in tandem with the good

      Lol..take notes, make ur excuses ready…u are in for a journey of a lifetime…Lol…i hope ur SIL has named “Both” ur to be kids πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. comfortablynam

    Clueless..that’ll be me.. No one ever asked me anything ever.. Can I say..I love D’s family..

    I have heard enough horror stories and worse..this is nothing.. πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    Good work you two..great team you make πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Nuttie Natters Post author

      We are so thrilled with ourselves…we insist on relating this incident at all forums.

      You are lucky!!! so lucky…i feel like not having a kid just to irritate them πŸ˜›

      Reply
  3. DI

    Hahahahha! I LOVE EMI’s retort! ROFL!
    Only, The Dude is pretty cool taking the blame πŸ™‚ As in, everyone in our family thinks I am all for kids (which I am, not already, that’s all!) and he is the one who wants to have fun! It is not even career. My MIL keeps telling people, that her son ‘ doesn’t get enough of travelling around and taking vacations with his wife and she is worried whether he’ll ever give her a kid!’ :))
    I like deaf dumb blind too πŸ˜‰ But my MIL lives with us!

    Reply
    1. Nuttie Natters Post author

      I think EMI is very cool…

      and u are so lucky that the other one is blamed…the Tall one is superb with kids and hence every1 assumes that i am the “witch” who is refusing to give them offspring.

      Deaf Dumb Blind is so much easier than confrontation or explanation…:D

      Reply
  4. Dido

    Lol until now marriage was scaringg me…now the after effetcs of marriage is :O …

    I’m coming ot u all for all the tipsss and suggestions in future…!!

    But i loveee Deaf dumb …and i super likedd EMI’s ans πŸ˜‰

    Reply
  5. smartassbride

    my MIL has started asking The Question 😦

    the conversation started with “do you remember that couple who got married a few days after you did?”

    “no aunty”

    “hmm, she gave birth to a baby boy today”

    i oohed and aahed and expressed totally fake surprise and also frustrated her(as if i didnt understand the subtitles!) πŸ˜›

    and then i told her mildly,” its not me aunty..its your son who doesnt want a baby right now..”

    Aftermath : the husband received a lot of hints and “please come with a grand kid, atleast steal one from the nearest hospital” kinda pleading. I spent my time looking at my frowning husband and eating snacks and sweets.

    SEE? It works brilliantly! If my parents were to ask The Question, all he has to tell mine is that “its not me athai..its your daughter..”

    But I do love the EMI’s reply.

    Reply
      1. smartassbride

        nuttie, im seriously touched πŸ™‚

        been stalking(thats what reading without commenting should be called) and this was such a lOL post that i couldnt resist commenting. i laughed myself silly at the image of you spanking kids in your free time πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

        Reply
        1. Nuttie Natters Post author

          Oh yeah…it’s a good i saw ur comment – was just off to get my hairbrush to whack the next door neighbour’s kids πŸ™‚

          Lol…now if u dont post fast…u will be solely responsible for my lack of entertainment and hence the kids in the vicinity red butt’s

          Reply
  6. deviantwave

    Lolz…. What a refreshing post … waise I ear marked my archives to come back next year this time for an update ok? πŸ˜› … PUT THT HAIRBRSUH DOWN!

    I remember sis also having to go thru this for last 5 yrs … and once when her MIL was bantering … BIL the sweetheart that he is told her on the face … go tell your friends that your son has problems .. since then it’s all beenm about how the son is working hard n has no time πŸ˜› ..

    But seriosuly Nutty…. its time for more nuts πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Nuttie Natters Post author

      Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…sags already an MIL!!!! No nuts for all of you for bad behaviour…btw i did read thru almost your whole archives on sunday…..i didn’t comment though…breaks the flow πŸ˜›

      Reply
  7. zephyr

    The only way to beat the DD is to stand united, whether deaf, dumb or blind or otherwise. All the best for next year. do what you must and need to. A big hug frpm me.

    Reply
  8. Bikram

    ahmmm ahmmm now then , this is relly interesting .. at least i get to see the other side of the scenario, I meant from the Ladies point of view.. πŸ™‚

    so looking forward to the next year now he he he he

    and yeah united we stand strong that for sure

    and NOOOOOOOOO a puppy doesnot count for a addition .. πŸ™‚

    I would not say anything other then ALL THE BEST … and keep us posted he he he he he he he

    πŸ™‚

    Bikram’s

    Reply
  9. telugumom

    I have been there. But, it was my mom who started talking about babies 4 months into our marriage. MIL started right after our 1st anniversary. It was hard. But, we just did not care. Living miles apart was helpful in a way because we can only talk a few things on the phone and whenever the situation started getting uncomfortable, we would give some excuse to end the call. So, that helped πŸ™‚

    After we had a son, they did not say anything for an year and then started talking about the second one.

    Try the puppy thing and let us know what the reaction was……

    All I can say is Good Luck πŸ™‚

    Reply
  10. Pixie

    ROTFL!!!
    πŸ˜†

    Hugs!! Why is this so imp?!Sigh… I’m asked all the time and my answer usually varies from – smile, pretend you don’t know how babies are made :mrgreen: , ask why they wanna know or if its someone closer to my age group – ask if they are pregnant!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
    usually works like a charm! πŸ˜‰

    Reply
  11. The Other Side of Life

    My Mum asks me why I blog, and I very profoundly reply, “I learn life’s lessons here!” She changes the topic thinking I am kidding. Little does she know how serious I am! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜‰
    Thank you for this gyan bhara post. Like Divz said, thank you seniors for the notes! If and when I reach this bridge, I will check out this post again, laugh again, and then go do the EXACT same thing! πŸ˜€
    Seriously, what an ROFL moment that was!

    Reply
  12. S

    Laughing out <realllly loud !!
    Somehow the verbatim conversation sounded like an episode by Russell Peters.. heehee.. and I could imagine all the intonations in ur MIL and GMIL’s dialogues!!

    Reply
  13. Ashwathy

    ROFL!!! πŸ˜€
    Loved ur post!

    I guess I better prepare myself… I’m gonna be there soon! Getting married this month…sigh 😐

    Reply
      1. Ashwathy

        They have already begun πŸ™„
        The comments:
        Ohh next time we see (maybe 2 years from now) there will be little a Ashwathy or (fiance’s name) trotting around…

        Makes me want to run for my life!!! 😯

        Reply
  14. My era

    Thanks a ton for sharing this awesomely narrated post….Nothing can match that deaf dumb blind approach but EMI’s idea was an atom bomb indeed πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    It’s rightly said, we can find anything and everything if we look for it…and you proved it right with this awesome idea to fight back the baby demanding souls.

    Reply

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