Monthly Archives: May 2010

Help required

Blah, Blah and even more blah

Just imagine this from me who starts getting excited about Friday evening from 11 in the morning…

Ok i warn u this is likely to be random and not make any sense. So anyone who enjoys their sanity look for the (x) cross sign at the top right side of your screen!

1. I have a new super boss (joined 1 week ag) – desi returned from Amreeka…calls for meetings at 7:30 in the morning. Some please help get him onto Indian Standard time

2. Oh and while u are at – please inform him that slavery has been abolished all over the globe!

In other news – the Tall one has eloped to Delhi for a friend’s wedding -yes elope is the right word for breaking my heart and leaving me alone on the weekend.Weekday i am ok with …weekend is blasphemy -Some one please help find the cool Nut who didn’t whine over a husband missing over the weekend…

The only excitement in my life is a brilliantly comfortable bed and our “wii” which i am now addicted to. I believe it will make me size zero …ok ok a size 8…But i know something that health comes from all the yuck things in life…karela juice, tinda sabzi and boring hours at gym….warning – no comments (lectures) on how cool gymming is will be welcome!

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Anonymous

A couple of nights ago, i chanced upon a blog which made me sob…

It’s not the first time that i cried after reading a blog but what made me feel worse was that i *gasp* knew the blogger. She is a good friend of mine – a colleague from work – When i was in bangalore we used to have lunch together every day of the 8 months i worked there. She was one of the few colleagues i invited for my wedding (the rest were reception types). We don’t keep in touch too much now…But yes i would think of her as a friend more than a colleague!

We spent so much time discussing my upcoming marriage, her unluckiness with men, another friend’s problems with her inlaws and conception…how to loose weight…i thought we discussed it all…the three of us *lunch buddies* as we were called.

But i read her blog and i realise how much she still hurts for her father who passed away 6 years ago this May. I knew her dad had passed away, i knew that it was sudden…but i didn’t know that she had seen her dad standing in the rain a couple of days after he passed away. I didn’t know she was so sad inside…i didn’t know that time doesn’t make things better…I didn’t know that she wrote such lovely poetry…

I am sorry P…for all the words i didn’t hear! i feel guilty for being such a superficial friend…i wish i could make it up and tell u i know.

I initially wondered why she kept all this inside her…and then i realized that she had an outlet – her blog.!!

Did i leave a message – No? Why…Well i felt like i was invading her privacy!

It got me thinking…i dont want someone from my “real” world coming here…this is my space …anonymity gives me comfort!

I like the fact that i am getting to know u people…i am more open to knowing u *off the blog and in the real world* than i was when i started this blog.

But i know one thing for sure- i dont want people i know in “real world” to know that i blog. Anyone close to me who suspects i have a blog will recognize this blog as mine! I dont want that so off goes the photo for one…!!!

Happy Blogger and a Tag

I have come to the conclusion – that i LOVE Blogging.

Yes i am new to this but i love the fact that i can express my thoughts and feelings to unbiased bloggers and get tremendous support/advice from such awesome people…Yes u can take a bow.

And better still i feel like a part of their world..So we get to know Buzz stories, their opinion on television, feminism,mangoes in their garden,you learn that their first theatre role was the same as yours, robberies in their homes, their daily existence and updates, their 100 days together,their ability to drive motorcycles in mumbai, (standing ovation btw)baby names, neighbours doing it rather noisily, beautiful poems and stories…its pretty amazing. At times you empathize, at times u envy, at times u wonder if it is you who is writing this and at times u learn to appreciate things around you more. It surprises me that u actually starting caring for the person…Sometimes i think it’s strange that i have faceless friends who i share a lot more with than my ‘facefull’ friends!

So thank u people…for delurking, for your comments, for visiting (i would prefer comments – but thank u nevertheless). Thank u for sometimes putting things in perspective, for sometimes advising and sometimes just ur hugs – I always end up feeling ‘lighter” and “better”

Now enough of senti – now i show off …. I got my first indiblogger rank – 71…and they say i should be thrilled…so here goes yay…also blog adda chose this post of mine as a “Spicy Saturday pick”…so yay again…!

