Monthly Archives: March 2010

The Grannies

MM’s post on how she was influenced by her parent’s and relative’s marriage set me thinking of my nana-nani (Daddy and Ammamma in the Nut speak). They are now in their 80’s and will be married for 55 years this May (Touches wood! Thoo Thoo!!). The got married the regular way – Boy’s mom sees girl, likes girl, asks boy to see girl – boy says if amma likes girl, i don’t need to see and meet for the first time on their marriage day!

Daddy – the original object of my hero-worship – the handsome fair retired air-force officer who has a toughie image with his moustache is actually a softie inside (psst – nowadays his eyes fill up when he sees us off), the one who believes in black and white – everyone is good until proven otherwise and then the person is in the dog house forever, the one who sticks to etiquette and doing the right thing. Ammamma – the beautiful dusky one with the endless stories, the practical one, the one who believes in grey shades of all humans are the quintessential example of “opposites attract”.

They both have been bestowed with a great sense of humour and this makes their constant squabbling very amusing. All around are to maintain silence when Daddy and Ammamma do *dishoom dishoom* lest you can’t miss those awesome one liners …and a side product of their squabbles is an FIR (complaint) being lodged with my mom playing supreme court judge. Ammamma will crib about the number of hours daddy takes getting ready, about how he tries to convert the house into a fruit market with his excessive grocery shopping, about how he refuses to handover the newspaper to anyone until he has read the whole thing TWICE -including all the ads ( am with u ammamma on this one – he even catches multiple shut eyes in between).

To ensure he is not left out in the lodging of FIR’s Daddy will complain about how ammamma has stitched the pillows on the arm chair such that he slides off, about how she keeps changing the furniture around (yes yes at eighty) and how she goes on about Mr So-So shopkeeper being a cheat coz of something he did or said sometime in his life!

But man are they a deadly team when required. Be it protecting their daughter and grand daughter from the hardships of life with Daddy ensuring no external party can touch us to ammamma ensuring that her children are enveloped by her love. They even manage to interchange these roles with ease.

They are the most selfless parents, always there for their children but never once have they restricted their children from doing anything just so that their children could be physically close to them (not even when they are in their 80’s).For the last couple of years, my mom was in Bangalore living near them, keeping an eye on them (to ensure no fourth sibling comes into the world) and they loved having her around – ! But the minute they heard of a job opportunity my mom had received in Scandinavia – Ammamma (who had just recovered from breast cancer) and Daddy knowing their daughter’s love for travel and sense of adventure – actively encouraged her to go. No guilt trips, no pressure nothing!

It’s no wonder that no conversation between their offspring is complete without mentioning “What a deadly duo they are”.

And their love for each other – it’s in the subtle things that they do – Once in a while before sleeping – Daddy will put his hand on ammamma shoulder and pat her as if to say “thank u” or “I am here” or ” you r a good girl”. Ammamma will reciprocate by putting her other hand on his hand as if to say “thank u to u too” or “Yes, and i am here too” or in typically ammamma chutzpah – “i know i am a good girl and u aint too bad either”

God bless Ammamma and Daddy (which is actually ironic coz i think of them as god incarnate) and keep them in fighting condition coz we need them!

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Seven Deadly Sins

So a darkcomedycalledlife had tagged me sometime ago and am finally taking it up. U see I have been busy – ummm busy playing “cafe world” on facebook. So this is my first tag and in my lurking days i thought i would be superb at tags – but i must say i was wrong. Anyway so here goes

I am supposed to reveal seven interesting but random things about me:

1.I can’t do one thing at a time – So if I am at work (it is implied that i work @ work) i will always be reading something on the net or in the dire situation of no internet access – I will work on 2 unrelated things at the same time. I have to play café world, pet society or some mindless game while watching tv, cooking or cleaning the house. Hell as a kid the best way for me to study was in front of the TV or while reading a novel!

