A couple of nights ago, i chanced upon a blog which made me sob…
It’s not the first time that i cried after reading a blog but what made me feel worse was that i *gasp* knew the blogger. She is a good friend of mine – a colleague from work – When i was in bangalore we used to have lunch together every day of the 8 months i worked there. She was one of the few colleagues i invited for my wedding (the rest were reception types). We don’t keep in touch too much now…But yes i would think of her as a friend more than a colleague!
We spent so much time discussing my upcoming marriage, her unluckiness with men, another friend’s problems with her inlaws and conception…how to loose weight…i thought we discussed it all…the three of us *lunch buddies* as we were called.
But i read her blog and i realise how much she still hurts for her father who passed away 6 years ago this May. I knew her dad had passed away, i knew that it was sudden…but i didn’t know that she had seen her dad standing in the rain a couple of days after he passed away. I didn’t know she was so sad inside…i didn’t know that time doesn’t make things better…I didn’t know that she wrote such lovely poetry…
I am sorry P…for all the words i didn’t hear! i feel guilty for being such a superficial friend…i wish i could make it up and tell u i know.
I initially wondered why she kept all this inside her…and then i realized that she had an outlet – her blog.!!
Did i leave a message – No? Why…Well i felt like i was invading her privacy!
It got me thinking…i dont want someone from my “real” world coming here…this is my space …anonymity gives me comfort!
I like the fact that i am getting to know u people…i am more open to knowing u *off the blog and in the real world* than i was when i started this blog.
But i know one thing for sure- i dont want people i know in “real world” to know that i blog. Anyone close to me who suspects i have a blog will recognize this blog as mine! I dont want that so off goes the photo for one…!!!
Nuttie Natters 
Good decision on your part. I echo your views. Here words are more important and the privacy should be preserved and respected. That way I can be me and you can be true you, I think.
Yes “true” you is the critical aint it!
I started just like you Nuttie..People I know in real life write blogs..and I read them too, since they passed around the URL. But when I leave a comment on their blog, I leave it as me..
But my blog is my space..and I like it that way. No one who knows me in real life has been to my blog and if they have..I don’t know of them..and I am happy like that. Don’t know what I will do if they stop by and let me know they stopped by..but will cross the bridge once I get there.
That said..I have made some amazing friends through my blog..and I do talk to them away from the blog..and in those few cases I don’t mind the giving up of anonymity much.
True comfy…my thoughts exactly…!!! I *think* i will be ok giving my anonymity for u guys who i meet here…
Like ajay said maybe you will stop being the real you if people from the “real” world started stopping by!
More like you stop being the totally honest you..since you start to sensor what you write..who you write about if you know people in the real life are reading..
I am not saying we are not honest when we write. But that sensor is must when you publish something in a public domain ; whether you are anon or not. Don’t you think ?
Of course BM and i think each person’s sensor will be different …Much like we are in the real world…where some reveal more than others 😀
Yep. I don’t mind giving out my real name and other info to you guys…just that I don’t want the two to be equated anywhere online. Just in case 🙂
true..know what u mean…i think very common thought process with new bloggers 😀
I know what you mean. Apart from a select few in the “real” world, I wouldn’t want others to find out. Simply because that’ll inhibit my writing! Here’s to anonymity 😀
And about your friend…well, I guess maybe she would have felt a little uncomfortable discussing it too, which is probably why she preferred to blog about it.
*hug*
Thanks for the hug chini…yes i my friend didnt want to show people she worked with that she had a vulnerable side to her!
i completely understand how you feel. Makes sense to not show our vulnerability to people we see on a regular basis na?
True…u dont want pity/sympathy or even worse unwarranted advise…do we?
I would not want people who know me in real life, stumble across my blog either.. just as chinkurli said, it would make me a LOT more conscious of what I write. I so prefer my anonymity 🙂
But of course, it is different to shed anonymity for some blogging-buddies.. That is completely fine.
true…looks like we are once again on the same boat :D…How many boats are we in at the same time 😀
Thatz a wise decision probably. When I started blogging, I did pass on the url to the family [the totally harmless ones :P] and a few friends, whom I consider very closeee. And one of them who got angry that I did nt meet her but caught up with other blogfriends when I ws in Blr last time [ws totally due to lack of time and nothing else] came back on my blog and back-stabbed me so badly. I dnt mind trolls @ all but somebody so close to u dng that … it hurt me so much 😦 😦
Hey…i remember u mentioning this incident on Nu’s blog i think…Poor u….yes u never know what happens in life…your relationships with people change with time!