This seems to be the flavour of last week (i am lazy and hence 1 week late)

Ajay tagged me to – so here goes

Rules — I am taking the path set by comfy and T and not following the rules…so here goes

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent…i only hint,kick and punch until i get my way

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Of course…don’t we all??? and girls smell so much better 😛

Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty – not once twice…Once i was being ragged and forced into it…in the middle of the college canteen i danced to mera piya ghar aya and the second time was at some random place..where every1 danced on the table…so i followed like a good girl! Oh the question was in a bar…okay just once 😀

Ever told a lie? Innocent – Lie – who me? the Angel…???…Ummm did i have to do this truthfully?

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent – refer to question 1…i get my way

Kissed a picture? Guilty – thank god i am not alone on this one!

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty…i am Kumbhakaran’s younger sister when it comes to sleeping!

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty!

Held a snake? Innocent – I might call myself nut…but i am not totally nuts!

Been suspended from school? Innocent – finally!

Been fired from a job? Innocent.

Done something you regret? Guilty. Would u believe me if i said otherwise

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Ummm…not sure

Kissed in the rain? Guilty.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty and didn;t know how to get down. So sat on the roof and howled. P.s. i was 7 then.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Titaxy wants to know who makes rules of should/shouldn’t. Once she finds out i shall answer this one

Sang in the shower? Guilty. Indian idol doesn’t know what they are missing

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty – i know many mean people

Shaved your head? Guilty. My mother is also mean types

Had a boxing membership? Innocent. Does playing boxing on my wii count

Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty.

Been in a band? Guilty

Shot a gun? Innocent

Donated Blood? Guilty

Eaten alligator meat? Guilty but taking a cue from someone else – i would like to feed Ajay to an alligator for tagging me on this one…it’s never ending

Eaten cheesecake? Drawing flowers with my toe…Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Should i love the Tall One? Is he lovable…He doesn’t EVER listen to what i am saying when the TV is on…So should i should i?

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent…Good girl types

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty…I liked Rinke Khanna (as an actress) but people will mock me if i do

Been too honest? ALl the bloody time,..except in this tag 😛

Ruined a surprise? Guilty – read question above

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty – u think i have a “few extra” kilos from reading blogs?

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Jeans = man’s clothes?

joined a pageant: Guilty …forced forced…i am not so pretty and no i didn’t win

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty…if they didn’t mean it…i will hit, kick and punch with my muskels!

Had communication with your ex? Guilty – weird as it sounds we are friends!

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent. (Ram Ram)

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty – most of the time…and to feel better i go to sleep 😀

Ok..guys take it up…if u feel like answering a million questions!

Have a great day!

Dear Me – that’s a lot of rants!

i apologize but i am cranky under the work pressure and all other pressure around me. i promise to try to be more cheerful after a restful weekend and many ZZZZZ’s

Dear MIL – Your son turned 32 – u feel that is too old to be childless. Is it now really? Does his wife’s age/ambition not matter?

Dear BIL – Yes, u conceived within 9 months of marriage, yes it worked out well for u, Some people might want to chart their own path and not copy yours!

Dear Grandmother in LAw- i would love for my kids to know the wonderful person u and my grandparents are – but is that the reason i should have a kid?

Dear Cheeni – So u are ready for kids – yes we have done things together in the past and i would love for our kids to be friends like us – is that all that matters for me to have kids (p.s. stop with the baby rearing topics already…phew…)

Dear neighbours and world in general – Yes yes 3 years of marriage and no offspring…you are so right i am not doing my womanly duties …so what goes of your father??

I am really feeling the pressure now…in fact to such an extent that i am getting pissed off.

My primary reason for not having a kid right away is my health. I have put on truckloads many kilos because of since marriage and i would like to knock off some of the kilos and get fitter before i have a kid. I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy and not have to worry about my knees giving way or the baby getting less nutrition because my body is being greedy. yes plump ppl have had healthy kids…but i choose not to (at the moment at least) and that’s my decision.