2.I become obsessive about things which is soon followed by complete disinterest. If I I get hooked onto something be it dancing, playing the guitar, my silly facebook games – I get obsessed and my life will revolve around the current obsession. My sleep schedules, my google sessions,my multitasking (as mentioned above) all revolve around my latest obsession…and then suddenly I get bored and not touch it again. The only exception being books which I never tire of…If I am reading the book I have to finish it off that day (unless it is the suitable boy type books), I will walk on the road reading the book, exercise, eat, cook while reading – Currently my obsession of blogging/reading blogs is being interrupted by “café world” (facebook app – v silly I must add)- I hope I don’t totally loose interest! (please note my repeated use of the two words- cafe world)

3. I love reality shows to distraction – (yes darkcomedy I hate those annoying kid shows too) but the rest of them bring it on – I can sit thru whole episodes (in case I miss it I youtube it) of big boss, swayamvaar’s, American idol, beauty and the geek, roadies u name it and I will watch it! I don’t understand how people don’t like it – ok to defend myself I do have some kind of intelligence and a life.

4.I was a very very thin child and fairly slim throughout my teenage years (barring my tenth) – Post marriage of 3 years and no kids (i sometimes feeling like saying i had 3-4 kids to defend my weight) I have put on at least 15 kilos!!! …the Tall one and a couple of hormones are so responsible for it…the doctor actually told me that “sometimes after a stressful event people do have a problem”– referring to me moving out of home and getting married to the Tall one! Loosing weight and more importantly getting healthy is my primary motive this year. P.s. I belong to a family of thin “u must exercise” people who eat like no man’s business!!!

5. I am one of ‘those women’ who don’t go goo-goo-gaa-gaa over babies (unless related like nephews/nieces and cousins or close friend’s babies). I can play with a kid (age 2-9) for sometime but after that I am done. I don’t like kids who hit adults and are old enough to understand that this is not done, I don’t like kids who ask you what u have bought for them the minute they see you and whose world revolves around all those weird cartoon characters who exist now, I don’t like kids who think that dancing like bipasha or dressing up like Kareena Kapoor is the done thing. Basically this new age kids (Gen Z or whatever they are) befuddle me. I know I know I am a mean nut – its not the kids fault’s it is their parents who are responsible. At this point I must add – I love how mad momma is bringing up her kids…and nam while buzz baby is small I like how practical and sensible you are! – yes i read ur latest post and u are DEF not them parents i spoke abt above – just an awesome mom.

6. I am a “mommy” tail kind of person – I do fight with her, we do get on each others nerves but I know my choices in life are always affected by what will mama think, I know I speak like her, behave like her,we both have a similar fake polite laugh and a similar voice –Shucks, I have realized that I even argue like her and the worst part is I have always hated how she argues.

7.I am a very happy person (yes I do sob and have those noone loves me moments )– but by and large I am happy!!! (finds wood and knocks on wood)– I have been thru a lot in life (at least that’s what people say) and I have never felt like it was the end of the world or a big deal, I don’t feel depressed, I don’t get bogged down by situations, I never think my job is in a rut (it’s only a job) and I can always find solutions out of all situations….my only negative thoughts are anger and irritation which die down within 10-15 mins…And this is all due to my Tall one and my mom and my nana,nani (ammamma and daddy in my language)

P.s. i am more interesting that this — i promise i promise
Now i must tag 7 people – so here goes

Oh but before that one more random fact about me – i can’t count – so i have tagged 10 people

1. Nam – she is the sweetest ever (u see she always always comments on my blogs) hehehe…no seriously SHE IS THE sweetest ever with the cutest little Buzz
2. Whiney Mom – would like to know more about u sweetie
3. Di – We have 1 thing in common – Dravid broke our hearts – let me know more to compare notes
4. Nu – u like Mumbai and i like people who like Mumbai – so do take my this tag
5. Meira – i love the way u write, so here’s me being greedy
6. Asaaan – i know i know u dont know me – i have commented on ur blog just once – but lurk around often- love ur blog and the things u buy for ur house
7. Snippets – Your blogs do tell me a lot about u – but a little more to help me know u better
8. Memories and Mirages – i love love ur short stories – how about something abt u
9. Sunshine Days – i so identify with u on so many things!
10. Bongette Tales – u have been MIA…and hence this is a where are u tag

Angels and Demons!