Nuts !!! HUGS first of all…and shant ho ja !!
You know that I started blogging and made it so popular myself within my real world circle that yes sometimes I feel I can’t write what I want to…which tells me that I must go anon…
Secondly,I’ve made cool friends here through this space and I’m glad to meet them…they are gems..like comfy,divi,swaram,G,T,Piyu…I’m glad to know them off the blog too 🙂
So when are we knowing each other 😉 In fact when am I knowing you 🙂
Ab shant hu!!! …well all i know is your name and location…lol…!!! Soon soon…i am just scared coz i am so pathetic at keeping in touch with ppl…that i will cheese u guys off also with my incommunicado modes!
😛 that I bet we are too.
oh o ! someone made me sad..and also made me realize that it’s better to be anon 😦 and that I didn’t think about it earlier 😦
Was that me? Was it? Was it??? i says sawwwry to nu!
Nuttie, check your mail 😀
Yipppeee!! Thank u sweetheart…am guessing it’s the archies…checked it from my phone as in office yahoo is not accessible…can’t wait to go home…*walks off thinking of possible reasons to go home early*
I don’t know exactly how I will feel if I come across something like this. Respecting one’s privacy is something very important. A lot of times; when interactions go beyond the blogs; you are expected to let out everything about your life; something that should happen out of willingness without the set expectations. So I prefer to keep such interactions to the blogs than moving them to real life. You know what I mean.
Yes…Bm…i understand u and am probably with u on this one…thats why i mentioned “i think i am ok”
I wish I was anonymous too NuNa.. its too late now, and I cant write another blog..
So you guys are missing out on some interesting stories 😛
Anyway, I totally understand what your friend’s going thru, and you did the right thing, respecting her emotions 🙂
CR….Start another blog…Come on…i wanna know interesting storiess…come onnnnn..
Btw Nuna..u too???
NuNa is CUTE 😛
😛
I like Nuttie better 😛
How true! I tried being anon and still don’t post my real name or photo, but being a mother of a social media fellow, I am known as his mom by his friends and those in his circle. and that does makes me hesitant to write about a lot of stuff which I would otherwise have. And being a novice blogger and all, I can’t maintain another anon blog!
Oooh that’s a toughie right…ur son had written an awesome blog on ur father/father in law…vinni right!
my father. Vinni called him Story thatha (story grandpa). He loved the tales and even preferred them to playing with other kids!
😀 i love it when grand children can recall stories of their grandparents…story thatha too cute!
Amen to the post. I’m pa.ra.noid about blogging as myself. Feels so naked, especially since everyone and their pet is googleable these days.
You know, something very similar happened to me once, found a blog of someone who I knew in real life, and got to know so much more. I didn’t leave a message either. But I understood him much better, so it’s ok.
Also, I started a blog with my name in the url, so junta knows me. When I moved , I left a link there, so that’s still there 😦 But wottodo?
It’s strange when u chance on someone u knows blog…almost feels like u are intruding their space..!
Maybe not being anonymous works for u…but else u can mail ur readers ur new blog and start afresh 😀
Totally agree, I wouldn’t want anybody to equate the blogger me to the real me or vice versa though both are the very same, there is still an if somewhere… Nevertheless, my 3+1 gets my posts automatically whenever it’s done 🙂
And u know what, when I was away for a while this month it was more of my blogger buddies who raised an eyebrow and looked around, popped in that mail or a message and it felt so goooood to come back to an inbox with so many ppl concerned about u:)
Love u my friends… and I’m glad I blog after all
Hugs to u Nutty…tk
Nuttie write something now.
Wow…i have arrived !!! someone misses me here…Chini…have new super boss driving me crazy….so no thoughts except tiredness these days 😦
Yeah babe, long time no post 🙂
Come on, you know you want to write one 😀