Black Magic Woman

I have always suspected i have magical powers and over the last week i have proof. So you who is planning to take panga with me…beware! Unfortunately these magical powers only work in troubling people, i haven’t been successful in doing any “good” yet.

So on Friday, my colleagues and i went out for lunch and i drove everyone to the nearby mall. One of the guys – lets call him RA, kept making fun of Swiffy Reddy (my red swift for the ignorant). Yeah Swiffy reddy is now old and a lit bit of her seat stuffing is coming out – but she is my baby and hmmmph to you who are mean to her.

I made a passing comment to RA about not showing off just coz he has a new sparkling car…Guess what come Sunday – he goes shopping, comes back and finds a BIG dent on his car and an even BIGGER SCRATCH!!!

of course i laughed my evil laugh…what did u expect from the ‘angelic nut’

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Anyway so i warned the Tall one about my powers but of course the man paid no heed. The next morning, he had to awake early for a call with the US. He woke up with multiple alarms, i tried – i really tried hard not to smack him for that (See how nice i am!). The man awakes to find that his call has been postponed and he can’t go back to sleep.

Also at that point of time, he thinks i look “pet-able” and it is his birth right to come and try to “pet me”…I tell him very nicely to pls get lost…but no he persists – I get up and yell! (hello, morning sleep, stubble, cranky nut – what do u expect?). The man is scared and goes off to make tea.

My sleep spoilt, a very cranky nut wakes up and demands to be entertained. The Tall one refuses. The audacity of the man i tell u.

Anyway, while drinking his tea, he spills the tea on himself. After much dancing around and commenting on how critical parts of his body had been missed, he finally heard a giggly nut tell him to go put cold water on his “burnt” body.

Screaming and with a lot of drama the man goes to the bathroom and attempts to open the tap. As with most comedies, the shower comes on and drenches.

The Nut is entertained!!!
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Dont take panga with me i say!
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In other news, isn’t the late pataudi just so hot – Why Saif do you have to look so much like your mother. The Husband is not even taking offence to my open leching because of the senior patuadi’s age…

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Growing up

You know you are growing up or rather growing old:

1) When u recognize the books a girl appearing for her 11th standard exams is cramming for and with a start realize you studied from that book 13 years ago!

2) You see your first offer letter and realize that it is 7 years old

3)You realize that there are sooo many people younger to you in office.

4) You realize your MBA batchmates are attending “sport’s day” in their kids school

5) You are no longer asked why/when you aint having a baby because people assume there are some “issues”

6) Your paunch is assumed to be a “baby bump” – maybe that’s when you know you are growing fat

7) When a fellow “Why should i have a baby before 30″ club member deserts the group. You know who you are!!! u deserter…..hmmmph. Same for you Oh office colleague

8 ) Your conversations with your buddies are no longer around “partying” and clothes and u begin to “mention” things u cooked,

9) When you enter the most happening disc in town and the average age goes up

You know somethings never change when:

When Friday evening approaches and u feel the same ok similar excitement as the last day before the holidays

Thursday evening seems like the night before your last exam when u just can’t get down to studying.

Have a great weekend people!

The Enthusiasts and the Fanatics

A couple of years ago – Japan started dividing the world into Enthusiasts and Fanatics.

They introduced the world to Su-Doku.

In the beginning people were happy just attempting to solve it – we were all “Attempters”. They started awaiting the morning paper – ppl would argue with family members just to resolve who would solve the “Su Doku” that day and yes the fight would intensify if God Forbid the person didn’t manage to finish the “Su-Doku” but messed the paper up enough to ensure no one else could solve it.

Then these attempters actually started finishing “Su Doku” on a regular basis and became the “finishers”. It was no longer a big deal to finish Su Doku – what mattered was how much time. Newspapers milked this enthusiasm with crazy folks finishing Su Doku in 1:03:22 Secs (How the hell!!!) The nation went into a frenzy with ppl trying to beat these high standards.

The finishers refined and became the Enthusiasts. They were divided into 2 Sectors -

There were those who loved the fact that they were good at it and solved it at lightening fast time – u guessed it the “Impressers”,

Then there were those who competed it with each other and fought over which one had won by a milli-second – “the fighters” . (I hav heard that these cases were at times settled by the High Court and when the High Court refused to pass a judgement – the Supreme Court was beckoned)

Of course amongest all this there were a section of the society who refused to get drawn in and blamed the lack of time, mathematical inabilities and always screwed up their nose with a “pls – How nerdish”. but then again our story isn;t abt these much of loosers.

Of the Enthusiasts – the impressors – naah there isn;t much to say about them – they were Boring. Just came in Solved the Su-Doku and walked away leaving the world impressed. But the Fighters they Got dangerous. And Competition always divides.

Today we have ppl who upon loosing Su-Doku and being taunted rush to buy Su-Doku Books, get “presented” with the Su-Doku Game and will do anything to ensure that they are never beaten again. They will spend close to an hour arranging the game which shud ideally be solved in two mins -

So ladies and Gentlement here comes ” the Fanatics”….and we all know what fanatism breeds.Yes – they are dangerous – So fighters who aints fanatics, impressors who aint fighters. BEWARE COZ here comes the fanatics.

Dont take them lightly coz they are a result of Japan’s mind game with the rest of the world

So are u an attemptor, a snob, an impresser, an enthusiast or a fanatic?

i had written this in 2007 when my everyone in my office was heavily into Sudoku Mania