Isn’t it strange when my mom comes over to stay – I am the one who puts my routine on hold to spend time with her…Yes yes it is because I want to…and when the Tall one mom comes to stay – it is me again who is there with her at home or volunteering to take her to see relatives…..while he plays squash or watches TV …

What a good girl i am…i need an award for best bahu types and the Tall One — well he is the villian…Hmm if Ekta Kapoor made a serial on us…When i am on-screen — the happy sounds will play in the background like the mandir bell, a happy filmy song and my face will share screen space with images of smiling gods!…and when the Tall one is on screen…they would show him with one eyebrow up, a drink in his hand and the background music would be sinister…

and to think people think he is the angel!

Of broken daredevils and broken hearts

It’s been 2 hours since Mumbai Indians thrashed, decimated, annihilated delhi daredevils and i just can’t stop grinning!!!

And of course I SHALL rub it into every single “taunt maroing” Delhi daredevil supporters!..so ppl have deleted me from Facebook profiles, switched off their phones, disconnected their door bells, and are scheming at how to pretend that i am invisible in office tomm!

but my chotu sa amount of blog readers – I shall not taunt you (can’t risk the number of reader’s falling to single digits).

So here goes all my support for Mumbai – the place I love and don’t love, the place I have spent the max years of my life(around 10 years), the place i met the Tall one and some of the bestest friends ever and

Bangalore – my home,where my grannies and mommy live, the place I have spent all my summer holidays and of course because of a certain Mr Rahul Dravid – the man I was in love with for so many years, who broke my heart when he married Mrs Dravid (fell in love with the tall one on a rebound I think), the man I almost married (that’s a story for another time) and my almost jeeja ji Mr Kumble – who broke my friend’s heart a few years before mine was broken into a million million pieces!
Sigghhhhh…heartbreaks are hard to overcome many years later also! (now u know why i dont show the Tall one my blog – he may not want to know he was a rebound case)

Anyway getting back to the IPL – So tell me who do u support and why?

“My Side”

Now since I cribbed about the Tall one in the previous post – I really should mention something “so chweet” that he has done too (will help assuage my guilt…I actually had the highest number of visitors the day after I cribbed about him…gulp!!!)

So the other day – my bestestest friend “cheeni” came to stay with me for a couple of days as she was unwell and her hubby being out-of-town, i was deemed the TLC provider.So I promptly sent the Tall One to pick her up on his way back from work – adding another 20 mins to his 1.5 hour commute.

The Tall one reached home tired and when he is tired he looses his social skills and sits silent. (though he claims he spoke to cheeni on the drive home)…so that night I was nagging (god! I hate this word) him about how when “my side” comes he doesn’t talk and I am such a social butterfly (i really am!!) when his friends come…

Anyway – the next day he came home, and i was reading his ‘sms”es – i saw that he had messaged cheeni asking her what she had eaten, had she slept well, had her medicines…and i felt so small…here i had gone on about how he is with “my side”!! I guess everyone has their own way of showing their affection/fondness for others!

In other my side/his side news – My MIL is visiting for 10 days starting Friday! She ain’t the bahu burning variety nor is she the “I am your new mother” variety. We do ok – we don’t fight, we don’t crib to our son/hubby about each other (at least I don’t …do u mummy???), I don’t pass any sarcastic comments (I really wouldn’t like someone to do that to my mother) – i keep quiet when i don’t like something and she does too!