I can understand people like my MIL and the Tall One’ grand mom not getting this logic..but my own best friend cheeni…I am so cheesed off with her. We were – Rather she was talking about having babies and she was persuading me – i am not joking- to have a kid. i told her very seriously about weight etc and she tried to convince me saying that “how can u be sure u will drop the weight”…”i know of XYZ to had kids despite being plump” and “Medically not good to have late kids”…

Excuse me lady – what do u mean are u sure u will loose weight?? Don’t i owe it to myself to at least try? U are my friend…isn’t my health important to anyone but my mom and husband? My mom is a doctor – u really think she would advice me to do something (loose weight before baby) which is inconsequential? If u want to have a baby babe…i will be thrilled for u…it might spur me into action – yes we are best friends but u can’t persuade/advice me on this one…I have a husband who has a say and i have a doctor who is my mother who will be advice me medically – i dont need a banker to be giving me google information!

My other reason is my work – i am reaching a level where in sometime (dont ask how many months…i cant measure) even if i take the 6 mths maternity break or longer – i wont loose too much seniority…Dont i owe it to my education and myself to be comfortably placed at my work place before i have a baby?

I know i am approaching the big 3O (in like 2 years) and that’s like “THE END” of the DINK business..Yes i am aware…i will most probably adhere to the set timeline…but shouldn;t my baby making decision be basis what the tall one and i want physically and mentally?

Dear Tall One – Thank u for being the bestest on this one (at least!) Muaahhh what would i do without u!

The Lioness and her cub!

It started with the naming of the cub…Old boring names were suggested, the lioness put her paw down and the cub had a name which allowed her to be “with it”

Circumstances had made the cub timid – some might say clingy…the cub slept on top of u…when the lioness needed to change sides, the cub got off and once the side was changed, the cub climbed back on once again…I wonder why u recall this so fondly…when u probably couldn’t sleep at night. It’s amazing that the clingy cub was delighted to move into her own room at age 6. Did u have anything to do with it?

At age five – the cub went and had an accident…one where there was the possibility the cub wouldn’t walk again…the recovery period took a year and 2 surgeries and apparently I went through a lot of pain…but look maa I can walk perfectly. It’s been 23 years, so why do your eyes still fill up? Yes, the scar on my right leg is huge and everyone notices it. You made me confident enough to wear skirts without being conscious about my scar, to ignore the stares of the less subtle, to not want plastic surgery when I was getting married (as recommended by many parlour aunties – lol)

The lioness ensured her cub was protected from many bitter truths…maa – the cub has grown up sane despite the truths..and all thanks to you! No she is not traumatized or hiding the same…she is a normal human being! Things happen – not your fault mamma…never was and never will be!

The lioness had her antenna’s up – she had to protect her cub from certain hunters in their jungle – the hunters have packed their bags and gone. The cub has forgotten the hunters – but remembers the endless games played with the lioness, the books read with the lioness and the endless conversations. The cub is safe…your antenna’s can come down.

The lioness has taught the cub the tricks of the jungle – Being independent, the importance of family, loving unconditionally, being positive, being strong (physically and mentally), being fun loving, being a mother, daughter or a friend- the cub may not be as adept at you but she will always know that is possible to be so adept and have the courage should circumstances arise.

But mamma, the cub is 28 now – a strong independent woman. The cub is happy -so mamma lion – let your gear down, freely roam your jungles or in your case the roads of Europe !

ROaaarrrr……

I have to add this: mailed my mamma this (anonymous blog and all) and this was her response:

Dear Cub,
I am all teary eyed now and full of so many emotions! My biggest accomplishment., I have always maintained is to raise you and I am so proud of the young woman that you are. You are good, kind, hassle free and my biggest moral support, my crutch, my joy and happiness. That you will always be-no matter how old I or you are!All I want is that you should be happy-no matter what and I will always be there for you-no matter what -just as my parents showed me how
Love you so much baby

Thank u blogadda for the mother’s day contest – i am not very good at telling my mom how i feel about her and this was just the thing i required!

This customized design says it all

Escape from me being me!

Responsibility is a scary word…

i can feel butterflies in my tummy!