She fawns over her son (which can get my goat!!!- he aint that perfect u c— I am the perfect one) and manages my kitchen. Hell – i love passing on the kitchen duties to anyone…the only issue is that once the person is gone it takes me ageeessss to know what’s happening there..In fact my mom and MIL were with us in Jan and after they left i had just about figured and re-arranged the kitchen the previous sunday…when i realize MIL is on her way!!! Sigh – back to square one…

Anyway i resolve to be a good DIL, spend time with mummy and not let go of my kitchen – i hope it is not viewed as a power struggle but a sanity control instead..!!!

p.s. yes I am the types who check the spouses messages and believe me when I say that I check my husband sms only coz i think he send the funniest messages – i not jealous types…really really!

Fume Fret!

I am not sure if I want to fume and fret about the Tall One in a public forum – but since I am as of now anonymous and the tall one is only read out the blogs I want him to read, I guess I can risk the same.

Is it only the spouse who can invoke a deep sense of irritability in u??? What started off as a regular conversation -regular admonishment of his behaviour- became such that everything he says has irritated me. In any other mood I would have probably let all the stupid statements go by. I am so irritated and the worst thing is that the man knows i am irritated and what does he do – Goes to sleep!!!

It’s always like this when we argue, I can’t sleep until we make up and are friends…where as the Tall One He can sleep…am so cheesed off…and i really wanted to sleep early today…am so dead beat am feeling feverish!

Ok in good news – u know the guy i ranted about in

, well I finally got back to him in true “Nut” style (meaning under the belt!!! Haha)…
A bit of background is that I have been following up with this guy for a month on something I need him to close out but him being him and inefficient he hasn’t got done despite constant reminders.

Anyway, he needed some data from me urgently for a review with the head( which of course being the inefficient dude he is – left it for the last-minute). At first I thought I would just ignore his mail and pretend I was not at my desk and hence didn’t see my mail. Thought the better of it and sent the mail saying marking his boss (he had marked his boss in his requirements mail) saying “pls note the quick response and reciprocate with similar response time” and i added a smiley 🙂 (to show that i could be joking)

Lol – the dude has since lost his supercilious smile and sidey comments – he has learnt the art of politeness!!! The next time i met his boss he told me that he appreciated that i responded so soon and is asking the a** to close out what i had been following up on!

Lesson for the day: Dont take panga with the NUT -and i have just realized that I AM OH SO MEAN! my mother would be ashamed of her angel!

Strange but I do feel better after blogging!

Despite everything!!!

Yes we women have a long way to go in establishing ourselves as equal, learning to live without fear and compromise but there are something’s that we do that are pretty amazing:

1. The golden “multi-tasking” – we can make breakfast, eat breakfast, read the paper,pack lunch, hang out laundry, deal with the maid, the dhobi and the milkman while we get ready for work. The man in the meantime has just about read the paper, used the loo and got ready!!! & that’s only the ones without kids/in-laws staying with them!

2. We might be eve-teased, groped or worse still molested/raped – yes we react differently – we slap, we ignore, we cry, we protest, we blog – But eventually we are back in the “wild wild man-land” – knowing that what happened was not a one-off incident and could happen again.

3. We might be discriminated at work, sexually harassed, made fun of, called a bitch behind our back (if we are lucky) – we might have different ways of dealing with it – yet we go back to face the corporate world, some discouraged but there to support their family, some looking to climb the quintessential corporate ladder, some looking to discover themselves!

4. Don’t even get me started on the threshold of pain business – waxing, threading,dysmenorrhea, VOLUNTARILY bringing a baby from out there…Eeehhh..men they deal with stubbed toes and on an unlucky day being hit in the wrong place!

5.We are willing to take on the responsibility of another human being – yes yes the father is involved..but realistically its the woman who is primarily responsible (and wants to be too) for the health, behaviour and well-being of the kid.

6. Some of us – in the role as mothers, daughters, sisters or wives manage to create the most wonderful men who make the “wild wild man-land”, “the corporate world”, “the painy pain”, the children all worth having!

Happy Woman’s Day ladies! Yes it is special being us despite everything