My Boss is away for close to a month and my super boss is in the process of moving into a new role…which means that the Nut will directly be reporting into the Big Boss (the head) himself. The Nut and her boss are the sole members of a team – a team which has gained prominence because of the importance by the Head to what we handle – a role where we are highly dependent on what others implement but the results of the same are 100% of our Job Objectives (JO) and maybe 10% of the implementers JO…which makes us ummm…painful irritants to others

The role is one where there is huge opportunities to be bullied by all the “Big Ones” in other departments.

The role is one where undiplomatic me might say all the wrong things to the Big Boss and get us into trouble

The role is unexplored – no one knows what will work to help succeed in this.

I have two options this month – one slink away into oblivion – do what’s expected or one could shine -an opportunity for the “Big Ones” to realize that the Nut has potential.

The good parts of oblivion sinking are its easy, its safe, its suit lazy me to the core. the bad parts are i dont really like being seeing as “side kick” to boss…i

The good parts of Shining are i shine, i gain “prominence” and the next steps promotion et all become easier. The bad parts are u have to work hard, work late (which i hate), might involve tons of dirty work, i might try to shine, other might not be so interested in what i want to drive resulting in nothingness, i might rub a lot of shoulders the wrong way and hence get sc***ed further.

I know i should attempt to shine…its just my inner laziness can easily take over my profession ambitions.

I dont know why i need to blog this – i blogged hoping it would reduce the butterflies in my tummy (Nope no chance), i blog hoping u guys have some terrific/magic tips to see me thru,

i blogged to be honest to myself of the consequences of the two roads ahead of me Robert Frost style

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Help me help my professional self…!

We the people

Today is supposed to be a historical day for the Indian Judicial history – Kasab’s sentencing – the fastest sentencing in the Indian Judicial system.

Yet i feel unconcerned! I look around me – my office has multiple’s TV on with news channels which proclaim “Kasab guilty on all 86 charges” – people around me continue with their work. No whoops of cheer, no debates on should he be given life imprisonment or death sentence – Nothing.

Yes, the papers are full of victims who want justice – the little 11 year old who was shot wants Kasab to be given death, Tukaram Omble’s daughter wants him publically hung, One of the wife’s of the cops who died feels that this is going to be a prolonged case like that of Afzal Guru- yes they still feel the pinch coz they were the real victims.

We, the non victims – We have moved on…

This from the city which rose with fury post 26/11. We couldn’t believe how people could just walk into our beloved city, walk into our hotels, stations, houses, roads and hospitals and just fire. We felt scared – we felt violated. Yes, We wanted Kasab hung, shot dead publically, we wanted a more responsible government, we wanted a change in politicians, we wanted war with pakistan, we wanted some return on the huge taxes we paid, we didn’t want to be taken for granted. For the first time citizens united to show our fury – on blogs, facebook, candle light marches – we promised to make our government more accountable!

The aftermath – Mumbai had a low voter turnout during the elections post 26/11, we still have a porous border, we know where security is lax and don’t demand that more security precautions be taken. We still have policemen without adequate arms…there is no perceivable difference in our security! The politicians who predicted this was just a flash in the pan were right…they just needed to say the right things for the next few months and then go back to life as usual!

(No i am not being holier than thou – i am ashamed to admit i am guilty of many of the above mentioned lapses!)

So what killed the fury, our promises, our demands —?

Was it the decision to have such a democratic trial for the murderer which made him seem more human- reports of his demands for biryani, his smiles, his daily life, his illness…(I dont want to rant at the media – but some monsters need to continue to be seen as monsters)

Is it in our basic nature as Indians to accept everything as fate – karma, destiny et all? Or do we need a deadly reminder to get up once again?

Is time really a healer? Do we need such healing which makes us so immune to our country and our city? I wish that if and when Kasab is sentenced to death – there is no appeal at the supreme court, my office starts clapping, there is celebration on the street, Facebook updates declare victory on terrorism (small steps ppl!) and people once again wake up and say – “Jagao Re”…

Is this too much to ask for? Isn’t Kasab’s sentencing more momentous that Mumbai Indians entering the finals?